An Interview with Maria Angelova
Get Comfortable in your DISCOMFORT ~ If you can ‘do discomfort’ you can do anything!
It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jenny Lincoln.
A full time nomad with 30+ years of Corporate leadership experience, Jenny Lincoln brings a unique lens to the stage. Living outside societal norms with little to no attachments … she has the freedom to tackle big conversations. She is the visionary behind HUMNAV ~ The HUMan NAVigation Practice … Your super smart personalized GPS + portal to unlocking the POTENCY, TRUTH & LOVE of who you BE!
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in Sydney Australia and every weekend my father would take us hiking in the Aussie bush. We’d explore for hours, then find a spectacular rocky outcrop where we would set up a bush BBQ, grill some sausages, and boil up a pot of sweet billy tea! We loved spending the weekends in nature, rock hopping and spotting all sorts of different critters on the ground and in the trees.
On the return journey, Dad would pick one of us to lead the family back to the car. It was usually me, being the youngest by 8 years. This weekly adventure honed an amazing navigational capability within me. Initially, I thought it was just physically getting around towns and traveling. I soon realized it sowed the seeds to be out front leading and guiding others down new paths and into different territories, throughout my Corporate, Spiritual, Nomadic, and Speaking life stages.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
‘Start how you want to finish!’ My family had very high standards, so you were expected to give it you’re all from the very beginning. As a result, I am fully immersive in whatever opportunity I am co-creating. I commit my heart, mind, and soul to each of my projects.
For example, I’m working with a mentor right who lives in New York City, I relocated for 4 weeks so we could work in person and take our sessions to the next level. Before stepping into this 12-month container I wanted to give myself every opportunity to, connect with and be, the best version of myself. Being undiluted, clear-headed, open-hearted, and fully in tune with my intuition, is crucial for me. I completed a 4 day water fast to detox and kickstart greater ‘clean living’ … removing alcohol, caffeine, and sugar from my diet. I find these all cloud my judgment, as well as affect my productivity and flow!
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
I saw the movie JAWS when I was 12 and it freaked me out! Especially that moment a human head rolls out of the smashed-up hull of a boat, I’d never been so frightened! I can still see those visuals 48 years on! It was so disturbing, it gave me a lifelong fear of deep water and sharks. I went from the kid that would swim the furthest, out behind the surf break, in deep deep water. To the kid that would stand on the sand and not venture in!
This false fear that was created inside of me, shut me down and prevented me from enjoying swimming, the beach and any type of water sports for many years. It also created an environment of fear-based actions and behaviors that became a fertile ground for other fears to take root.
The gift in this immobilizing false fear was it taught me to dive into my fears and face them full on!
My fear of:
- Water declined as I became more comfortable scuba diving around the world.
- Spiders lessened significantly after I held a tarantula on a hike in Guatemala.
- Heights vanished as I started to hike volcanoes, paraglide, and zip line!
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?
To me stepping outside your comfort zone could be as simple as doing something unfamiliar, new or different. Driving a different way to work, trying a new restaurant, learning a new language, speaking up in a group or asking for a pay rise. Or it could be more significant like joining a start up, switching careers, jumping into a new relationship, choosing to start a family, taking an overseas posting, stepping into a lifestyle change or taking early retirement!
It usually requires a conscious choice and definitely includes a level of discomfort, especially in the early stages. I feel the more you trust yourself and your abilities, the easier it is to step outside your comfort zone. The more you step out of your comfort zone, the greater your trust in your abilities. It’s a symbiotic relationship that grows and expands with everything you do.
People often feel uneasy when they are stepping out of their comfort zone because they believe they are stepping into UNCERTAINTY and the UNKNOWN!
I feel there is an easy and powerful reframe here: when you step out of your comfort zone you are firmly planting yourself in your COURAGE ZONE. Psychologically this feels more appealing and empowering!
Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?
When you want to increase your core physical strength, you or your fitness instructor stretches you to do one or two more reps! You start to realize your optimal growth point is just outside what you believe you are capable of. It is the same with your mental, emotional, and spiritual fitness, it’s important to step outside your comfort zone and into your courage zone to grow and transform.
The wonderful benefit of spending more time in your courage zone, is you are growing your comfort zone.
Each time you try something new and different, you are increasing your mastery, confidence, and capability. With this expansion, in what I call your Evidence List, you are building internal trust, knowing, and agility. This all enables you to experience and achieve more with greater ease and less struggle, stress, and strain. I feel this is something we can all aspire to.
Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?
Everyone has a different relationship and appetite for change. For some, change is an essential daily ingredient whilst for others it’s a force to be reckoned with. After 20+ years in the profiling and behavioral space, I feel there is a strong correlation to how we approach change and grow our comfort zones.
If change is confronting you, then I would approach expanding your comfort zone from the angle of evolution and mastery. What are the small incremental steps that you can take to extend your mastery to the edge of your comfort zone and then step it out in small regular steps? For example, ask yourself … where is there an opportunity for a new project or business venture that leverages your existing mastery? The people and circumstances may change but your skill set and expertise is migrated to a new environment. The key here is to focus on and leverage what is staying the same. This allows you to stay in the comfort zone of your mastery but still stretches your resourcefulness and agility due to different circumstances.
If you are someone who feasts on change then your comfort zone is likely to be around innovation, taking risks, and pioneering new paths. Your internal drive for new, unique, and different will naturally lure you into your courage zone to the point it all becomes your comfort zone. Discomfort for you will most likely arise when you are in situations of the same … no different!
Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?
In the 3 years before I became Nomadic, I landed a contract in the United Arab Emirates, teaching Leadership and Body Language to the Federal Police and Prison Officers. This opportunity had many degrees of difficulty, the 3 most challenging aspects were:
- Training was in Arabic and so I had to use a translator for everything.
- I was a woman training Emirate men.
- Training was conducted onsite in prison grounds which were military sites!
These were all firsts for me, luckily I was somewhat familiar culturally from all my travels in Morocco and Turkey!
Initially I felt very isolated and alone as everything was foreign and new to me, except the content I was teaching. I soon realized though, it couldn’t be taught in the same way. I had to be creative and break down the barriers. I did this through humor and laughter. After each break, we started with a Mr Bean clip which they grew to love. Rowan Atkinson’s humorous mime skits were the perfect Body Language warm up exercise after copious amounts of sweet tea and baklava!
This opportunity was one of the hardest projects in my working career, it took me way out of my comfort zone mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and morally! It also had wonderful gifts of growth which changed the way I facilitated, trained and talked:
- Everything became more fluid and interactive. Being present, agile and in the moment is critical for success when you are in deeply different cultures.
- Training through a translator makes you more concise and articulate. I learned to craft powerful soundbytes and analogies to convey meaning.
- I became more attuned to reading the energy of the room and the body language of the individuals. I had a sense of what was being said even before it was translated back to me.
- Most importantly, I honed the art of ‘Everything is a teaching opportunity’! This requires courage, vulnerability, and transparency. I was teaching Agile Leadership and Body Language, so I learned to be able to unpack everything and anything, so we could extract the wisdom, insights, and learnings … right there in the moment!
What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?
- Courage is like a muscle it needs a DAILY WORKOUT ~ Ritualise exercising your courage muscles.
It is very important to do something new and different everyday. 10 years of living nomadically has naturally set that up for me. Everyday I am navigating new places, communicating in a different language, and having to problem-solve random issues. When I was managing a Pitaya plantation in the jungle of Belize, the property owner asked me to help the plantation manager’s son into a new school by having a conversation with the Principal. I don’t have children and I didn’t have any reference point for this challenge, but I knew I could have a conversation to find out what was necessary. So we gave it a go and he got accepted … Bravo.
Everyday I like to find FIRSTS … small new things I haven’t tried or done before. Where can you adopt Finding Firsts? Perhaps it’s letting go of the reins and giving your team more space to find their solutions, trusting and taking action on those intuitive nudges, tackling those staff issues that you keep putting off, experimenting with less perfectionism, finding ways to communicate more frequently and openly or encouraging your community to share their thoughts and feelings. The key is to create a small window of opportunity so you can ritualise the daily workout of your courage muscles. They too have muscle memory! Remember … Practice makes Permanent!
2. Get Comfortable in your DISCOMFORT ~ If you can ‘do discomfort’ you can do anything!
Many people stop dead in their tracks when they experience discomfort. In reality, it is just a growth space, like the growing pains you had as a child. When we start to feel wobbly and a little out of control, we can become self-conscious and get caught up in what other people think!
A couple of years ago I was taking riding lessons in Mexico. It had been a long while since I had ridden and it had been with an English saddle. In Mexico, they use western saddles and reins. I felt totally out of my depth and in full discomfort! My eyes were wide with fear, my mind was distracted with the 9 different things I was trying to master: posture, rhythm, feet properly in the stirrups, heels down, knees in, calves squeezing, weight upright … I was a mess and all over the place. Until my trainer said close your eyes, get out of your head and FEEL the horse.
This is a powerful lesson for anything new: close your eyes, connect with your heartspace and allow yourself to feel the discomfort. Too often we judge these emotions as negative and bad. We want to rid ourselves of them and move them on!
In reality, EMotions are just Energy in Motion that’s why they are called EMotions! They are here to communicate and move through you. If we could see emotions as treble and bass, instead of positive and negative, we would become more open to receiving the messages they contain. With an open and curious mind, we can ask ourselves … What is discomfort trying to communicate? Perhaps it is trying to show you where you have a limiting belief, a false fear or are holding onto the past.
3. Stretching into the UNKNOWN parts of you ~ Just like a good yoga pose … relax, open, expand.
I feel one of our primary purposes is to discover the TRUTH of who we BE. You can only do this when you Stretch into the Unknown Parts of You.
During yoga or pilates, when you stretch into a particular pose, there can be tightness, discomfort or a little pain.
What do you do? Back off or breathe and lean into it?
It’s the same with stretching mentally and emotionally … use your physiology to help you open, release, let go and relax.
Take a moment to pull back and drop your shoulders, then lift your chin and head up high. These two actions open and expose your heart and throat, sending a signal to your nervous system that you are safe and everything is okay. This will in turn calm your body, thoughts, and hence your mind, making it easier to stretch yourself and move through the discomfort.
4. Explore your SHARP EDGES ~ Dealing with judgment and vulnerability
We all have what I call Sharp Edges around our comfort zones. This is where we feel vulnerable, exposed and open to judgment. Not just from others, but from our Inner Critic too! These sharp edges are where we can become triggered, activated and take things more personally.
Did you know that curiosity can trump judgment? Next time you start to feel you are being judged, by yourself or others, try to see it as an invitation to get curious.
Playing the curiosity card allows you to keep your mind open so you can see different possibilities. It naturally moves you into solution mode. Whereas, being in judgment of yourself or others, moves you into blame mode. When we are in blame mode we tend to revolve in the problem. This can become draining and consume huge amounts of focus and energy, and eventually hijack your mood or your whole day!
Curiosity can become a wonderful Perspective Switch to help you evolve and grow. It draws you off ‘cozy on the couch’ and woo’s you into your courage zone. It’s one of the top skills I’ve honed as a nomad and supports me to be more productive and in flow!
5. Permission to FLOUNDER, FALL & FIND your feet ~ Adopt the Beginners Mindset.
Creating a safe and trusting environment that supports exploration and experimentation, is a vital step to encourage yourself, your team, organization, or community to step out of their comfort zones!
I feel it’s important to do this internally and externally. Take some time to feel into what you need to do to support yourself when you are stepping into your courage zone? What do your people need for them to feel safe and supported? Do they have a safe space for taking risks or trying something new? Is your environment supportive for being vulnerable and transparent or do people feel threatened and worried there will be consequences for experimenting and making mistakes?
Earlier this year I was selected to join a Virtual Summit, to practice memorized talks on Big Stages. I was both thrilled and filled with fear. My comfort zone on the stage was free flow! This would be my first memorized talk to an audience of 100+. Needless to say, I had a rocky start with tech issues, I was in Mexico with sketchy wifi plus I had a housekeeper who didn’t seem to understand Silencio por favor! I stumbled and fumbled, stayed in it, and eventually found my feet, to land the second half.
Yes, it was painful and I was in great discomfort! My expectations were very high and I could have written it off as a failure and buried it away somewhere. Instead, I chose to talk about it because it was one of the most powerful learning experiences for me and the audience.
Why? Because it demonstrates the power of adopting the BEGINNER’S MINDSET where you permit yourself to:
- Experiment and make mistakes (even in front of people)
- Lean into your fear
- Take imperfect steps and actions
- Learn what works for you
- Stay in it, when it gets messy
- Dial down the self-expectations
- Ask lots of questions
- Request feedback
- Get curious about your feelings and apprehensions
- Practice practice practice, with other people
- Have a laugh and relieve the tension
- Don’t take yourself so seriously
- Adopt soft eyes for you!
When you cultivate the Beginners Mindset within yourself and your people, you are giving the gift of accelerated growth and learning!
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?
I feel people get daunted and derailed by the prospect of uncertainty and the unknown, so they often choose to stay cozy on the couch in their comfort zones!
Where there is uncertainty, there is usually what I call the 6 D’s — Different, Difficult, Discomfort, Doubt, Disappointment and Disapproval. They tend to have a pack mentality, so where there is one, you will often find the others!
When we experience the 6 D’s, they trigger feelings and emotions within us. These emotions are often unsettling and can create fear, disruption and disturbia within us. They become barriers to taking action and stepping into our courage zones. Over time, these barriers can become default settings that keep you stuck in ‘same … no different’ routines!
Let’s take a look at each of them and the emotions and behavior they may trigger:
Different — Being different or doing things differently can create a sense of separateness, disconnection or alienation which can lead you to want to hide or dilute yourself to blend in.
Difficult — Experiencing difficulty can trigger self-consciousness and you may start wondering if you are good enough. This can affect your creativity and workflow.
Discomfort — Mental, emotional and physical discomfort can leave you feeling scared and vulnerable. It can create an invisible force of resistance.
Doubt — When doubt creeps in we tend to flip flop with our decision-making, becoming indecisive and sometimes insecure. Your ability to get things done seems to vanish!
Disappointment — Disappointment can leave you feeling flat, and demotivated and create a list of perceived failures. This internalized scorecard can stop you from talking future action.
Disapproval — Whether it’s your own or others, potential disapproval can trigger feelings of defensiveness, judgment and inadequacy. You may find yourself backing into a corner.
In truth, I feel the 6 D’s are clever allies, here to bring you awareness where you can step into growth and opportunity. They are the heralds of courage calling you to take action and own the truth of Who You Be!
When left unchecked, the 6 D’s can create a fertile playground for your Inner Critic and Saboteur to have free reign.
There is a powerful opportunity here, to get curious and see what playlist you are tuning into; your Inner Critic keeping you revolving, small and diluted or your Inner Coach helping you expand, evolve and be more potent and impactful? You get to choose!
There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?
I 100% agree with this quote. Being nomadic has allowed me to live my life this way. Everyday I am taking action from my courage zone and doing things that scare me. From being ok with getting lost, navigating public transport in every new town or city or dealing with dental and medical checks in a foreign language. Every experience every day has grown my comfort zone so that courage, change, diversity is now my new NORM. Similar to how COVID got everyone more comfortable with working online and from home. So much so, people don’t want to go back to the old ways!
I feel it’s important to discern between the False Fears that can fester in our minds and the Real Fears that our intuition communicates.
I do a lot of hiking on my own, often in some sketchy places. I very rarely feel scared, but when my intuition or gut gives me a nudge, I obey it. Too often we downplay our sensory perception which is so finely tuned to keeping us safe. Perhaps we dismiss it as inferior, something that belongs to the animal kingdom. In my world, intuition and tuning into my senses, not only keeps me safe, it sets me up to receive the full synchronicity of what life has to offer!
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I would love to cultivate a mass BREAKOUT from the cell blocks of our own minds, and invite everyone to experience TRUE FREEDOM by:
~ feeling their own love & value so they know they are enough
~ seeing the truth of who they BE, beyond what they think, feel & do
~ reconnecting with their emotions to access vital information & guidance
~ accessing the powerhouse trilogy of heart, mind & intuition … their whole multi dimensional being!
We are more than our minds! We have the ability to tap into our own super smart human technology. It comes equipped with personalized feedback and notifications, to guide us to our Path of Purpose and the Truth of who we BE! I call it HUMNAV ~ your HUMan NAVigation practice. It has everything you need to know without having to learn it, as it’s innately within you!
When you tap into your own HUMNAV, your whole world changes. You start to see the sophisticated support system showing you where and when to pivot and change directions. Guided by your own inner GPS, you receive the nudges, read the signs and early warning signals that your emotions highlight for you. For example, resentment shifts from being a gnarly emotion that can consume you to reveal a message around over investing in a situation, person or event; procrastination shifts from being a curse to a powerful ally with 7 different messages around alignment, clarity, rhythm, flow, perfectionism, self limiting beliefs and self nurture. Being in receivership of your own carefully crafted feedback and messaging system, elevates the potency and impact you have to make a difference in your world!
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
I would choose Nelson Mandela so we could understand how he found freedom and forgiveness whilst being contained within a 21 by 18 foot prison cell. I would love to know the inner work he did and the process of transformation that occurred for him. We could all learn from this.
How can our readers follow you online?
I would love to connect on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenny-lincoln-speaker-coach/ and if you would love to learn more about HUMNAV and finding true freedom please pop over to www.jennylincoln.com
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
Jenny Lincoln On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone To Grow Both Personally and Professionally was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.