Impactful Communication: Jen Recla Of Recla Coaching & Consulting On 5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator
An Interview With Athalia Monae
If you listen to understand, rather than waiting for your turn to speak, you become someone people want to listen to. When we actively listen to another person, we seek to understand their ideas, opinions, and perspectives. When we we’re waiting for our turn to speak, we fall into a competitive listening trap preventing us from truly connecting with the other individual.
In an age dominated by digital communication, the power of articulate and effective verbal communication cannot be understated. Whether it’s delivering a keynote address, leading a team meeting, or engaging in a one-on-one conversation, impactful speaking can open doors, inspire change, and create lasting impressions. But what truly sets apart an effective communicator? What techniques and nuances elevate a speech from mundane to memorable? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Jen Recla.
As a leadership coach, team dynamics guide, and outdoor enthusiast, Jen Recla is on a mission to awaken passion, joy, and the spirit of adventure in every professional endeavor. With over 15 years of organizational development experience in leadership, coaching, and mentoring, she specializes in creating growth experiences that inspire and equip leaders to build engaged, collaborative, and resilient teams. She leverages her top Gallup strengths of woo, maximizer, communication, futuristic, and arranger to make learning fun, bring knowledge to others, and inspire individuals to reach their full potential. Learn more about Jen’s work here and sign up for weekly growth challenges.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about communication, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I’ve followed an unconventional path to my current career. I went to college for theater and lived in Los Angeles to pursue my acting dream. After a few years of living there, I realized that acting wasn’t the right path for me.
I wasn’t sure about my next career move so I moved back east to be closer to my support network. I found a role working in hospital operations for an amazing leader. She encouraged me to get my MBA and, while I attended the program, I realized that my true passion was teaching others. I had found my true calling! And, bonus, my acting background gave me the public speaking skills I needed to thrive in this space.
Discovering my love for facilitating, teaching, and coaching others led me to roles in the learning and organizational development space. After almost a decade of leading the learning function in several organizations, I started my own consulting practice. While formal leadership is a rewarding experience, I believe I have more impact coaching and leading team dynamics work.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I believe in taking chances and putting myself out there, even when it’s scary. One of those put-myself-out-there bucket list items was to speak at a conference. I was invited to speak in 2021 and it was the most unique in-person conference experience because of COVID-19 restrictions.
It’s not easy speaking in front of 100 people normally. Add in masks and social distancing and it makes for an awkward experience. Without seeing full faces, it was hard to read the room. Were people engaged, bored, indifferent?
Despite this challenge, it turned out to be a very fruitful experience. I made connections, received positive feedback, and it led to future speaking engagements that continue to this day.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Communication, positivity, and an openness to experimentation have been crucial to my success.
Effective communication, whether speaking to audiences or listening actively, fuels my credibility as a facilitator and coach. I’m often on calls with stakeholders asking me to lead team dynamics sessions. Shifting their challenges and needs and crafting them into a purpose and plan is an art. It takes a balance of listening carefully, asking open-ended questions, and then articulating a clear path forward.
Embracing experimentation daily is essential. The world evolves constantly, requiring continual adaptation. For example, when I ran a mentorship program for a previous organization, we regularly gathered feedback and adjusted programming. This improved the value and experience for all participants and kept us constantly innovating. I continue to follow a similar practice with my business on a daily basis.
Attitude is everything. Maintaining a positive outlook helps me maintain focus and motivation amidst the challenges of work and life. Leading with positivity during a shift to remote work in 2020 helped me continue to successfully lead learning programming for an organization going through a tough time. The reward for that positivity was higher engagement scores related to professional development and winning the annual “Most Collaborative Team” and “Positive Change Champion” awards.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that we are all on the same page. How would you define an “Effective Communicator?” What are the characteristics of an effective communicator?
I define an effective communicator as someone who can clearly articulate ideas, opinions, and perspectives in a way that people want to listen and are motivated to act. Effective communicators strengthen trust and psychological safety among their audience by demonstrating empathy, having strong listening skills, and being emotionally intelligent.
How can one tailor their communication style to different audiences or situations?
Individuals with high emotional intelligence (EQ) have strong self-awareness, social skills, and situational awareness. Strengthening EQ is a key component of tailoring communication to the audience. An emotionally intelligent communicator can sense when others are disengaged and adjust their approach to reengage participants.
Understanding and recognizing different communication styles is also important. Does this audience prefer formal or informal communication? Do they want facts and evidence? Are they more interested in emotional stories? Am I speaking with an introvert or an extrovert? Does this person prefer to process information internally or out loud?
Knowing the various communication styles of your audience can help you better prepare your communication while strengthening EQ can help you adapt your approach in the moment.
Can you provide an example of a time when you had to adapt your communication style to reach a particular audience successfully?
I remember working with an executive group to introduce a new concept. I spoke for about 5 to 7 minutes, walking them through different visuals and examples. As I looked around the room, I noticed some “deer in headlights” looks. I realized I needed to change my approach because I sensed I was confusing my audience.
We pivoted to smaller partner conversations with question prompts, then came back together as a larger group. This shift helped deepen the conversation and connect the dots between the executives and the topic I was introducing. It was a great lesson for me to create more space for one-on-one conversations with this group before diving into a new topic.
How do you handle difficult or sensitive conversations while maintaining open and effective communication?
With difficult or sensitive conversations, it’s important to think about your intentions. Ask yourself: What do I want for myself? What do I want for the individual? What do I want for us collectively? After identifying what you want, share that intention with the individual.
Then share your observations, focusing on facts instead of assumptions, conclusions, or judgments. Identify what you actually saw or heard rather than what you think you saw or heard. Lean into curiosity by asking questions that encourage the other person to share their perspective. That’s how you create dialogue and increase the likelihood that the other person will engage in conversation with you instead of going on the defensive.
In your experience, how does storytelling play a role in impactful speaking? Why do you think stories are effective in communication?
People love stories because of how they make them feel. They can inspire and motivate someone to change their perspective or move to action. People may not remember all the details of a story, but they remember the emotion which helps them remember the key takeaways. You might not recall the three characteristics of the best communicators if I list them out, but you will remember the story I shared about a failed conversation and the lessons I learned from it.
It’s helpful for people to hear examples of what you are communicating about. One of the best CEOs I worked for would kick off big meetings or town halls with a story that she would tie back to a theme related to our work. Those stories set the tone for our engagement that day. I remember almost every story she told to this day.
What are your “5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator”?
1 . Listening
If you listen to understand, rather than waiting for your turn to speak, you become someone people want to listen to. When we actively listen to another person, we seek to understand their ideas, opinions, and perspectives. When we we’re waiting for our turn to speak, we fall into a competitive listening trap preventing us from truly connecting with the other individual.
I remember one of my first big meetings with a new team I led. I shared my thoughts and ideas and one of my team members asked a question. I realized that at that moment I was not truly listening to understand. I took a step back, regrouped, and created space for everyone to share their ideas, opinions, and perspectives. That became regular practice for me. Instead of speaking first, I would listen to others’ thoughts and then ask a question or share my perspective. Listening first often changed my initial response. That led to better conversations and more innovation.
2 . Intention
Identifying the purpose of your communication is essential. Why am I communicating with this person or audience? What is my key message? Do I want to inform, inspire, or educate? Is there a call to action?
This is especially critical when having a tough conversation. Ask yourself: “What do I hope to accomplish with this conversation? What outcome do I want?
It’s important to recognize if your intention is healthy or unhealthy. A healthy intention seeks to understand, strengthen trust, or find truth. An unhealthy motive seeks to be right, shame, blame, or punish.
I recall an argument I had with my spouse before we were married. The conversation was spiraling, and I didn’t know where to go. We resolved everything and had a great conversation, but it took hours to conclude. Reflecting on that situation years later, I recognize that I went into that conversation to blame. If I were to have that discussion all over again, I would ask myself the questions above and focus on a healthier intention such as strengthening our relationship or finding a solution that works for both of us.
3 . Asking great questions
Asking great questions is about fostering deeper dialogue and understanding. It involves asking questions that encourage others to share their thoughts, concerns, and feelings. And it all starts with leaning into curiosity.
Utilizing this technique comes up often in coaching conversations. I work with a lot of leaders who struggle with overwhelm. Their workload is piling up, their days are filled with meetings, their employees are burnt out, and their leader is putting extra pressure on them. When we connect, I initially lean into listening and curiosity. That leads to asking questions that further explore the root cause of whatever challenge they are dealing with and encourages them to look at the situation from various perspectives. When you ask great questions, you foster deeper connection and conversation.
4 . Communication preferences
Recognizing, understanding, and appreciating that we all have different communication styles and preferences is essential. Some prefer direct communication, while others prefer indirect communication. Understanding these preferences allows us to flex and adapt our style to meet others where they are, leading to more productive and effective communication.
I’ve worked with dozens of teams to map out their communication preferences and strengths. Engaging in these types of exercises not only builds awareness but helps teams recognize their collective value. In these sessions, we learn and celebrate each communication style, identify challenges and opportunities to grow as a team, and discover more effective ways to collaborate and connect. These interventions have led to more effective communication, better conflict resolution, higher engagement, increased collaboration, and strengthened trust.
5 . Empathy
Treating others with empathy means recognizing their humanity first. It begins with the belief that everyone is doing the best they can given their resources, experiences, and background. Approaching communication with empathy fosters compassionate dialogue and builds trust. When people feel understood and respected, they are more likely to engage in open communication.
It can be challenging to assess tone in email. It’s easy for us to assign a bad intention. I’ve received several emails over the years that seemed combative. When these emails come my way, my first reaction is usually “Hmmm, something seems off here, I wonder if everything is ok.”
My next step is to call them if they are available and ask them how they’re doing. “Hey, I noticed your email. Wanted to check in to see if everything is ok.” Then I create space to listen and ask questions. Nine times out of ten, their “combative” communication is an indication that they are stressed or frustrated and they need additional support.
How do you integrate non-verbal cues into your communication? Can you provide an example of its importance?
Non-verbal cues are crucial in communication, especially when paired with strong listening skills. When you actively listen to someone, head nods and eye contact tells the other person you are engaged and present. This validates their message and encourages further dialogue.
When you are the one communicating, hand gestures and facial expressions also play a significant role. They complement your verbal cues and help convey emotions and emphasis. Maintaining eye contact with the audience and using appropriate gestures can enhance understanding and engagement. It can help your audience feel more connected to you.
I remember attending a conference session where the speaker spent the entire time communicating behind a podium. Their hands remained on the podium the entire time and they didn’t make eye contact with the audience. They stared at the back of the room. It was painful to experience and I couldn’t tell you what the topic was about.
If we want our message to make an impact, we have to pair movement and body language appropriately with our verbal communication, otherwise, we lose our audience.
How has digital communication changed the way you convey your messages? Are there any specific challenges or advantages you’ve encountered?
As someone stronger in verbal communication, strengthening my writing has been a distinct challenge. We are more forgiving of grammatical mistakes in verbal communication compared to the written word, where the expectation for perfection is higher. To adapt, I’ve embraced more virtual and video communication methods, although I continue to work on my writing skills.
One challenge I’ve encountered with virtual communication is the limited view typically presented in a video call — from the shoulders up. An important aspect of effective communication, especially virtually, is the visibility of hand gestures. Seeing someone’s hands can enhance trust. I make a conscious effort to use my hands within the visible frame of the video. This may mean positioning my hands slightly higher and closer to my face than usual, which can feel awkward, but it helps build trust and enhance sincerity with the viewer(s).
Public speaking is a common fear. What techniques or strategies do you recommend to manage and overcome stage fright?
Preparation and practice are key to managing stage fright. Start by clarifying your purpose for speaking and understanding your audience’s interests and demographics. When using visuals, ensure they complement your message rather than distract by limiting text and focusing on visuals that enhance your presentation.
I always recommend a 5–10 minute pre-presentation ritual to mentally prepare. This might involve breathing exercises, drinking water, chewing gum, stretching, walking, or vocal warm-ups. These activities help calm nerves and provide the energy needed to engage effectively with your audience.
Lastly, practice extensively — rehearse your presentation at least three times out loud. If possible, practice in front of a trusted individual who can provide constructive feedback. This not only improves your delivery but also boosts confidence and minimizes stage fright.
What additional resources do you recommend for individuals looking to improve communication skills?
I highly recommend individuals read Crucial Conversations to build their skills around having tough conversations. To strengthen speaking skills, I recommend taking a workshop focused on this topic or participating in a local Toastmasters chapter. I also recommend watching and studying TED talks, especially ones focused on storytelling, listening, and communication skills.
If possible, taking a communication assessment tool like Insights Discovery or DiSC individually or with your team can help strengthen your ability to adapt when conversing with individuals or speaking in front of larger audiences. Hiring a coach or seeking out a mentor to help strengthen communication skills is another path that can help tremendously in this space.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
If I could start a movement, it would be to make walk-and-talk meetings a standard daily practice. I envision organizations encouraging their employees to have at least one walk-and-talk session each day, rather than sitting at a computer for video calls or in a conference room for meetings. This would promote getting outside, moving, and incorporating physical activity into daily routines.
How can our readers further follow you online?
They can connect with me on LinkedIn here.
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About the Interviewer: Athalia Monae is a product creator, published author, entrepreneur, advocate for Feed Our Starving Children, contributing writer for Entrepreneur Media, and founder of Pouches By Alahta.
Impactful Communication: Jen Recla Of Recla Coaching & Consulting On 5 Essential Techniques for… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.