I Can’t Get No Satisfaction: Steffo Shambo Of Tantric Academy On Why So Many Of Us Are Feeling Unsatisfied & What We Can Do About It
An Interview With Drew Gerber
Avoid feeling sorry about yourself, and n. Never compare what you have with what other people have. When you notice the inner critic pop up, repeat the this daily mantra: “I am enough, and I love myself.” First Make these the first thing words you say upon awakening and throughout the day.
From an objective standpoint, we are living in an unprecedented era of abundance. Yet so many of us are feeling unsatisfied. Why are we seemingly so insatiable? What is going on inside of us that is making us feel unsatisfied? What is the brain chemistry that makes us feel this way? Is our brain wired for endless insatiable consumption? What can we do about it? In this interview series, we are talking to credentialed experts such as psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, brain science experts, as well as spiritual and religious leaders, and mind-body-spirit coaches, to address why so many of us are feeling unsatisfied & what we can do about it.
As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Steffo Shambo.
Steffo Shambo is the founder of Tantric Academy where he hosts the #1 masculine mentorship program in the world: The Tantric Man Experience. This mentorship program empowers men to master confidence, sexuality, and purpose. To learn more about how Steffo has helped hundreds of men from around the globe attract their dream partners and save their relationships, go to his website: TantricAcademy.com.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to know how you got from “there to here.” Inspire us with your backstory!
Ever since I had my first ever summer job as a teenager, I could never confine myself to the 9–5 world. My soul was too much of a free spirit that needed to make his own schedule. and I told my family that I will would never work for anyone else. So, I started my first online business with my pocket money, that . This business became both my purpose in life and my bread and butter.
What lessons would you share with yourself if you had the opportunity to meet your younger self?
What I would advise my younger self is don’t not to let anybody tell you him what you he couldn’t or and shouldn’t do. Take the leap of faith and believe in yourself. Don’t let your past define and limit who you are. You only live once, so make the best out of this time by listening to your heart instead of the opinions of others or societies norms. And face your fears often, — this it’s the key to personal growth.
None of us are able to experience success without support along the way. Is there a particular person for whom you are grateful because of the support they gave you to grow you from “there to here?” Can you share that story and why you are grateful for them?
I had the great luck of being surrounded by successful friends, like Sean Kelly — one of my best. Sean helped me fast-track the initial start of my business. Since he was a successful business owner himself, he was able to give me the right guidance and insights that put me on the right track. It probably saved me a couple of years of trial and error.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think it might help people?
I am super excited to offer men a transformational journey in my 9-week mentorship program: The Tantric Man Experience. It fulfills my soul because my mission is to make the world a tiny bit better one man at a time. I do this by helping men becomeing better husbands, lovers, fathers, and leaders in the world.
Ok, thank you for sharing your inspired life. Let’s now talk about feeling “unsatisfied”. In the Western world, humans typically have their shelter, food, and survival needs met. What has led to us feeling we aren’t enough and don’t have enough? What is the wiring? Or in other words, how has nature and nurture played into how humans (in an otherwise “safe and secure” environment) experience feeling less than, or a need to have more than what is needed for basic survival?
Our brains are wired to pursue dopamine. Since we live in a society that has figured this out, we hijack this reward system in the brain with super-stimulus. People seem to always chase the next dopamine high — whether that be constantly checking the phone, eating salty and sugary food, shopping, watching porn, or Netflix binging.
How are societies different? For example, capitalistic societies trade differently than communists. Developed nations trade differently than developing nations. In your opinion, how does society shape a human’s experience and feelings of satisfaction?
While trade varies amongst different societies, an industrialized system that produces good workers remains common. We Society teaches us to use thought to memorize and repeat and memorize information. But Very little thought is used for critical thinking and becoming autonomous human beings. We Society also fails to impress upon us the importance of learning do not learn important life skills like emotional intelligence, how to deal with negative emotions, or how to have a great long-term relationship. Societies, as a whole, does not focus on teaching how to make our own money, how to meditate and soothe our minds, or how to have an awesome, fulfilling sex life.
With a specific focus on brain function, how has the brain and its dominion over the body and beliefs been impacted by the societal construct?
Our cultures often shape what we value as important in life. We are taught to reach for the American dream: make a lot of money, get married and have kids, and buy a house. This dream is sold as the ultimate goal in life — the key to happiness. So, we unconsciously make these beliefs are own. But when people finally reach these hard-earned goals, they realize that they are still not happy. Something feels like it’s missing. Many people often have a midlife crisis at this point because they realize they’ve spent all their life chasing a dream that wasn’t theirs.
Do you think the way our society markets and advertises goods and services, has affected people’s feelings of satisfaction? Can you explain what you mean?
Marketers use science to understand the human psyche of wants and desires. They use ancient survival pathways in the brain to develop super-stimulus products to hijack the brain. Then, based on that science, they y create marketing messages that make us even more addicted and dependent on these products. This leads to more sales for the corporations, but it also leads to more addiction for the people.
How is the wiring of the brain, body, and beliefs shaped by marketing, language, and how humans trade?
Let’s go Think back to the 1950s when the tobacco industry first advertised cigarettes to the unsuspecting world. They were looking for ways to sell more and conducted biased research that concluded smoking cigarettes was healthy back to the 1950’s when cigarettes were first advertised in the world. The tobacco industry was looking for ways to sell more of their products. They conducted biased research concluding that smoking cigarettes is healthy. And they convinced real doctors to promote cigarettes to the world. In fact, Some doctors even told pregnant women to smoke to reduce stress. So, if you ask people from two generations ago, many did smoked because they believed it to be healthy. Subsequently, marketing has had a bad influence on a whole generation.
I work in marketing so I’m very cognizant of this question. In your opinion, how do you think marketing professionals can be more responsible for how their advertising shapes humans’ health and experience of happiness overall?
We live in a consumerism society where big corporations value profit over people. So, so, the well-being of the people is not a priority. Take the smartphone for example. The apps that are Apps promoted there are the social media apps that distract us the most. Marketing professionals could take a well-being- first approach. In this scenario, this would mean including preinstalled health apps on the start screen of every phone. Apps for meditation, learning, fitness, and more In this scenario, that would be to include health apps on the start screen preinstalled on every phone. Such as meditation apps, learning apps, and fitness apps.
For you personally, if you have all your basic needs met, do you feel you have enough in life?
No because Having basic needs met for survival is not enough to make me feel that I have enough in life. Once we reach that state, it gives the human mind time to start thinking about the meaning of life and the need for purpose having our basic needs met for survival gives the human mind time to then start thinking about the meaning of life and the need for purpose. Take men and how their brains is are wired for achievement. If a man works in an unfulfilling job and spends most of his free time passively on the couch, he will be miserable. He will feel like it is not enough. Thus, having a selfless mission or purpose that is bigger the than one’s own self-interest is crucial to feeling satisfied in life. My purpose is to help men realize this themselves through my mentorship program. It is only byin fulfilling this purpose that I feel I have more than enough in life.
Okay, fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview: Can you share with our readers your “5 things we can each do to address the feeling of not having enough.” Please share a story or example for each.
1. Seek self-sourced satisfaction.
Reframe the cultural idea that material things like money and marriage are the magic key that will make you feel happy and satisfied. Putting a million dollars in your bank account will not make you happy — nor will finding your soulmate. As of matter of fact, putting the job of making you happy onto another person such as your husband or wife might actually become a source of suffering.
True Satisfaction will never comes from any external factor. Satisfaction is self-sourced. Go about cultivating satisfaction from within. That isIt may be hard because we’re looking conditioned to look for satisfaction in the wrong places, but it’s well worth it.
2. Try a “dopamine detox”
We Many of us think that of addiction as is only relating to drugs only, but what makes drugs so addictive is the fact that they hijack the dopamine receptors in our brains. But However, the same dopamine is being released when you get a new notification on your social media, or when you bite biting into that cheeseburger that is filled with salt and sugar. We are constantly bombarded with dopamine hijackers every day and and we then perceive that we have to get need more, that there is not enough, and w. We chase that dopamine high, a. And thus, we feel that we are not having enough.
To treat this, I would like to purpose propose a challenge for you. Try a “dopamine detox.” Take one week off your dopamine triggers like scrolling social media, junk food, porn, YouTube, Netflix, or whatever your vices are. This detox can help to reset your brain from being addicted to dopamine novelties. Get back to a status quo of satisfaction and experience that life is enough just as it is.
3. Attitude of Gratitude.
Work at being grateful no matter how big or small the wins. We take so many things much for granted. Appreciate what you have. H: health, food, a roof over your head, — even that your heart beats by itself and breathing happened happens by itself. Try the Gratitude List Exercise: e. Every evening before bed, think back over your day and count at least 5 five reasons to be things are you grateful for that day.
4. Practice self-love.
Avoid feeling sorry about yourself, and n. Never compare what you have with what other people have. When you notice the inner critic pop up, repeat the this daily mantra: “I am enough, and I love myself.” First Make these the first thing words you say upon awakening and throughout the day.
5. Take ownership.
Take responsibility and to work for your wants and desires. If you want to live a certain way, if you want to live a certain lifestyle, you have the ability to can make that happen. Ask yourself: what is one small step you can take action on today?
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have inspired you to live with more joy in life?
One of my yoga teachers, Sadh guru, has written a beautiful book called “Inner Engineering.” This book , that describes the inner workings of feeling satisfied and joyous in life.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would start a movement of a sexual revolution. I want to would strip away the its taboo so sex, and make sex a natural, and healthy, integrated part of a society. W that includes here there is more advanced education about sex and love. I read a research recently that said suggests that happily married men earn 25% more than single men. I believe that they all areas of our lives are related; w. When we have a great, fulfilling love life, we tend to will also be leading lead a better life in general.
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
Head over to TantricAcademy.com where you can watch my free trainings or read my value-packed blog.
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity.
I Can’t Get No Satisfaction: Steffo Shambo Of Tantric Academy On Why So Many Of Us Are Feeling… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.