I Can’t Get No Satisfaction: Bonnie Frankel On Why So Many Of Us Are Feeling Unsatisfied & What We Can Do About It
An Interview With Drew Gerber
Surround yourself with loving and supportive people. — When you are surrounded with this pattern of energy it promotes a nurturing society.
From an objective standpoint, we are living in an unprecedented era of abundance. Yet so many of us are feeling unsatisfied. Why are we seemingly so insatiable? What is going on inside of us that is making us feel unsatisfied? What is the brain chemistry that makes us feel this way? Is our brain wired for endless insatiable consumption? What can we do about it? In this interview series, we are talking to credentialed experts such as psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, brain science experts, as well as spiritual and religious leaders, and mind-body-spirit coaches, to address why so many of us are feeling unsatisfied & what we can do about it.
As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Bonnie Frankel.
Bonnie’s running goal is her commitment to inspire others to find and feel joy despite living in this unsettling world. Bonnie Frankel has proven with her gutsiness to make lemonade out of lemons. When Covid-19 Pandemic attacked, she was running the trails to ensure her endorphins were amped up to build up her emotional and physical immune system so she could combat the uncertainties the world was delivering.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to know how you got from “there to here.” Inspire us with your backstory!
I grew up in an upper middle- class lifestyle living amongst the shakers and movers. The world was my oyster as it nurtured my hopes, dreams, and wishes. I felt secure and safe in our Bel Air neighborhood where we often left our backdoor unlocked while playing on the streets feeling as free as a bird. Our produce was delivered by our friendly produce man. He was cordial going out of his way to say hello while I was walking with friends giving a tasty treat of a sample of fruit in hand on his way to stock our homes with his own home grown organic grown goods. My basic life needs were satisfied with contentment as well as possibilities. In contrast, the second part of my life felt very different than the first part. The fear of uncertainty gradually emerged cancelling out faith/trust as society was gradually growing into being knotty. The world was overwhelmed with distrust especially those that were figure heads representing us in our government. The backers of these figureheads were stocked by the greedy and powerful rich who were calling the shots. The poor and the diminishing middle class had very little influence or hopes to grow their ideas as we had when I was a youngster. I knew that by keeping the nature of my being joyous to strive forward in this foreign world, that exercise would be a key ingredient to keep this emotion alive. The uncertainty and the oppression of world events were continuing to get more toxic. The division of the classes were overwhelming, as the rich were getting richer, and the poor were getting poorer, and the middle class was slowly diminishing. A strong middle class is crucial for having a successful economy and cohesive society as well as promotes a higher level of trust as well as growth.
What lessons would you share with yourself if you had the opportunity to meet your younger self?
Remember to pay attention to your intuition and believe in you because your opinion of you is what really matters. Simplifying/decluttering my lifestyle is important because it frees up space so I can put more valuable time to lead in to help build up communities to encourage a close -knit society as opposed to an isolated one. This brings joy and satisfaction not things. Staying in the present moment is important because it doesn’t allow the mind to get away from you. After all the past is gone, and the future is ambiguous.
None of us are able to experience success without support along the way. Is there a particular person for whom you are grateful because of the support they gave you to grow you from “there to here?” Can you share that story and why you are grateful for them?
My father was a kind hearted man getting satisfaction opening his heart to others. If he knew or didn’t know someone that was in need, he would give the shirt off his back. He was a good listener, and would support me in whatever decision I would make in life because he knew from his own wisdom that it was important to learn from mistakes. When I attempted suicide, he would give me unconditional love and would motivate me to see the light instead of the darkness. My dad ‘s favorite remark, “And this too shall pass.” He was always amazed at my accomplishments as he would marvel at the guts I possessed. He was astonished when I successfully battled breast cancer, the courage to divorce, and the ability to return to the educational system as well as orchestrate a change of an NCAA rule for women. Dad would say to the media, “She usually gets what she wants.” I was blessed to have a supportive father.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think it might help people?
Giving free training sessions to inspire to motivate all ages to exercise and not buy into negative substitutes that the media offers to drop weight. It will amp up their joyous genes and motivate them to share it with others. In the process of writing another book, “Gift of Movement.”
Ok, thank you for sharing your inspired life. Let’s now talk about feeling unsatisfied”. In the Western world, humans typically have their shelter, food, and survival needs met. What has led to us feeling we aren’t enough and don’t have enough? What is the wiring? Or in other words, how has nature and nurture played into how humans (in an otherwise “safe and secure” environment) experience feeling less than, or a need to have more than what is needed for basic survival.
The nature and the nurture in this world are in conflict more than ever in what we have experienced which hinders the feeling of hope, gratitude, and having less can be beneficial. The emotional feeling of not being or having enough stems from many effects that has led up to today’s turmoil. The nurture of our state of affairs, doesn’t nourish our inherent attributes primarily caused by the after effects of the pandemic, the continuance of supporting the Ukraine War, and the greed of the wealthy. There is so much divisiveness between the classes, that the middle class is almost obsolete. The rich keep getting richer to dictate how our country runs, and the poor keep getting poorer and have little say to change the unfairness. Money power has become our God and we have lost the importance of our nature because the nurture isn’t nourishing the care of human relationships amongst people. Due to this situation, people tend to feel that they don’t have enough because of the inconsistencies and unfairness. The conflict of our toxic environment spews out affects people to question their abilities as well as feeling like an imposter. Fear of not having enough or the shelves are empty tends to make people overbuy to make them feel more secure because of the inaccuracies coupled with the instabilities of the today’s world. Distrust leads to fear as it drives people to not bond and promotes selfishness. The integrity of our democracy feels compromised in all areas.
How are societies different? For example, capitalistic societies trade differently than communists. Developed nations trade differently than developing nations. In your opinion, how does society shape a human’s experience and feelings of satisfaction?
Our culture shapes the way we live our lives as in our work and play. It makes a difference in how we view ourselves and others as well as it affects our precious values in what we consider to be right and wrong. Our virtuous choices can influence others and ultimately help shape our society. Satisfaction comes from a healthy life expectancy, social support, freedom, trust and generosity. It also entails that making a living will suffice to afford the basic simplicities in life as well as to look forward to enjoy an extra goody from time to time to encourage possibilities are possible.
With a specific focus on brain function, how has the brain and its dominion over the body and beliefs been impacted by the societal construct?
We are not always in charge as we can be too impulsive or too deliberate for our own good. In a moment, more often than not, we can let our negative emotions get the better of us, and the next thing you know we are paralyzed by uncertainty which causes panic. We tend to fear what is coming next and that fear disrupts our everyday life as we make poor decisions. Uncertainty tends to weaken the body and mind’s natural immune system. Stagnation occurs and our body and minds are not working in a healthy fit and it disrupts the right way society should work as a whole to bring more satisfaction instead of dissatisfaction.
Do you think the way our society markets and advertises goods and services, has affected people’s feelings of satisfaction? Can you explain what you mean?
No, people are less satisfied as time goes by, because they are skeptical due the feasibility of what they are marketing as well as questioning the honesty of the products. For example, the mandatory of the jab of the Covid shot, coupled with adding more shots to prevent getting the virus brought dissention in our society. Realistically, the time it takes to develop a cure was way too soon. Some people had side effects, some didn’t, some got it despite their having had the disease, and very few talked about natural immunity. By doing this, the government put themselves in a position of dissidence. It brought a lot of dissatisfaction, and most of all fear to our society as well as questioning our government. Were the masks really preventing you from getting the disease or was somebody getting rich on the concept?
How is the wiring of the brain, body, and beliefs shaped by marketing, language, and how humans trade?
If you pound an idea into the human brain in a divided society, your brain doesn’t question and your mind simply believes it. If you are around this form of rational, you believe it is the only way to think. With this concept in mind, exercise doesn’t matter. If your mind isn’t challenged, your mind thinks that this is the only way of thinking. That is why the importance of critical thinking is essential.
I work in marketing so I’m very cognizant of this question. In your opinion, how do you think marketing professionals can be more responsible for how their advertising shapes humans’ health and experience of happiness overall?
They should be able to be role models in what they are marketing. Walk your walk, talk your talk. Be truthful and accurate with what you are marketing. I would rather see someone who is an ordinary person that has success in using a product rather than a notable celebrity representing a product so that the person you are selling it to feels more connected with. Believe in your product and make sure that it will impact the people to feel the satisfaction in what you intended it to achieve.
For you personally, if you have all your basic needs met, do you feel you have enough in life?
In essence, yes. However, my personality is constructed in a manner that I will always want for more to improve myself and enlighten others. The depth of my make up is such that the more joyousness I discover in myself, it makes me feel so satisfied and complete. This to me is more valuable than the materialistic things in life. Peace and contentment stems from your own appreciation of your self- worth.
Okay, fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview: Can you share with our readers your “5 things we can each do to address the feeling of not having enough.” Please share a story or example for each.
1) Surround yourself with loving and supportive people. — When you are surrounded with this pattern of energy it promotes a nurturing society.
2) Exercise to maintain a healthy body and mind. — This opens up your mind to not only to feel good about yourself but to also look fit.
3) Give an act of kindness. — Not only will you have helped someone in need but you will also feel good about yourself. This will encourage others to follow your lead. It stimulates a nurturing society.
4) Focus on the process rather than the results. — Too often we miss the essence of important things that occur when we are going through the process. We tend to focus on the end result.
5) Keep a user- friendly journal. — It is important to document all the positive things that you have accomplished as this cancels the negative feelings that can creep into your thoughts.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have inspired you to live with more joy in life?
The resources I have are from a couple of things. When I do my run on the trails, a teen- age boy yells, “Grandma you’re killing it,” and another remarks, “I visualize that I am doing what you do.” By their voices bellowing out compliments, that in itself bring me such joy in its worthiness in gold. Why? Because it translates that physical activity is important and that I have made an impact that they will follow my suit. I also like the book Chicken Soup For The Soul because it highlights in shorts stories to inspire one to rekindle their spirit to open up the heart.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Share joy with others.
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
BonnieFrankel.com, Facebook, LinkedIn, google Bonnie Frankel
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity.
I Can’t Get No Satisfaction: Bonnie Frankel On Why So Many Of Us Are Feeling Unsatisfied & What We… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.