I Can’t Get No Satisfaction: Author Rebecca Kirk On Why So Many Of Us Are Feeling Unsatisfied & What We Can Do About It
An Interview With Drew Gerber
Develop an abundance mindset. This means having the sense that there is more than enough to go around and tapping into the flow of the Universe. When you recognise the Universe as the Source of everything and you trust in this flow, it can ease any feelings of not having enough. You can practice this by getting out into nature where there is so much abundance — be that the grass, the trees, the birds, the ocean, the rain or even the sky. And consciously opening yourself up to receive from the Universe.
From an objective standpoint, we are living in an unprecedented era of abundance. Yet so many of us are feeling unsatisfied. Why are we seemingly so insatiable? What is going on inside of us that is making us feel unsatisfied? What is the brain chemistry that makes us feel this way? Is our brain wired for endless insatiable consumption? What can we do about it? In this interview series, we are talking to credentialed experts such as psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, brain science experts, as well as spiritual and religious leaders, and mind-body-spirit coaches, to address why so many of us are feeling unsatisfied & what we can do about it.
As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Rebecca Kirk.
Rebecca Kirk is a spiritual career coach, guiding people who are at a crossroads in their career, or those who feel unfulfilled in their jobs, towards a deeper understanding of their purpose. She uses her own experience of changing careers and spiritual journey to help people who feel stuck find the courage and conviction they need to make more favourable choices, rather than repeating the same patterns. Rebecca recently wrote her first book, You’re Here for a Reason, which is being released in September.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to know how you got from “there to here.” Inspire us with your backstory! What lessons would you share with yourself if you had the opportunity to meet your younger self?
Mostly to worry less and to trust more. I would also tell my younger self that it is ok to tread your own path — don’t worry if you don’t feel like you fit in with the crowd. Celebrate that and stay true to yourself.
None of us are able to experience success without support along the way. Is there a particular person for whom you are grateful because of the support they gave you to grow you from “there to here?” Can you share that story and why you are grateful for them?
My brother has been a rock for me over the past 13 years ever since I left my last job in the corporate world. Alongside providing me with a place to stay on my career break in Sydney back in 2010, he has supported me in creating a thriving coaching business which has brought me such immense joy. He has given his time and energy freely. His positive energy and entrepreneurial spirit have made me look up from my narrow view of the world and expand my scope of vision. He has (and still is) enabling me to play a bigger game.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think it might help people?
In September I will be launching my first book called ‘You’re Here for a Reason’. It is a practical and spiritual guide to help people align with their purpose and awaken their career. And a direct response to the age-old question ‘why am I here?’ It offers potentially life-changing solutions to this question and a way for people to navigate a career crossroads and ultimately find more fulfillment in their working lives. It is intended to enable people to transform their working lives and discover true fulfillment. I will also be launching a group coaching programme to compliment the book in 2024.
Ok, thank you for sharing your inspired life. Let’s now talk about feeling “unsatisfied”. In the Western world, humans typically have their shelter, food, and survival needs met. What has led to us feeling we aren’t enough and don’t have enough? What is the wiring? Or in other words, how has nature and nurture played into how humans (in an otherwise “safe and secure” environment) experience feeling less than, or a need to have more than what is needed for basic survival?
I believe that at our very core (our true nature), we are enough. And we have the potential to be deeply satisfied from within, but society places a disproportionate amount of emphasis on our outer experience of enough (related to tangible things such as products, appearance, money), often at the expense of our inner experience of enough (feeling contented, at peace, fulfilled). I also believe that feeling we aren’t enough or don’t have enough (beyond our basic needs being met) is largely a result of the tendency to compare. Technology, advertising and the media play a huge role in facilitating the habit of comparison. We now have an instant portal into other peoples’ lives which can trigger feelings of lack and not having enough — be that time, ability, material things, love or status.
Do you think the way our society markets and advertises goods and services, has affected people’s feelings of satisfaction? Can you explain what you mean?
Yes, to some extent, when there is an underlying message that your life will be better or happier when you have a particular product or service. And, conversely, your life will be lacking in some way without it. With the advent of social media, we are all more exposed to advertising than at any point in history, so I think inevitably it will be increasingly affecting people’s feelings of satisfaction. Equally, I believe we all have to take responsibility for whether we buy into a particular piece of advertising and where we choose to derive satisfaction from — that is, from external or internal sources of satisfaction. That is largely within everyone’s control.
How is the wiring of the brain, body, and beliefs shaped by marketing, language, and how humans trade?
Within advertising, the repetition of certain words, phrases, songs, colours and logos are all intended to leave an imprint in people’s mind which ultimately leads them to make a purchase. Marketing is usually directed to a specific target audience who will resonate with certain language, imagery, tone of voice etc. in order to create a connection. Sharing human stories or using certain people who an audience can relate to personally is hugely powerful in compelling people to buy a certain product or service. The brand Dove are good at doing this as they use ‘real people’ over models. Equally, many brands use aspiration as a way to compel their audience to buy, through use of celebrities or the depiction of a certain lifestyle.
I work in marketing so I’m very cognizant of this question. In your opinion, how do you think marketing professionals can be more responsible for how their advertising shapes humans’ health and experience of happiness overall?
To be more honest about the side effects of the product being advertised and more informative of any potential negative consequences. I recently saw a Double Big Mac being advertised which made me question whether there should be health warnings on such adverts, similar to those on cigarette packets, in order to help curb the obesity problem. However, I think this is as much about there being more consciousness around the types of products which are created in the first place rather than just being the responsibility of advertisers.
For you personally, if you have all your basic needs met, do you feel you have enough in life?
I remember being on a career break back in 2010, living out of one small room in my brother’s apartment in Sydney and feeling like I actually had more than when I was working, earning and surrounded by lots of stuff. Being right next to the sea was very nourishing and I had total freedom to just ‘be’. I was also going through a spiritual awakening — partly because I had so little external stuff to distract me. I had no job or relationship at the time but I had a bed and some simple belongings, enough money to get by and I remember feeling blissful. After my basic needs have been met, to me, feeling content and peaceful is not just ‘enough’. It’s the ultimate.
Okay, fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview: Can you share with our readers your “5 things we can each do to address the feeling of not having enough.”
- Practice gratitude for the things you do have. This includes seemingly simple things such as the roof over your head, the food you eat, the people in your life, your senses. You can write these things in your journal each day or recall them in bed as you fall asleep. It can also help to be mindful of all the people who have less than you. Giving gratitude will raise your vibration (the energy frequency you project) in an instant. A higher vibration will also enable you to attract more into your life as you come into resonance with other things of a higher vibration — be that people, opportunities or abundance.
- Consider what the word ‘enough’ actually means to you. List what you feel you truly need in order to be happy or satisfied. Now consider what things you don’t feel you have enough of. For each of those things, ask yourself why you want that thing. What difference will it make in your life? And also how might striving for those things be impacting you?
- Stop comparing your life and what you have to that of others. One simple way of doing this is to spend less time on social media. Even just 10 minutes each day will add up to over an hour every week. See what effect this has on you and your feeling of not having enough. This is time which you could spend on finding more satisfaction from within through, for example, the practice of meditation. Meditation helps you turn down the noise of the outer world and connect with your true nature — that part of you which is innately worthy and doesn’t need anything adding to it in order to be happy or fulfilled. Create a nurturing space to meditate which allows you even just a few minutes to go within and simply enter the state of ‘being’ instead of ‘doing’ or ‘having’.
- Develop an abundance mindset. This means having the sense that there is more than enough to go around and tapping into the flow of the Universe. When you recognise the Universe as the Source of everything and you trust in this flow, it can ease any feelings of not having enough. You can practice this by getting out into nature where there is so much abundance — be that the grass, the trees, the birds, the ocean, the rain or even the sky. And consciously opening yourself up to receive from the Universe.
- Unearth any limiting belief you may have about being enough. For example, do you believe “I need more…followers/money/success in order to feel like I am enough”? Taking any such limiting beliefs out of your head and into the open by seeing them in black and white can provide a powerful wake-up call. You can then begin reframing such a belief into something more empowering such as “I am enough just as I am”. Repeating this as a daily mantra will begin the process of rewiring the brain and start to create a shift in your consciousness.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have inspired you to live with more joy in life?
I am a huge fan of Eckhart Tolle. His book ‘A New Earth’ has truly transformed my life and inspired me within my work. He has helped me understand the true meaning of joy and fulfillment at the deepest level. Also, I have been inspired by the work of Rebecca Campbell. Her book ‘Light Is The New Black’ and her online community have empowered me to pursue my own path with greater confidence and freedom.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
A movement which promotes more consciousness within the online world and helps raise the collective vibration of the planet. This would encompass such ideas as communicating things which come either from a place of love or a place of truth. And using social media to spread more light, more compassion, more empathy instead of a means to spread hatred, fear or any other low vibration states.
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
They can join my online community via my website at https://rebeccakirk.co.uk or connect with me through social media on: Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook. I have lots of free resources and ideas for anyone looking to find more purpose and satisfaction in their life. My book ‘You’re Here for a Reason’ is being released on September 23 and can be pre-ordered here: https://www.bannisterpublications.com/product-page/you-re-here-for-a-reason
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity.
I Can’t Get No Satisfaction: Author Rebecca Kirk On Why So Many Of Us Are Feeling Unsatisfied &… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.