Good leaders gain authority through skill, not by merely declaring themselves in charge. If I have a coach who has a track record of improving players’ abilities, I’ll listen and follow even when it’s hard. Also, that coach doesn’t need to have been a top athlete. There are lots of leaders who rise up because they got great at something (sports, sales, sober, etc.), but don’t know how to teach and transfer that experience. Leaders need to be good at connecting and improving people.
As a part of our series about “Heroes Of The Addiction Crisis” I had the pleasure of interviewing Daniel Hochman, the Founder of selfrecovery.org.
Daniel Hochman, M.D. is a board-certified Psychiatrist, and creator of a revolutionary online addiction recovery program, selfrecovery.org. His treatment philosophy cuts through the confusion around addiction, and has helped thousands of people solve their addiction puzzle.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a bit of your backstory?
Thanks for inviting me. When I started medical school, I was set on becoming an ER doctor. I was a volunteer firefighter and I thrived in that setting. Over time though, fixing the superficial issue got old. I wanted to treat the underlying reasons for people’s mistakes. Why is this person drunk driving when they know better? What did this person overdose when they knew better?
Like most people, I also have family and friends who have suffered with addiction, and tried my best to help but had no clue what I was doing. So towards the end of medical school I changed my path towards Psychiatry to get proper training in human behavior and psychology.
Is there a particular story or incident that inspired you to get involved in your work with drug and alcohol addiction?
There wasn’t one single incident that got me into this work, but I do look back at several pivotal experiences. I remember one patient in particular who was on his deathbed from a complication of alcohol. I had a long talk with him, and came to realize that routine advice was almost useless. It made me stop in my tracks and question something very basic: how do people change their behavior when they already know what to do? What the man needed was help addressing his underlying emotional pain, and he never got it. I’ve also been very fortunate to have studied under one of the greatest minds in addiction work, Dr. Jonathan Shedler, who got me even more fascinated by the field.
Can you explain what brought us to this place? Where did this epidemic come from?
We are all actually already wired for addiction. In fact it’s the biological basis for why we seek out necessary things to survive. It needs to feel good to pursue food, gather things in the effort of security, or have sex. The problem is we’ve manipulated our environment to get too much, too easily. We need to step back and appreciate how hard it would have been historically to get food or alcohol. It’s very new to have food, porn, pills, alcohol, and every vice available all around us. The new problem is to restrain from pleasure, which is a tragic luxury. You can of course find a number of problems that are more current, like fentanyl which has made opiates cheaper to produce. But the overall trajectory is a consequence of living in a time of abundant access. This is on top of other trends related to addiction, often around groups with extra hardships. We’ve seen that with displaced Native Americans, African Americans, soldiers, and most recently in the Appalachians where unemployment has left so many young people feeling aimless or shameful.
Can you describe how your work is making an impact battling this epidemic?
My work is just a small, small part of this fight. The biggest impact I try to make is in helping people understand how to think about addiction. Most patients I have are fighting hard, but they don’t know how to fight. They think “I just need to try harder,” but as you get more detailed, you see they’re swinging at the air. My approach resonates with people who sense there is a more thoughtful, psychology based strategy to fight. It’s opened opportunities for people who thought they’ve done it all, or nearly given up. But it’s also really gratifying to see Self Recovery help people avoid a long, drawn out battle. People are so relieved to realize not everyone needs to go to rehab, daily groups, or make a big show of things. It’s very possible for most people to privately learn how to think about addiction, and how to live a different way altogether.
Wow! Without sharing real names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted by your initiative?
Sure. Yesterday I got an email from an enrollee who decided to try Self Recovery but was skeptical it would be more of the same routine advice and motivation that hadn’t worked for her. She was so surprised to realize she had never been exposed to a more updated and proven approach. Her treatment never used science, and she said the links and references that back up every lesson helped her get behind what she was learning. She had blindly trusted that the help she got before was well researched, but only realizes now how much of it was fluff. She’s so relieved now, and living a totally different life.
Can you share something about your work that makes you most proud? Is there a particular story or incident that you found most uplifting?
What I’m proud of are the seeds I’m planting. I’m used to treating one patient at a time, and I love my practice but it’s very limited. When I got a thank you note from someone in Ghana, it made my eyes well up because I knew I had made something that reaches people the world ignores. We’re now in 26 countries, and it really is quite special knowing there are so many lives being lifted up who would have gone through potentially endless misery.
Can you share three things that the community and society can do to help you address the root of this problem? Can you give some examples?
The first and biggest thing we can do is to think of addiction as a signal of that person’s inner struggle. Instead of calling it a moral failure or a lack of willpower, we should cut through the noise of the outward mistakes and learn what troubles them. Don’t tell them how wrong they are. Ask what’s wrong. So if, for example, your spouse is caught in the spiral of addiction with deceit and disconnection, don’t make the entire focus their addiction. Leave some space to reach them where they will be more receptive around their inner struggle.
We can also change things by not getting caught up with the word addiction or addict. I can tell you firsthand how many people that turns away from getting help. It doesn’t really matter what we call it. If you struggle with something then you struggle with something. Keep it simple. One way to practice this is by just using plain English, and being as specific as possible. So instead of saying “I think you’re an addict,” say “I’ve noticed you’re staying out later and later when you go out.”
The third thing we can all do is openly work together on how to practice restraint in a world of excess. This helps to make the challenge of vices and addictions a normal discussion that’s helpful for everyone to think about. That also helps to not scapegoat people with addiction. Restraint is a theme that can be interesting and fun to talk about, yet has a profound impact in helping us gain mastery over ourselves.
If you had the power to influence legislation, which three laws would you like to see introduced that might help you in your work?
I’ve been encouraged to see progress towards constructive legislation. Crimes should have some consequence, but what helps most is to shift from criminalization to a treatment-oriented approach. That’s been shown to be the best strategy to prevent repeat offenses. It’s a win-win where it’s a more forgiving approach that also makes everyone safer.
We also know that contingency programs work, where there are incentives to staying clean. Study after study reveals that positive reward works better than punishment. That’s hard for some people to agree to since it looks like we’re rewarding criminals. But the alternative is a revolving door where everyone suffers more.
The most preventive thing we can do is form stronger neighborhood community hubs. When I say that, I think of local centers where children have a safe and fun place to learn and play. The more kids feel a sense of belonging and security from friends and skills, the fewer problems they develop.
I know that this is not easy work. What keeps you going?
This work honestly doesn’t drain me. The work is difficult, but not depleting. I think it’s that way for me because I’m so curious and intrigued by the human mind and behavior. When I’m working with patients, it’s not my job to carry their burden. I’m sitting with them in their struggle, working together to follow the curiosity and confusion (like “why do I do things that are so bad for me, even when I know better?”) until it’s solved. Some people can’t stop a video game or put down a book because they want to know what’s next. I’m that way with people’s stories and why they do what they do.
Do you have hope that one day this issue can be defeated?
I do think we can collectively get better and better at finding reward in longer term pleasures, and designing experiences to promote that. But I don’t think of addiction as something we can defeat because it’s in our nature to turn outside of ourselves to regulate our emotions. We’ll always be tempted by vices, distractions, and shortcuts to feeling good. To me it’s about reaching a state where restraint is empowering, not boring. That’s an ongoing challenge everyone, including myself, will always face.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
Good leaders gain authority through skill, not by merely declaring themselves in charge. If I have a coach who has a track record of improving players’ abilities, I’ll listen and follow even when it’s hard. Also, that coach doesn’t need to have been a top athlete. There are lots of leaders who rise up because they got great at something (sports, sales, sober, etc.), but don’t know how to teach and transfer that experience. Leaders need to be good at connecting and improving people.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why. Please share a story or example for each.
There’s so much to learn in this field. It’s important to know that it’s impossible to come out of the gates fully equipped to treat a problem with such significance, danger, and complexity. The singular thing that would have been helpful to know at the start is that addiction is what happens on the surface, and underneath it is a story of psychological or emotional suffering. What that does is take away the usual frustrations that come up on both sides. On the patient side, it helps us not get so upset if you give them advice and they can’t follow through. On the therapist end, it helps us not feel like a failure for not coming up with the right tricks and tools. Besides that, the rest are details. Focus on discovering the underlying struggles, create the space to talk about hard life problems, and be patient and curious about how to work through them. In my experience this removes shame, guilt, frustration, and distraction that can make both sides exhausted and bogged down.
If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
The larger movement needed is for people to return to tight, local communities. Life has become so fragmented, driving to work or school, then communicating remotely, often spending time with our own unique interest. The freedoms we have created bring us so many choices and options, but at a cost. For example, we see kids getting shuttled across the city for an activity that they picked, but at the cost of time connecting with what’s right around. Sometimes giving some optionality up in the service of belonging and security can be worth it. It’s what we all crave in the end.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Insecurity is the result of trying to be secure” — Alan Watts.
This has always helped remind me that it’s our grasp for more that generates our suffering. At almost any point I notice inner distress, I can usually trace it to the fact that I’m trying in some silly way for something to do with security. The minute I try to be well liked is the minute I’ll get just the opposite. It has a nice way of keeping us honest.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
It would be amazing to sit down with Sam Harris and talk about life. I think he’s one of the brighter minds alive today because he masterfully bridges several domains into well formed philosophies. The most timeless and relevant truths are ones that are proven out across disciplines and scenarios, and he inspires that.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
Thanks for having me! You can find me at:
Website: https://www.selfrecovery.org/
FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/Selfrecoveryhealth
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfrecoveryhealth/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielhochmanmd/
This was very meaningful, thank you so much!
How Daniel Hochman of SelfRecovery Is Helping To Battle One of Our Most Serious Epidemics was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.