Highly Effective Networking: JL Heather Of Centered On 5 Strategies for Successful Networking, Both Online and Offline
An Interview With Athalia Monae
Get involved. Give a speech, host a workshop, lead an event. Whatever you do, participate in and contribute to events in your field even when it’s in addition to your day job.
The art of networking is pivotal in today’s interconnected world. Establishing meaningful connections can accelerate career growth, foster collaborations, and create opportunities that might otherwise remain hidden. Yet, the dynamics of networking are intricate, often requiring a nuanced blend of authenticity, strategy, and adaptability. And with the digital revolution, networking has transcended beyond face-to-face interactions to virtual platforms, expanding its scope and complexity. In this series, we would like to discuss the art and science behind effective networking. We are talking to seasoned professionals, career coaches, networking experts, and thought leaders who’ve mastered both traditional and online networking techniques. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing JL Heather.
JL has spent 20 years working in organizational transformations and has discovered the #1 path to real change and improvement was through helping leaders rise to the challenge of their role. For the last 5 years he has been coaching senior and executive leaders throughout the world, across industries, and at companies from small to huge.
He is a CPCC certified through the Coactive Training Institute
He holds the ACC (Associate Certified Coach) credential through the ICF (International Coaching Federation)
He is Leadership Circle Profile (LCP) Certified
He has hundreds of hours of coaching experience with senior to executive leaders
He has 20 years of experience applying lean/agile principles to leadership, organizations, and processes
JL is also a passionate and skilled facilitator who creates safe spaces for teams and leaders to tackle organizational, product, or interpersonal issues and co-create solutions.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about networking, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I started my career with a computer science degree, and I went that way because I felt like I understood computers better than people. I spent a few years being a severely overworked software engineer and came to the realization that I needed to understand business, so I spent a couple years studying in the evening to get an MBA. That helped me become a severely overworked manager of a team or two of developers. Throughout all of this I read book after book about people. For whatever reason, it wasn’t until I moved into the agency world and started working on larger clients (Ford, Walmart, Navistar, Wendy’s, Walgreens, and others) that I realized what I was most interested in was the people, and more specifically the leaders.
It was clear that everywhere you looked, the same problems kept popping up and they weren’t process, technology, or organizational problems. The root cause always seemed to be the leadership.
So, my business partner and I started carving out a small internal Agile transformation office in the agency we were in at the time and started working with internal and external leaders. During one of these engagements one leader, I was working with pulled me aside and asked if I was considering coaching full time. She had worked with some executive coaches in the past and felt that the coaching I was doing was at the very least on par with the best coaches she had seen.
That’s when it clicked. I’d never considered coaching before, and it was her question that sent me down the path of certification and brought me to start Centered. Since then, I’ve never had more fun and felt more fulfilled at work. Looking back, it seems obvious, but I’ve heard you can only connect the dots looking backwards (thanks Steve Jobs!).
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I was working with a team of leaders at a pretty large company in the automotive space, and they were really struggling to connect. They were in a tough place with high pressure and low trust, and it was manifesting as conflicting goals to their teams. I was brought in to help them find some ways to connect and get back on track.
As part of this, we set up a leadership team building workshop with a variety of activities designed to create safety, allow vulnerability, and build trust. Basically, to build a foundation we could work with. One of those activities, and one of my favorites, was what I call a “Listening Walk”. It’s not my invention, and I’ve never been able to figure out whose idea it is to give them credit, but it works like this:
- Everyone pairs up, typically with someone they are struggling with.
- Each pair goes for a 20-minute walk, 10 minutes out and 10 minutes back.
- On the way out one person talks about a given prompt (something relevant to the workshop or effort) and the other person listens. The listener can only ask questions to understand, no solutions, no judgement, just listening.
- On the way back the roles switch.
In this instance the pushback was strong! There was no way they could talk for 10 minutes. Just listening was a waste of time. On and on, but in the end, they agreed to try so they headed out.
As people came back into the room, I noticed all the stunned faces and I was worried the exercise had been a complete failure. I asked how it went and what I heard was transformational!!
10 minutes wasn’t enough!
I’ve never been listened to like that!
I never realized how little I was listening and how much I’d learn when I did listen fully!
On and on.
It really showed the power of being heard and of listening. When both happen, a magical connection is made, and people just aren’t the same afterwards.
I don’t believe in silver bullets, but this exercise is as close as I’ve found.
You are a successful business leader. Which three-character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
- Curiosity — There’s too many examples to pick just one, but if there has been one key to my success it’s been my curiosity. It’s led me to many eye-opening books, people, and discussions. It’s helped me form meaningful relationships. It’s made me a good (I hope!) coach. At every point where I reinvented myself or my career, it was my curiosity that was in the drivers seat and that’s led me down a path in increasingly fulfilling roles.
- Authenticity — I think as a coach and an entrepreneur, my authenticity helps me connect. As a coach, it helps create the safe space that lets me push my clients further than they thought they could go. As an entrepreneur, it’s been invaluable in connecting with people, understanding their needs, and collaboratively finding solutions.
- Perseverance — My career started as a somewhat unhappy software engineer. I’ve seen many people start the same way and 10+ years later be in the same place. Perseverance isn’t about single moments, it’s about the never-ending search and evolution of you and your life. It’s been the fuel that makes my curiosity and authenticity effective.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that we are all on the same page. How exactly do you define “Networking?” Is it just about meeting new people?
There are two sides to networking.
There is the used car salesman, approaching people to see how he can use them or how they could serve him. It’s very transactional, rarely dips below skin deep, and leaves everyone feeling less than they were when it started. People who talk about how they hate networking are talking about this side of networking. I’ve been here, and it was soul-sucking, often led nowhere, and rarely led to a second conversation.
The other side, how I approach networking, is 100% about connection. I’m a firm believer that if you connect strongly to a diverse group of passionate individuals you don’t have to ask for or push for anything, the value happens naturally.
Do some research, show up curious, and listen for all you’re worth. By the end, that person will feel so heard and seen they will be eager to chat again, and chances are they will also reciprocate with their own curiosity. Don’t leave a good connection without setting up a time to chat next.
In today’s digital age, how important is face-to-face networking, and how do you balance it with online networking?
The reality is, you are always going to get a better connection when you’re physically together. That’s the only time you are communicating and listening on all channels. Facial expressions, body language, word choice, all the different sources of information in a conversation. That doesn’t even account for the environment, which when well chosen, heightens the experience and deepens the connection.
So, face-to-face is incredibly important!! I’ll drive an hour out of my way to be in person. I’ll rearrange travel plans to create in-person opportunities. It’s that important.
But sometimes it’s not an option, and in that case, only that case, fire up a solid internet connection and send out that video conference link.
The only other caveat I’ll add, virtual is far more acceptable the more well-established the relationship is. So, if it’s your third or fourth connection, a video call isn’t so bad.
How do you maintain and nurture professional relationships over time, both in person and online, to ensure they remain fruitful and mutually beneficial?
Network in person but build connections across channels.
There is this concept of Penguin Pebbling that I love. The idea is that penguins give their mates small pebbles to help them build their nest and to show their affection. In people, pebbling takes on a different role. I send my wife “micro-communications” throughout the day to show her I’m thinking of her, because I am. I send my networking connections links and helpful information throughout the months and years to show I value them and understand their needs.
To simplify, connect in person a few times a year, connect meaningfully through other channels (social, email, etc.) a couple times a month.
How important is personal branding when it comes to successful networking, and how can individuals develop and maintain a strong personal brand both online and in person?
A personal brand can be important, but I’ve found that it usually just gets in the way of your authenticity. People focus so much on their personal brand they become one-dimensional and transactional.
Get a good coach, learn who you are, and work on being authentic. Understand your vision and values, and make sure the way you live your life is aligned.
If you do that not only, will you be authentic which will help you connect, build trust, and just be happy; it will also help you be consistent which will look a lot like a personal brand without all the extra heart ache.
Another way to say it, your personal brand becomes effortless and all the energy you were devoting to “be” your brand can now be devoted to building.
What is your advice for young professionals who are just starting to build their network? How can they effectively reach out to and connect with experienced leaders in their field?
The best thing young professionals can be doing is finding strong mentors and/or champions. This will appear below as part of the “5 strategies” but I cannot stress enough how big an effect a strong mentor and/or champion will have on your career and in helping you make connections you just can’t make on your own to jump-start your network.
Don’t be afraid to ask someone to be your mentor. Do your research first and have good answers as to why this is a valuable relationship for them as well as you. Why are you worth the investment of their time?
As the mentoring relationship grows feel free to ask questions about who else you should know or meet. Mentors are almost always willing to help you make connections and build a strong network.
Lastly, it’s okay to have a few mentors, so don’t feel restricted.
Do you prioritize quality or quantity of connections? How do you determine when to invest more time in a particular relationship?
Quality. Every. Time.
When it comes to your connections, connecting deeply with one great person is worth hundreds of light connections to others.
I look for chemistry, do we connect easily and is that connection fun or fulfilling?
I also look for other networkers, even if they are just starting out. This gives networking a multiplicative effect.
I look for the curious. If I talk to someone for 30 minutes and only hear about them and what they are doing, then chances are it’s not going to be mutually beneficial. The best connections are the ones where after 30 minutes we are finishing each other’s sentences because we’ve found a common thread connecting us.
Notice I didn’t say anything about successful, powerful, super connected, or anything like that. Networking is a long game and some of the people you meet early in your career will become some (or all of those things). That said, if the first three boxes are checked and the person, I’m talking to is successful, powerful, or super connected it doesn’t hurt.
What are your “5 Strategies for Successful Networking, Both Online and Offline”? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.
It’s the same as the advice I’d give people just starting out
- Work on yourself first. It’s your foundation and it will drive your ability to be authentic and to connect in meaningful ways. This will pay dividends in networking and life.
- Find a good coach. There’s a reason every professional sports team has a coach and there is a reason so many successful executives have one as well.
- Journal. Journaling is a great way to process your thoughts and emotions as well as consolidate your learnings. Study after study has shown the power of journaling to promote personal and professional growth.
2. Find mentors and champions. Not only will this be GREAT for your career, but good mentors and champions will help you meet the people you wouldn’t think to meet or couldn’t meet. Don’t be afraid to ask the people you respect to be your mentor.
3. Get out there. Go to professional events in your chosen field, get curious, and listen a lot. That alone will make you stand out and get people’s attention.
- It can be a lot more comfortable talking to people you don’t know when you have the support of knowing they are there for a shared interest already. Professional events are like social mixers for networkers.
- Listening to other professionals present gives you an opportunity to find others who have common passions. It’s a great way to look for chemistry in a connection.
4. Get involved. Give a speech, host a workshop, lead an event. Whatever you do, participate in and contribute to events in your field even when it’s in addition to your day job.
- When you speak at a conference, not only are you developing a critical skill, public speaking, but you’re sending out a message about who you are which will resonate with the right people and often leads to great connections.
- Facilitating anything, workshop or event, is a great way to practice and demonstrate your leadership. It will be tough but rewarding.
5. Remember people — especially their name. You have a smart phone, I know you do, and you can take notes (discretely) to ensure you remember people. Connect with them on LinkedIn to help and then you can connect further by interacting with them on a different channel.
- This feeds into that idea that people won’t remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel. The simple act of remembering people makes them feel seen in a way that’s hard to describe.
- I remember being in the Detroit airport and running across Jon Cook, the CEO of VML, and he stopped me to say hi and check in. Not only did he know that I, one person in thousands, worked at his company, but he also remembered me and took the time to hear about what I was working on. That was powerful.
What role does diversity and inclusion play in your networking approach? How do you ensure that your network is inclusive and represents a broad range of perspectives and backgrounds?
The first and easiest answer is I focus on meeting people in diverse and inclusive places. If you’re always surrounded by people who look, sound, and act like you it’s time to find new places. This might mean a new job, different events/conferences, or a new place for lunch. You won’t grow up surrounded by a sea of sameness.
Secondly, I try to find people who very specifically don’t think like me and with different backgrounds and perspectives that give them a view that differs from mine. One easy example of this for me is how I approach the news. It’s painful, but I make a very concerted effort to find articles that explore the opposing side of issues and read them completely and take time to seriously consider them. That exposure to differing thoughts, perspectives, and experiences makes me a more empathetic, educated, and understanding person, parent, and professional.
Lastly, I go global whenever I can. I try to find ways to meet people from other cultures and locales whenever possible. I make an effort to find clients in other countries, and I’ll take a pay cut to do it so I can experience a small bit of a new culture and perspective. This helps me bring the best and most well-rounded thoughts and experience into any engagement.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
There is this activity I do with leadership teams, it’s called the listening walk, I mentioned it earlier. The way it works is there is a prompt to guide the conversation, and the pair walks 10 min out and 10 min back. On the way out, one person talks about the prompt and the other person listens or asks clarifying questions. There is no solutioning, no judgement, only 100% pure listening. On the way back they switch roles.
Every time I hear things like “I can’t possibly talk for 10 min” or “I don’t know what to ask”. Hundreds of excuses over the years. Still, they go on the walk.
Every time they come back, I hear 10 min wasn’t enough, I’ve never been listened to like that, it was surreal to not have to worry about fixing it… on and on.
It’s a powerful experience when done with the right prompt.
My movement would be that everyone does a listening walk with someone important in their life and someone they don’t agree with every week. I think the world would be a significantly better place with all that practice listening.
How can our readers further follow you online?
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jlheather/
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you continued success in your great work!
About the Interviewer: Athalia Monae is a product creator, published author, entrepreneur, advocate for Feed Our Starving Children, contributing writer for Entrepreneur Media, and founder of Pouches By Alahta.
Highly Effective Networking: JL Heather Of Centered On 5 Strategies for Successful Networking, Both… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.