Growing Every Day: NY Times & USA TODAY Bestselling Author Michelle M Pillow On What We Can Do To Grow Every Day
An Interview With Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Embrace Curiosity: Always be curious. Whether it’s about people, places, or things, curiosity keeps your mind active and open to new experiences. When I began studying social anthropology, it changed how I looked at storytelling and world-building, opening up new avenues of creativity. Don’t be afraid to lose yourself in a book or a story. Escapism isn’t about running away from reality; it’s about giving your mind the space to process emotions in a safe environment. I’ve always believed that seeing ourselves through the lens of a different world can provide profound insight into our own lives.
Growth is an essential part of life, both personally and professionally. Every day presents an opportunity to learn, evolve, and become better versions of ourselves. But how do we seize these opportunities? How do successful writers, leaders, and influencers ensure they are constantly growing and improving? What daily habits, practices, or mindsets contribute to their continual growth? In this interview series, we are talking to authors, leaders, influencers, and anyone who is an authority about “What We Can Do To Grow Every Day”. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Michelle M. Pillow.
Michelle M. Pillow is a prolific NY Times & USA TODAY bestselling author with millions of books sold. Though she writes in many genres, she is best known for romance and fantasy. Fan favorites include the Qurilixen World (a multi-series collection), Order of Magic series, and Warlocks MacGregor series. Visit her at MichellePillow.com.
Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up in a family that encouraged creativity and curiosity. Books were always a part of my life, and I was an avid reader from a young age. I would get lost in the stories, imagining different worlds and characters. Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice sparked my interest in history when I was in high school, and Steinbeck’s Travels with Charley sparked an anthropological fascination for learning about other cultures and ways of life. My upbringing encouraged me to see the world through a creative lens. These early experiences instilled in me a love for storytelling, which later became the foundation of my career. I’m always searching for new ways to tell a story, whether it is set in a futuristic universe or rooted in the complexities of human history.
Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?
I’m a New York Times Bestselling author known for series like Merely Mortal, Order of Magic, Warlocks MacGregor, and Dragon Lords. I’ve written over 100 novels across various genres, but it’s in paranormal romance, science fiction romance, and upmarket women’s fiction that I’m most known for. I have the best job in the world. I get to make things up for a living.
I’ve always had a deep love for the written word and an innate desire to create worlds that combine the magic and supernatural with human emotions. Stories have the power to transport us, and writing is my way of sharing that experience with others.
My career took shape as I began to explore multiple genres, blending romance, fantasy, and supernatural elements in ways that allowed me to explore complex emotions and the human experience.
Thank you for all that. Let’s now turn to the main focus of our discussion about Personal Growth. To make sure that we are all on the same page, let’s begin with a simple definition. What does “Personal Growth” mean to you?
Personal growth, to me, is about becoming a more authentic version of yourself every day. It’s about constantly evolving, whether as a person, a writer, or a creative. It’s about pushing past your comfort zones, learning from both successes and failures, and finding ways to evolve in a way that’s true to who you are.
As a storyteller, growth also means pushing the boundaries of my imagination — whether it’s creating a more complex world, writing in a new genre, or exploring deeper emotional truths in my characters. It’s important to me that my characters mirror that journey of growth, often facing challenges that lead them to learn something new about themselves, just as we do in life.
Growth isn’t a one-time achievement; it’s an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-improvement.
Why do you believe that it’s important to commit to growing every day?
Growth keeps us moving forward, both personally and professionally. It’s the fuel that drives creativity, passion, and purpose. When you commit to growing, you’re embracing the idea that you’re never done learning — that there’s always more to discover about yourself, the world, and others. This mindset opens up endless possibilities and ensures that you’re continuously evolving and not stagnating.
As an author, growth is part of my creative process. Every day is an opportunity to explore new ideas, challenge myself with different writing styles, or dig deeper into the emotions of my characters. Beyond writing, personal growth allows us to be more empathetic, understanding, and open to the world around us. It’s a commitment to never settling, always striving to be better — for yourself and for others.
What are the key upsides for those who mindfully engage in a journey of personal evolution?
The main upside is that you become more in tune with yourself and your purpose. Mindful personal growth gives you clarity about what you want in life, deepens your relationships with others, and makes you more resilient in the face of challenges. You also become more adaptable and open to new opportunities because you’re constantly learning and evolving.
It opens you up to new perspectives, helping you make more meaningful contributions in your work. For me, writing is a way to explore these facets of growth, both for myself and my readers. Engaging in personal growth helps you become more resilient, adaptable, and open to opportunities that might otherwise pass you by. It also fuels creativity, keeping ideas fresh and exciting, which is critical in my line of work.
When we stop evolving in intentional ways, what do you think are the biggest downsides?
The biggest downside of not evolving is stagnation. That’s when you get a sense of being stuck — creatively, personally, or professionally. When we stop pushing ourselves, we lose the spark that drives us forward, and that can lead to feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, and even resentment. You also miss out on opportunities to expand your horizons, meet new people, and experience life fully.
The beauty of growth is that it keeps life fluid and exciting. Without it, we lose that sense of curiosity and wonder.
What specific practices, if any, do you have in place to ensure that you don’t become stagnant in life?
I believe in keeping an open mind and actively seeking inspiration in all its forms. I make a point to read widely across different genres, and I’m always learning from other authors, artists, and creatives. Traveling and experiencing new cultures is also important to me — it helps me see things from different perspectives and keeps my mind engaged.
I also make a point of stepping outside my comfort zone in my writing. That’s how series like Merely Mortal came to life — I wanted to explore themes of belonging and identity in a first-person narrative style.
Is there any particular area of your life where you are most committed to growth (e.g., spiritually, professionally, socially, internally, relationally)?
Professionally, I am constantly pushing myself to write better, deeper, and more meaningful stories. Writing different genres and exploring new storytelling techniques keeps me challenged. But beyond that, I am committed to growth in my personal relationships. Whether it’s nurturing connections with family, friends, or even readers, I believe that our relationships shape much of who we are. I aim to bring the same empathy and understanding to my characters that I do to my personal life. Growing in my relationships also means being open to feedback and willing to grow alongside the people I care about.
If you could offer five tips to readers on how to stimulate and perpetuate self-growth, what would they be?
1 . Embrace Curiosity: Always be curious. Whether it’s about people, places, or things, curiosity keeps your mind active and open to new experiences. When I began studying social anthropology, it changed how I looked at storytelling and world-building, opening up new avenues of creativity. Don’t be afraid to lose yourself in a book or a story. Escapism isn’t about running away from reality; it’s about giving your mind the space to process emotions in a safe environment. I’ve always believed that seeing ourselves through the lens of a different world can provide profound insight into our own lives.
2 . Get Comfortable with Discomfort: Growth often happens when you step outside your comfort zone. When I first decided to blend historical and paranormal romance, it was both exhilarating and intimidating, but it helped me grow as a writer. That gothic romance, Forget Me Not (formerly The Mists of Midnight) ended up being my first book picked up by a publisher. I often challenge myself to explore new genres or themes in my writing, like shifting from paranormal romance to women’s fiction. It’s in that discomfort that we find real evolution.
3 . Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded People: Your circle plays a crucial role in your personal evolution. The people around you can either lift you up or hold you back. I’m fortunate to have friends like Mandy M. Roth, who constantly push me to improve. We brainstorm, we support each other, and that energy helps us grow. Our first books were published around the same time, and since then, we have hit several milestones in our careers and personal lives together. It’s important to have someone who understands your journey. I also have a creative ally with my filmmaker husband. He supports and challenges me to be better every day. I hope to do the same for him.
4 . Set Intentional Goals: Without clear goals, growth can feel aimless. Every year, I set both personal and professional goals, whether it’s finishing a book or learning a new skill. This gives me a sense of direction and accomplishment. Whether it’s through reading, traveling, or engaging in deep conversations, curiosity fuels growth. My passion for studying social anthropology opened up new ways of understanding the human experience, which enriches both my life and my writing.
5 . Reflect and Adapt: Failure isn’t the end — it’s part of the journey. Early in my career, I faced rejections like most writers do, but each ‘no’ taught me something new and ultimately led me to where I am today. It’s important to view setbacks as opportunities for learning. Take time to reflect. I like to take the time to process my thoughts. Sometimes, you’ll realize you need to adapt your approach or pivot, and that’s okay. Growth is fluid, not rigid.
What advice would you give to someone who feels stuck and unsure of how to start their personal growth journey?
Start small and be patient with yourself. Give yourself permission to be a beginner. Growth doesn’t happen overnight. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you’re unsure where to begin, but growth starts with small, intentional steps. Focus on one area of your life that you want to improve and make movement in that direction. Read, take a class, or simply journal about it. Celebrate small wins and keep moving forward. Don’t be afraid to fail — every misstep is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself.
Are there any books, podcasts, or other resources that have significantly contributed to your personal growth?
Steinbeck’s Travels with Charley has always resonated with me because it’s a journey through America, meeting different people and learning from them. The book in itself isn’t necessarily life-changing, but the idea behind it is. That search, the drive to learn and understand, it’s so powerful. I also enjoy working on documentary projects with my husband, as they inspire me to think differently about the world. Don’t limit yourself. Take any opportunity you can to learn and grow. Talk to people. Hear their stories. Go to museums. Read. Follow your interests down the rabbit hole. You never know what you’ll discover.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
There are several causes I support: mental health advocacy, animal shelters, food insecurity, and women’s rights. I think giving back to the community is important, and my family volunteers to help when we can.
Needless to say, I’m also very supportive of the creative community. I’d want to encourage people to embrace their creativity, no matter their age. So many people feel they’re too young, too old, too *insert your reason* to pursue their passions, whether it’s writing, painting, or anything else. But creativity is timeless, and it can be a powerful force for personal growth and community connection. I believe that everyone has a story to tell, and I’d love to help more people find the courage to share theirs.
Stories have the power to bring people together, foster empathy, and help us understand ourselves and others better. Everyone has a story to tell, and I think encouraging people to share theirs could create a more connected, compassionate world.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Facebook — https://facebook.com/AuthorMichellePillow
Twitter — https://twitter.com/MichellePillow
Instagram — https://instagram.com/michellempillow
YouTube — https://youtube.com/user/AuthorMichellePillow
TikTok — https://tiktok.com/@michellempillow
Website — https://michellepillow.com
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
Thank you for having me!
About The Interviewer: Dr. Carla Marie Manly — clinical psychologist, author, and advocate — is based in Sonoma County, California. In addition to her clinical practice focusing on relationships and personal transformation, Dr. Manly is deeply invested in her roles as podcaster and speaker. With a refreshingly direct and honest approach — plus a dose of humor — Dr. Manly enjoys supporting others in the ever-evolving journey of life. Her novel self-development paradigm builds resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-esteem. Highlighting the importance of loving connection, her work also focuses on helping others create deeply connected and satisfying intimate and social relationships. Working from a transformative model that honors the body-mind-spirit connection, Dr. Manly offers holistic relationship and wellness seminars around the world. An award-winning author, Dr. Manly’s books, The Joy of Imperfect Love, Date Smart, Joy from Fear, and Aging Joyfully highlight her empowering approach and profound expertise. Host of the captivating podcast, Imperfect Love, Dr. Manly offers uplifting guidance on navigating the messy road of life. Her expertise is also regularly cited in media outlets including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Forbes, Oprah, Newsweek, NBC, HuffPost, Reader’s Digest, Psychology Today, Parade, GQ, Women’s Health, Architectural Digest, Men’s Health, and more.
Growing Every Day: NY Times & USA TODAY Bestselling Author Michelle M Pillow On What We Can Do To… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.