Growing Every Day: Niccole Nelson Of Cracked Porcelain Consulting On What We Can Do To Grow Every Day
An Interview With Dr. Carla Marie Manly
Be intentional about your boundaries. Healthy boundaries keep you safe and clear on what you value, including yourself. These are not punishments for others involved. It is a clear standard that continues to help you keep your promises to yourself and at times, others.
Growth is an essential part of life, both personally and professionally. Every day presents an opportunity to learn, evolve, and become better versions of ourselves. But how do we seize these opportunities? How do successful writers, leaders, and influencers ensure they are constantly growing and improving? What daily habits, practices, or mindsets contribute to their continual growth? In this interview series, we are talking to authors, leaders, influencers, and anyone who is an authority about “What We Can Do To Grow Every Day”. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Niccole Nelson.
Niccole Nelson is an inspirational speaker, author, trauma and leadership coach helping women overcome childhood trauma that’s plagued them with shame and unworthiness to make a significant shift with clarity and faith. With her own unique lived experience Niccole brings a wealth of knowledge to provide mental and emotional restoration to support clients in navigating big change.
Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up and still live in Detroit Michigan. Raised by my single mother with two of my three brothers. My mom was my best friend. I loved her with all I was. I am the oldest and the only girl. My dad was not in my life very much growing up. I was an honor roll student and loved writing. English became my favorite subject. Unfortunately, my mom was forced to do heroin by a man she knew, and this took our lives down a road no one wanted to travel. I was placed in foster care along with my two brothers. I was taken right out my sixth-grade classroom. That morning, I kissed my mother goodbye for school and that night I was living with total strangers. We all went to separate homes so I didn’t know if I would ever see my family again. Fast forward maybe a year or less the social worker found my brothers living together in the same foster home on the other side of town. We were reunited when I was asked if I would want to move in with them in that home. I’m skipping a lot of details, but just know, one day that new foster parent overheard me and my brothers celebrating being back together and saying how we were a family. She lends over to where we were sitting and said “this is not a family this is a business”. We lived like it for eight years until she died. My mom came back into life by this time I was a mother myself and I was elated to find out she was clean and was the best grandmother and support system I could’ve prayed for. Then she was killed in a car crash in 2001. My dad loved my mom til the day she died despite never being married. Before my mom died, she made sure me and my dad stayed connected and I’m grateful. The relationship we have now brings so much joy to my life. Not to be labor this any further, I have overcome and prevailed in the face of adversity. There are several layers to my life and story which is why I wrote my book and do the work I do.
Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?
In 2023 I resigned from a twenty-eight-year postal career, my last nine years in management. In May of 2023 my book Bare was released which shares parts of my story growing up in foster care and adoption, some of my poetry and some lessons God taught me along the way. Overcoming my own traumatic childhood to thrive and experience joy daily brought about various conversations with friends, family members, colleagues and employees that would lead to some type of coaching or mentorship outside the scope of the titles that connected us. So, it was a natural progression from my personal curiosity of the human mind and emotions to a professional desire to support others on a healing journey that I had to take alone. I am also a community leader. As former Board President for a model CDC in my neighborhood I lead the organization to raise 20+ million dollars during my seven years as president. This is the same neighborhood where my former foster mother told me I wouldn’t amount to anything.
Thank you for all that. Let’s now turn to the main focus of our discussion about Personal Growth. To make sure that we are all on the same page, let’s begin with a simple definition. What does “Personal Growth” mean to you?
Personal growth to me is a combination of self-awareness and radical self-acceptance. Making mental and emotional investments daily in the person you want to become with grace, kindness, love and accountability.
Why do you believe that it’s important to commit to growing every day?
Self-betrayal is the worst betrayal. When we keep our promises to ourselves it sets the tone of how we allow others to treat us and enter our environment.
What are the key upsides for those who mindfully engage in a journey of personal evolution?
It’s the small investments we make daily that yield the big results we desire. More importantly the positively strong belief system we develop is the ROI on that investment. As we evolve this creates a ripple effect that pours into our relationships, career and community.
When we stop evolving in intentional ways, what do you think are the biggest downsides?
We become stagnant. Not only does this stop our progress, but we may also become ineffective in our various roles in life. The impact of this to our relational experiences has negative consequences.
What specific practices, if any, do you have in place to ensure that you don’t become stagnant in life?
I start my day with prayer, praise and asking God to alter my plans if they don’t line up with His.
Another practice of mine is what I playfully call “Happy Hour”. It’s when I fill my joy cup. I don’t do anything responsible (no adulting) for one hour every evening. This is a top boundary I have in place to keep me as a priority in my own life. I can take a nap, enjoy a dedicant dessert or just sit on the couch and wiggle my toes.
Is there any particular area of your life where you are most committed to growth (e.g., spiritually, professionally, socially, internally, relationally)?
Yes, spiritually and relationally. My faith has always been my source of strength and joy. Relationally I want to continue to deepen the bond with my children as well as being more intentional with my friendships and extended family.
If you could offer five tips to readers on how to stimulate and perpetuate self-growth, what would they be?
1 . Radical self-acceptance — this is not just a call to practice or enjoy self-care. It’s to decide who you want to be. Along with how you will show up for yourself and in the world.
2 . Forgiving yourself — This is a decision to take ownership and be accountable for the role you play in your own suffering and eliminate it.
3 . Communicate with a full emotional vocabulary. There is more to be said about how we feel in a moment than happy, glad, sad or mad. For example, “I love you” may be expressed deeper like “I value the way you care for me” or “I feel appreciated when you help the kids with their homework while I cook dinner”. Also, “I miss you” — You could be missing a version of that person that no longer exist. That may not be a compliment or term of endearment at that point.
4 . Be still — It’s one of my favorite ways to clear my mind, stay connected to God and my truest self. I do this some days during my “no screens” time. Two hours a day I don’t read from, listen to or use any devices that have a screen. Being unplugged not only limits distractions, it also eliminates excuses.
5 . Be intentional about your boundaries. Healthy boundaries keep you safe and clear on what you value, including yourself. These are not punishments for others involved. It is a clear standard that continues to help you keep your promises to yourself and at times, others.
What advice would you give to someone who feels stuck and unsure of how to start their personal growth journey?
I would invite them to do a brain dump. A free write exercise. No rules or limits, no editing of what comes up for them when asked what personal growth looks like for who they are and want to be in life. Then go about creating that environment. Peaceful environments are not always outside or physical places we go. The number one most valuable peaceful environment we should be working towards is within. Your heart, mind and soul come at a great cost when we hold on to unforgiveness our mind is cluttered and doesn’t honor our boundaries.
Are there any books, podcasts, or other resources that have significantly contributed to your personal growth?
Books — the Bible and The Four Agreements. Podcast — Myleik Teele. Resource — Insight Timer (app).
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would have an event where entry is dropping a piece of paper into a box anonymously of course, with one thing you want to leave at the door and not have to carry it home or alone. Then share some, if not all of the statements, needs and questions in the room to provide opportunities for community, solutions and resources to meet those needs.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
At my website www.niccolenelson.com there you can sign up for my newsletter. You may also purchase my book Bare and the companion journal. The book is also available wherever books are sold. You can listen to my podcast Mirrored Experience on Apple Podcast, Spotify, iHeart Radio and most other podcast platforms. On social media, be sure to spell my first name with 2 C’s Instagram is my favorite @niccolelnelson
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About The Interviewer: Dr. Carla Marie Manly — clinical psychologist, author, and advocate — is based in Sonoma County, California. In addition to her clinical practice focusing on relationships and personal transformation, Dr. Manly is deeply invested in her roles as podcaster and speaker. With a refreshingly direct and honest approach — plus a dose of humor — Dr. Manly enjoys supporting others in the ever-evolving journey of life. Her novel self-development paradigm builds resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-esteem. Highlighting the importance of loving connection, her work also focuses on helping others create deeply connected and satisfying intimate and social relationships. Working from a transformative model that honors the body-mind-spirit connection, Dr. Manly offers holistic relationship and wellness seminars around the world. An award-winning author, Dr. Manly’s books, The Joy of Imperfect Love, Date Smart, Joy from Fear, and Aging Joyfully highlight her empowering approach and profound expertise. Host of the captivating podcast, Imperfect Love, Dr. Manly offers uplifting guidance on navigating the messy road of life. Her expertise is also regularly cited in media outlets including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Forbes, Oprah, Newsweek, NBC, HuffPost, Reader’s Digest, Psychology Today, Parade, GQ, Women’s Health, Architectural Digest, Men’s Health, and more.
Growing Every Day: Niccole Nelson Of Cracked Porcelain Consulting On What We Can Do To Grow Every… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.