Fall in love with yourself. There are parts of you that have been dormant for years by default. Awaken passions, hobbies, interests, and feelings that you forgot existed! Nurture your mind and body, one moment, one step, one day at a time.
As a part of our series about the “5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce Or Breakup” we had the pleasure of interviewing Gina Levine Levy.
Gina Levine Levy is a former Emmy-nominated news and entertainment television producer turned realtor from New Jersey. With full abandon, Gina chronicled her first year of divorce in a remarkably raw and real video diary through her own private lens. After watching back her personal evolution from day 1 to day 365, Gina decided to share it forward publicly in an effort to empower divorcing women to walk “alone together” and to create a resource chain of support. In her three-part video series, My Digital Divorce Diary: A Year of Unbreaking, Gina reveals a very private grieving and healing process that is most often kept behind closed doors. The video exposes life-changing moments that shaped Gina’s transformation.
Gina is a proud, single mom of 3 wonderful, active boys who was partners with her ex-husband for 23 years, married for just short of 21 years. Her real estate business, which is also her passion, brings her all over New Jersey where she represents buyers, sellers, renters and investors. In her spare time, she is a freelance writer who loves running, tennis, boxing, yoga, traveling, chocolate, good wine and anything Rutgers.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to “get to know you.” Can you tell us a bit about how you grew up?
I grew up in a close family in the New Jersey suburbs with three siblings and two happily married parents. My parents were my biggest cheerleaders and supported any path I wanted to take.
Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I was always a writer, a people person, an out-of-the-box thinker and a creative spirit, so a career in television and now real estate were both natural fits for me. I have never been afraid to take risks and travel to achieve my goals, so I moved around the country to advance my TV career, and I am constantly hustling across New Jersey for my real estate clients.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
My two career paths have definitely collided throughout the years. When my new real estate clients read about my television career in my bio, they are often more interested in my Emmy nominations than the property itself. Ironically, when I worked in television, my favorite shows to produce involved real estate and home makeovers. I’ve had some full-circle moments that have certainly solidified both career paths I’ve chosen. My docuseries, My Digital Divorce Diary: A Year of Unbreaking, is another full-circle moment for me, as it’s been a way for me to organically share my experiences through video to help others navigate the same challenging and often isolating path.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting?
My first job in television was producing and reporting for a local television station. I was so motivated and excited that I didn’t realize I had to shoot and edit my own pieces. To meet my first deadline, I stayed up all night, alone at the station, and taught myself how to edit. There was no YouTube or Google — just me, an edit bay, some foreign-looking equipment, and a few tears. But I rose to the challenge! Fast forward 30 years, and I now edit my own real estate videos and was able to express my grief during my divorce through video as well. It’s definitely another full-circle moment!
Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
That was the first time I was challenged to accomplish the impossible, something completely foreign to me. At a young age, it taught me to have confidence in myself and my unlimited potential. It also encouraged me to go out of my comfort zone and take risks.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
I say it to my kids all the time: “No problems, just solutions.” In other words, don’t complain — fix it! I think outside the box to problem-solve, and it’s helped me in my career, my life, and my divorce. There is always a solution or a path forward, but sometimes it just takes longer to find.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
My Digital Divorce Diary: A Year of Unbreaking is not only my story but my passion project. In my first year of divorce, I was able to evolve from a place of emptiness to empowerment, and it’s a part of my journey that I know was meant to help others. My hope is that “sharing it forward” will immediately show divorcing women they are not alone in their journey. The end goal is to create a viable resource chain for the thousands of divorcing women who need it. For now, if seeing my story helps even one woman heal through this often traumatic process, it has done its job.
Thank you for that. Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Can you tell us a bit about your experience going through a divorce or helping someone who was going through a divorce? What did you learn about yourself during and after the experience? Do you feel comfortable sharing a story?
It’s interesting you ask about “helping someone who was going through a divorce.” Going through this very non-linear process, without my close circle of friends who had already been through it, would have been absolutely impossible. My circle of women elevated me, not only through the grief but also through the very overwhelming paperwork involved. You don’t know your own strength until it’s tested and this process tested me in ways I never thought possible — emotionally, mentally, cognitively and organizationally. I learned my own strengths and weaknesses, where I can stand on my own and where I can’t, and I wasn’t afraid to ask for help, which isn’t always easy. Selling my home in the midst of all of this was an emotional challenge that I met and exceeded on so many levels. I blazed through more in a few months than most do in a year and emerged a warrior.
In your opinion, what are the most common mistakes people make after they go through a divorce? What can be done to avoid that?
What I’ve learned from my year of living in this space is that many make emotional decisions throughout this process that may not benefit them in the end. One of the best things you can do for a friend in this situation is to be honest with them and snap them back into the reality of their situation so they don’t end up regretting how they led with emotion instead of empowerment. At the end of the day, divorce, in my opinion, is a business transaction and it’s important to protect yourself.
People generally label “divorce” as being “negative.” While there are downsides, there can also be a lot of positives that come from it as well. What would you say those are? Can you share an example or story?
Like any major life transition, there is always beauty that can come with change. The negative connotation that comes with divorce does not take into account the positivity of a second chance and all the wonderful potential that comes along with it. It could be a second chance at love, happiness, career, friendships, goals, passions, hobbies, and relationships. The challenge is getting past the fear, the “stigma,” and the mourning of what you thought your story was, and opening your mind to the endless possibilities that a new chapter can bring. Just watching my own evolution on video, from Day 1 to Day 365 of my divorce, was the most empowering experience I’ve ever had. Were it not for my divorce, I never would have experienced my own survival story and potential. I learned more about myself in my first year of divorce than in my first 51 years of life.
Some people are scared to ‘get back out there’ and date again after being with their former spouse for many years, especially after hearing dating horror stories. What would you say to motivate someone to start a new beginning?
I would say, “You literally have nothing to lose!” You are already independent, surviving, and thriving! So finding someone you enjoy spending time with should only be a bonus. You are in the driver’s seat of your life and can go any direction you choose! And there’s no rush — enjoy the process.
What is the one thing people going through a divorce should be open to changing?
Your mindset. Period. If you want to allow new experiences or new people into your life, you have to let go of old ways of thinking and explore new ones. Don’t give up your convictions or your non-negotiables, but try to be open to new experiences and types of people. Go try new things… or old things that you haven’t done in so long that they feel new!
If you had a close friend come to you for advice after a divorce, what are five things you would advise in order to survive and thrive afterward? Can you please give a story or example for each?
- Quality, not quantity, of relationships. I’ve always had many friends, but through this process, I’ve realized the importance of being surrounded by your people. Your circle loves you — don’t forget it!
- Fall in love with yourself. There are parts of you that have been dormant for years by default. Awaken passions, hobbies, interests, and feelings that you forgot existed! Nurture your mind and body, one moment, one step, one day at a time.
- Take control. Create a plan for each of the things that keep you up at night. It will relax your mind.
- Don’t rush the healing process. Allow yourself time to do all of the above. Give yourself the grace to sit with and accept the change. There is a world of beauty to discover!
- Talk. And talk. And talk. To a friend, a relative, a therapist, and of course, keep a video diary! My video diary became my lifeline! And please don’t be afraid to ask for help when and where you need it.
The stress of a divorce can take a toll on one’s mental and emotional health. In your opinion or experience, what are a few things people going through a divorce can do to alleviate this pain and anguish?
I am not a therapist, nor do I pretend to be, but I know from experience the benefits of sharing with trusted people who can relate to your story or mental health professionals who can offer coping techniques and advice. I also think nurturing your mind and body goes a long way in healing. Exercise, reading, relaxation techniques, podcasts, etc., have all helped me on so many levels. I feel good, I’m stronger and I’ve shifted my perspective on many things that were holding me back from my full growth potential.
Lean into the pain. Accept the pain. Sit with the pain. Cry, scream, be angry, and then give yourself the grace and space to move forward when you’re ready.
I think before, during and after a divorce, the “grieving” process is ongoing. Grief comes in many forms and can hit you at unexpected times. While you may want it to disappear completely, it’s a natural part of any life change. It can ebb and flow, and certainly can become less frequent with time. The best advice I was given was exactly what I mentioned above …to “lean into it” and to “give yourself grace.” It took a while to fully accept the benefits of sitting with my feelings before trying to let them go.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?
I think books, podcasts, and other resources are subjective, based on personal stories and experiences, so I will not recommend specific ones. However, I do recommend finding online support groups. Through the groups I joined on social media, I was exposed to hundreds, even thousands, of women with shared experiences, many of whom could have told my own story. They also provided invaluable advice during the time I needed it most. I still post on these platforms for advice from this wonderful, strong, resilient sisterhood of women.
Because of the position you are in, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most good to the most people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
My immediate goal with My Digital Divorce Diary: A Year of Unbreaking is to create a movement of divorcing women sharing their stories forward, one video entry at a time. Many divorced women suffer in silence, and it can be a lonely and isolating process. Divorce comes with fear, trauma, loss, and endless layers of grief. Creating video diary entries and then sharing them on my social media platforms will allow divorcing women to walk together and know they are part of a very specific sisterhood of women who share their pain.
We are very blessed that prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the U.S., with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. 😊
Miley Cyrus’s song, “Flowers,” happened to emerge as my own story unfolded. The strength and message behind that song — of empowerment, independence, and beauty in self — are what women enduring this process don’t often hear. It became my personal anthem and a reminder that I am not losing the basic pleasures in life by being on my own. It also became a beacon of hope. I would LOVE to have a sit-down with Miley or any of the other strong celebrity women who have shared their personal stories publicly, as I think they would appreciate and relate to my healing and empowerment journey.
Where can readers learn more about you? Website? Social?
My Digital Divorce Diary: A Year of Unbreaking, can be found at…
- Facebook: @mydigitaldivorcediary
- YouTube: @mydigitaldivorcediary1
- TikTok: @mydigitaldivorcediary
- Instagram: @mydigitaldivorcediary
And visit my website: ginalevinelevy.com.
Thank you for these great insights and for the time you spent with this interview. We wish you only continued success!
Gina Levine Levy On 5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.