An Interview With Jake Frankel
Turn on and up your favorite music and dance! It will instantly lift your spirits.
It sometimes feels like it is so hard to avoid feeling down or depressed these days. Between the sad news coming from world headlines, the impact of the ongoing raging pandemic, and the constant negative messages popping up on social and traditional media, it sometimes feels like the entire world is pulling you down. What do you do to feel happiness and joy during these troubled and turbulent times? In this interview series called “Finding Happiness and Joy During Turbulent Times” we are talking to experts, authors, and mental health professionals who share lessons from their research or experience about “How To Find Happiness and Joy During Troubled & Turbulent Times”.
As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Maria Baltazzi.
Maria Baltazzi, PhD, MFA, is a Happiness Explorer. Maria’s experience as an Emmy award-winning TV producer, wellbeing teacher, and travel designer gives her a unique lens into conscious living that she shares in her new book Take a Shot at Happiness: Write, Direct & Produce the Life You Want. Maria’s diverse background and adventurous and giving spirit make her an inspiration for living your best life.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up until the age of twenty, when I moved to California, in the Midwest. First Chicago, then Cleveland. I was a child of immigrants. We were our own European UN. My mother was born in Greece. My father was born in Turkey, my sister in France, my brother in England, and I got Chicago, Illinois. There were always many travel stories, especially about where my father, a physicist and organic chemist, grew up, studied, or worked. So, it is no surprise that my career started as a storyteller in TV who spent a fair amount of time on the road and now includes owning a transformational travel design company, Sojourn Explorers. My parents read widely and were progressive thinkers compared to where and how they grew up, which was in more conservative environments. Eating healthy, exercising, and cultivating one’s thoughts and ideas were a mainstay in our home and habits that have influenced me throughout my life.
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
As far back as I can remember, I have loved stories, images, and sound and how they went together. At a young age, I realized that I saw my thoughts as pictures. I loved travel and adventure, too. So, when I left college, I just went toward what interested me, and that is how I ended up working in television. However, I eventually found the demands of the TV world were mentally and emotionally unhealthy and unsustainable for me. I wanted to do something about this, and once again, I went toward my interests, although this time, it was motivated by self-preservation. I wanted and needed a healthier lifestyle. So I began what I call “my happiness journey,” which led to writing a book that draws on one’s creativity to help them be happier.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?
There have been two people who have consistently encouraged me in my career.
One was my writing teacher at ArtCenter College of Design, Ron Osborn. He wrote on Moonlighting, The West Wing, Met Joe Black, and a host of other film and TV shows. I had an independent studies screenwriting class with him. He was always encouraging, thoughtful, and constructive with his notes. However, the most impactful thing was that he helped me believe I could write. I was very touched when he read my recently published book and posted this comment on my social media feed:
“You came into my intro screenwriting class and showed imagination, the ability to execute and, above all, the drive and desire to write that is so important, as important as ability and the predisposition to learn. You got away from writing for many years but still used a lot of those same storytelling muscles in your TV endeavors. Then you went back to school and truly dedicated yourself and succeeded in becoming, yes, an actual writer — a published author.”
The other, also always supportive, was Mark Burnett, the former Chairman of MGM Worldwide Television Group executive producer who brought Survivor to TV audiences. The X and Y for Mark and I have always been in adventure travel. During the show’s production, Mark often told those around us in conversation that I reminded him of a character in an adventure novel, “somehow in clean, fresh clothing and poised even though I know she just emerged from the jungle an hour ago.” He taught me to have a vision for my stories and never mind how or what others were doing. My experience on Survivor was an early lesson in not comparing my work and career to other producers and directors and has extended to my overall path in life. You do you, and I will do me.
Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?
Hmmm. I do not view my life from mistakes or regrets. If you are happy with who you are, and I am, then I feel you needed everything that happened before to bring you to where you are today. So, I would not change anything. Are there things I would not do again? Ah, yes. I would not care so much about pleasing everyone around me on a show — that is what primarily tanked my wellbeing. I wanted to keep the crew happy. Deliver the show the network wanted, yet still satisfy the production company. You had to
factor in the talent’s wants, and I had my creative vision. Many times, all these were at odds, and I started noticing that managing the conflicting personalities and demands was not emotionally, mentally, or sustainable for my wellbeing. So, my lesson in all that is to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Then, you are better equipped to manage and take care of others.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
I was one of the original Supervising Producers on Survivor. We were getting Super Bowl numbers every week when I was doing the show. It is extraordinary to think back on this. However, during that time, I was not focused on audience numbers. I cared more about delivering the most interesting stories about an ill-suited, ill-equipped tribe on a remote island. There were always the obvious stories to tell like they could not make fire or “I’m starving.” However, and especially season after season, I wanted to find what was underneath the obvious. Survivor taught me to look beyond the surface to see how you can tell the same stories from a unique perspective.
I use this same perspective in the most exciting project I have right now, which is my book. I used the research I found to create a different way of seeing happy people’s virtues, qualities, and habits. I call these our Happiness Essentials. What I hope people will understand and find helpful is that they can choose how they want to be in the world, learn the skills and practices to support them, and do it in a creative and supportive way that makes learning more fun, accessible, and practical.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
The first two character traits are: 1) being solutions-oriented and 2) being optimistic. When producing shows for Mark Burnett, I quickly learned that it would not be helpful if I came to him with a problem and no solution.
Character trait number one: being solutions-oriented. Mark and I were making Expedition Africa: Stanley & Livingstone (one of my favorite series experiences) for History, and the expectations for delivering an engaging large-budget show about a historical expedition were high. When we sent out our first scouts, the reports were bleak. We wanted to have four modern-day explorers retrace the historic journey of Henry Morton Stanley in search of Dr. David Livingstone from Zanzibar across Tanzania to Lake Tanganyika, a 900-hundred-mile journey, much like the 1871 British explorer experienced. However, we found that a lot of the original trail was overrun by humanity. So, instead of wringing our hands over what no longer existed and could not be done, I asked my team to look for what could be done and what remained of Stanley’s path to Livingstone.
Character trait number two: optimism, living in possibility. That question, “what can we do?” enabled us to find a route that followed a similar geographic course that had remained largely untouched and gave us a way to tell Stanley’s story.
Both traits helped keep my team moving forward rather than stalling out because there seemed to be no options.
Character trait number three: calmness, ergo, grace under fire. I was shooting an unscripted competition pilot for CBS in a downtown Los Angeles warehouse. It was the last scene of the day and the episode’s finale. Our network executive was on set. We had set up cameras for the contestants to enter one way. To our surprise, they came in from another direction that we were not set up to shoot. My producing partner started to melt down and cry because they felt responsible for not securing all the access points except for the one we wanted the contestants to enter through. My first reaction was, “Please, don’t cry now!” and then to keep my composure. I thought if I kept grace under fire, so would everyone else, including the network executive. The set remained calm, and we salvaged the scene. This event taught me that if you stay calm as a leader, those around you will likely follow you.
For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly let us know why you are an authority about the topic of finding joy?
I have been involved in happiness studies for over fifteen years and feel that is where my expertise resides. I have a PhD in Conscious-Centered Living and trained in mindfulness and Primordial Sound Meditation, a form of transcendental meditation that Deepak Chopra teaches. However, degrees and certifications aside, I nurture uplifting habits and practice daily. I feel that happiness is a state of being that joy is contained within. I put what I write about into practice consistently. When challenged, I use the concepts and practices I write about to return to my happiness baseline. I have learned from when I have fallen in my journey and have picked myself back up. It all comes down to choosing happiness every day and doing something about it. Now, I am sharing my lived experiences, using a creative approach, hoping to help others live happier lives. For example, teaching people to write about what matters and take meaningful photographs with their camera phones is one of the creative practices I employ.
Ok, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview about finding joy. Even before the pandemic hit, the United States was ranked at #19 in the World Happiness Report. Can you share a few reasons why you think the ranking is so low, despite all of the privileges and opportunities that we have in the US?
I think there are many reasons why the US ranks so low on the World Happiness Report. I will give you five reasons here:
One, we spend too much time in front of screens and not enough engaging with those we love or being outside. This behavior causes many to feel isolated and lonely.
Two, we spend too much comparing ourselves to others and worrying about what they think about us, which leads to low self-esteem.
Three, we spend too much time feeling guilty or doing things we think we are supposed to do because families, friends, and society say we should, which can cause feelings of quiet desperation.
Four, we spend too much time on the hustle and not enough in stillness, where inner peace can be experienced. The constant rush churns us up mentally and emotionally.
Five, we settle for what is convenient, okay, and ultimately meaningless instead of facing the challenge of finding greater meaning and purpose. Those who are happy have meaning and purpose in one’s life.
We need to stop spinning and take stock of what is important. One of the few positive things that came out of Covid is that it forced people to take a “time out.” Many found themselves identifying and reflecting on what matters to them and are now making better choices when it comes to their happiness and what brings them joy.
What are the main myths or misconceptions you’d like to dispel about finding joy and happiness? Can you please share some stories or examples?
The one big happiness myth I want to dispel is people thinking, “I will be happy when…” Many believe they will be happy when they get a high-status job, have a lot of money, buy a big home, get a fancy car, and so forth. However, they come to find out that is not true, not in the long run. Once you achieve your desire, you often want an even higher-status job, even more money, a bigger house, and a fancier car. It is because we get used to whatever we have, and it no longer gives us the same pleasure it initially did, and we want the next level up. This pattern of thinking is what is known as Hedonic Adaptation. We keep reaching for the supposedly next biggest and best thing. Material things will give you pleasure for a while, and then it fades because the positive feelings you experience are projected on things outside you. Instead, focus on what you can create or further develop inside of you: virtues and qualities like gratitude, forgiveness, and faith — these will give you a more profound sense of happiness and joy.
In a related, but slightly different question, what are the main mistakes you have seen people make when they try to find happiness? Can you please share some stories or examples?
Perhaps the first mistake is trying to find happiness. You do not find happiness like it is lying under a rock or around the next bend. I think you develop happiness. You create your happiness. You are intentional about it. You learn and develop the virtues, qualities, and habits of happy people. That is what Take a Shot at Happiness is about. Taking control of your life and creating the one you want. I qualified the Happiness Essentials that I felt leveled up my life and then went out to see if there was research to support what I intuitively felt, which became my book.
My motivation was sitting in my office in Los Angeles, feeling that my life was broken. Nothing was working. Not professionally, not personally. In that moment of despair, I put on my big girl pants and told myself that “this moment” would not take me down, nor would it define me. Next, I did not sit around feeling sorry for myself. I got off my Greek booty and did something about my feelings and circumstances, which led me to where I am today. I studied and practiced healthier and more productive ways of being. I learned from my challenges and made sure to appreciate plenty of joyful moments in my journey.
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our discussion. Can you please share with our readers your “5 things you need to live with more Joie De Vivre, more joy and happiness in life, particularly during turbulent times?”
Five things you can do every to find joy and happiness, no matter what the circumstance is that day are:
One, find something fun or joyful to do every day. It can be as simple as pausing to enjoy coffee while watching the world go by. I have done this for years, which has made a huge difference in seeing and feeling a more hopeful life.
Two, limit the time and amount of social media and news you consume. It will help counter the constant bombardment of information that causes us to feel overwhelmed, like we cannot keep up or there is too much negativity in the world.
Three, reading or listening to something inspirational or aspirational to uplift you.
Four, turn on and up your favorite music and dance! It will instantly lift your spirits.
Five, get outside. Feel the warmth of the sun or the crispness of the air. Smell the earth, touch its dirt. Intentionally savor this experience and notice how you feel.
What can concerned friends, colleagues, and life partners do to effectively help support someone they care about who is feeling down or depressed?
There are also five things you can do to support someone who is feeling down or depressed.
One, be present with them — not multitasking on your phone or watching TV. Let them know they are important by listening to them. A lot of times, people just want to be heard. It helps them feel like they matter because they do.
Two, give them their space to express how they feel. Let them ramble and allow them to express their emotions. If they keep saying the same thing over and over for a prolonged period (think days, weeks, months,) then it may be time for a little tough love. It is okay and normal to feel down. However, it is not a place you want to stay. It is not mentally or emotionally healthy for them, you, or your relationship. You have to choose to change your downward state and bust a move upward toward how you want to feel. There is a great difference between expressing emotions to help move through them versus wallowing in them and staying stuck.
Three, avoid shaming or downplaying their feelings. Instead of saying a pat, “It’ll be okay.” Ask them what would make them feel better. If you can, guide them in that direction.
Four, assist them in finding professional help if they need it.
Five, hug them, give them a reassuring touch. It will show them that they are cared about and are not alone.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I am 100% behind a “Choose Happiness” movement. I want to help people understand that there is a tremendous amount of control they have over the quality of their lives if only they consciously, consistently choose happiness and do something intentional about it every day. Nothing will happen until these two things are in play. Happiness is not fluffy, nor is it a fleeting moment. It is a state of being that enables you to navigate life’s challenges better, healthily, and sustainably. If one by one, people make a “happiness choice,” their world will change, and so will the rest of the world collectively.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them 😊
The only person I have ever wanted to intentionally meet is Sir Richard Branson. I write about him in my book as an excellent example of using status and resources for the betterment of others and our planet. He did not set out to have hundreds of companies. He just invested in areas that interested him. He found good people to run his companies who care about people. I love that Branson attributes his wealth and success to being happy and having a sense of purpose. His happiness attracts money versus using it to make him happy. It looks like life for him is a big adventure and a total blast (Virgin Galactic, oh yes, please!)
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Websites: https://mariabaltazzi.com/ // https://sojourntohappiness.com
Insta: @mariabaltazzi // @sojourntohappiness
Book Companion App: https://sojourntohappiness.com/take-a-shot-at-happiness-app/
Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success and good health!
Dr. Maria Baltazzi On Finding Happiness and Joy During Turbulent Times was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.