Dr Laura Wood Alexander On The 5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Children Thrive and Excel In School
An Interview With Jake Frankel
Attention: A parent giving their child attention from birth forward is key to the child being incorporated into the family. This might sound simplistic, but there is overwhelming evidence that many children do not seem to be noticed despite the socio-economic, professional or inherited level of influence of the parents. Giving wholesome attention shows in actual and tangible ways actions that say “I love you.” “You are a valuable part of my life.” “I like the way you…” “We have so much fun when we are together…” “I noticed that you like/liked…and this is important to me.”
School is really not easy these days. Many students have been out of school for a long time because of the pandemic, and the continued disruptions and anxieties are still breaking the flow of normal learning. What can parents do to help their children thrive and excel in school, particularly during these challenging and anxiety-provoking times?
To address this, we started a new series called ‘5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Children Thrive and Excel In School.” In this interview series, we are talking to teachers, principals, education experts, and successful parents to learn from their insights and experience.
As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure to interview Dr. Laura Wood Alexander.
Versatile is the word that describes Dr. Laura Wood Alexander’s multi-talented career. Alexander’s path has flowed through speech language therapy, K-12 and higher education teaching and administration, as well as being an author. Laura enjoys motivating, mentoring, and coaching.
Laura is a dreamer. When learning about the influence of foreign countries in the world’s society during her elementary school years, she dreamed of one day traveling the world with her greatest desire to see the Great Wall in China. Her dreams became a reality as she has traveled extensively, fulfilled her dream to climb the Great Wall, and lived eight years in Ethiopia as a teacher of English as a foreign language. Dr. Alexander has presented for the International Association of Special Education conferences in Nova Scotia, Canada, Alicante, Spain, and Namibia, South Africa.
Laura’s educational background includes a B.A. in Speech Therapy from La Sierra University, a M.S. in Education from California State University, East Bay, and a PhD in Educational Policy and Administration from the University of Minnesota. She has three adult children, five grandchildren, and a lovable poodle mix dog.
Through her company, Hello Voice Publications, Laura writes children’s picture storybooks and develops motivational material. Laura is also an inventor, receiving a patent for magnetic bookmarks. She loves to connect with people and is a dreamer, risk taker, and optimist–discovering that new opportunities and possibilities bring ways to learn about life and culture.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us a bit about your “backstory”?
I was born in Queens, Jamaica, New York to Lafayette and Lucy Wood, the second and youngest child in the family. Our family lived in the Jamaica projects until I was in the fifth grade and then we moved to the Flushing New York projects. However, my parents, wanting my brother and me to have a fuller education experience, enrolled us in private schools. I attended The Queens School in Forest Hills, New York then went to Rudolf Steiner in New York City for fifth grade and Elizabeth Irwin schools in Greenwich Village, New York, for sixth and seventh grades. I attended public school from eighth grade until high school graduation in San Jose, California, where my parents were finally able to buy a house.
My father worked as a “Red Cap” for the Pennsylvania Railroad and my mother worked as a typist clerk in New York City. With their meager earnings, they placed us in private school and I guess you could say that “affirmative action” helped them to afford the tuition. An interesting fact about attending private school was my transportation. From first grade until seventh grade we took public transportation — buses and trains to school. We also walked many blocks, probably a mile or more to go board the public transportation. Going to private school with public transportation at a young age, mostly by myself, I feel was the basis for me becoming a risk taker.
The interesting thing, and probably the creation of my subconscious dream to travel, came because of my father’s job. His job allowed him to have free travel on railroads. Thus we traveled by train across Canada to the west coast, across the United States from the west coast to New York City, and also to Chicago and Iowa to visit relatives for holidays. I have always appreciated the fact that though our family was poor, this didn’t prevent cultural exposure to museums, plays, ballets, and music lessons, besides the travel. Although I knew prejudice existed against people of color, it had a minimizing effect on my thinking because of my exposure to the world around me.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
When I began my career as a speech therapist, the profession was not widely known by school educators. After marrying and moving from California to Huntsville, Alabama, I applied for a position with the city school district.
At that time, the schools were segregated, so I was referred to the Black administrator for Black school teachers. When I told him I was a speech therapist, he asked what my position was. After explaining, he gave a hearty laugh, saying he never heard of such a profession. He signed me up for substitute teaching. I had difficulty with classroom management and left the district to work at the hospital as a ward clerk (secretary at the nurses’ station).
When Head Start became available to school districts, a speech therapist was needed to be part of a Head Start staff. I received a letter from the Huntsville school district requesting me to interview for the position. I was interviewed and hired by the administrator for White students. But the really sad part, because of segregation, I could only service students in the Black schools. She expressed sorrow that I couldn’t provide speech therapy for White students and, unfortunately, there was not a White speech therapist to fill the role for the White schools.
The lesson I learned at the beginning of my career is that segregation hurts all children, all educators, and all schools. Segregation devalues all students, all faculties, and creates a wall of separation in thinking and actions in the educational environment, which then leads to false ideas and concepts regarding all people in society.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
While working as the associate director for the Bush Educators Program at the Carlson School of Management, University of Minnesota, I invited David McNally to present at one of the modules along with showing his wonderful video for his book, Even Eagles Need A Push.
We stayed in contact and when writing his second book, The Eagle’s Secret, and McNally requested my thoughts on people who most influenced me to be included in his book. I chose my sixth grade teacher, Louis Sarlin, and was pleased to present the book to him at his school awards dinner with a copy of the life lesson quote, which has deep meaning for me.
The quote is written by the Greek writer Nikos Kazantzakis: “True teachers are those who use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross; then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create their own.” Kazantzakis’ quote has been exceptionally relevant to my thinking as an educator in a career that has spanned a K-12 general and special education teacher, administrator, and director, and a university program director and adjunct professor. It has had great meaning for me as a speech language pathologist. Throughout my life career in education, I have countlessly and joyfully collapsed and encouraged students to cross bridges to success.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
I believe I have discovered the most successful characteristic in being a team leader. When leaders team with their co-workers, this builds a sense of community and team-esteem. As a team leader, I feel the five attributes for success are: Sharing a common direction to build a team community, availing oneself to help with tasks to increase cooperation, empowering team members to help each other to be successful, coaching team members for team effectiveness, and mentoring team members to give them greater responsibility.
Of these, I feel the three most important character traits are to build a sense of community and direction, coaching team members for team effectiveness, and mentoring team members to give them greater responsibility.
The team leader is like the lighthouse beam. A leader’s beam lights the way for the team to give them direction and to support their part in the direction. Thus creating a sense of direction for their mission, visions and goals.
When working as a junior high school assistant principal, the school district responded to the need to create models for cultural diversity from future demographic reports noting the area would soon become more culturally diverse. I was selected to be a team member for the district’s cultural team to present vignettes of different cultures to school staff for widening their awareness of the diversity. In addition to being a district team member, I teamed with my school staff members to develop a community and build a direction for cultural diversity with our school’s cultural committee. Our team then presented school assemblies to highlight cultural diversity for the students and staff.
With the role as an assistant principal comes the responsibility to evaluate teaching performance. I always felt this was a most critical part of team leadership because it gave the opportunity to coach teachers for effectiveness, problem solve solutions for issues they were encountering and seeing areas where they could be given greater responsibility with the school program.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
As a children’s picture storybook writer and creator of learning materials, I’m always open to new ways to present interesting and relevant learning. I enjoy writing rhyming verse for my picture storybooks.
Currently, I’m working on two projects. I’m excited about my latest book, which is a short story written in rhyme with pictures for fourth through eighth grade students. The book is about flags waving across the USA in ten different states with facts related to Kamala Harris. This book is also dedicated to her.
My second project is a book of poems written by former speech language students. When working with speech therapy students, I often show them how to create rhyming poems by listening to the final vowel sounds in words. I’ve developed a process with rhyming tree branches for students to list words with the same final vowel sound to create poems. This adds to their understanding of homophones and increases spelling skills.
My rhyming poem books provide parents and educators supplemental material to foster language learning. When parents take the time to read to their children, it creates a close bond and helps the child to feel a sense of care and love.
For the benefit of our readers, can you tell us a bit about why you are an authority on how to help children succeed in school?
As I interact with children and listen to their stories, through my various roles as a life educator, I’ve gained knowledge to help children grow and succeed by creating supportive relationships. My leadership roles give me the authorization to be an authentic guide for students, as I build understanding for their concerns and needs.
One significant role of authority occurred when serving as an assistant principal, I developed the Parent Clinic with a teacher team. This developed because I noticed that several students were repeat offenders of school rules or challengers of teacher authority. As I talked to the students, I found they were wanting direction in their thinking. When I spoke to their parents, I discovered they were exasperated with their child’s behavior and were at a loss to help them.
Our team created a three part series workshop for parents during after school hours. The parents were deeply appreciative for the guidance and our data showed there were fewer repeat offender visits to the administrators’ office.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. Can you help articulate the main challenges that students face today that make it difficult to succeed in school?
This is an interesting time we live in to say the least. In The Hill, Lauren Irwin, 08/28/24, relates that the The United States Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, states “The work of raising a child is work, no less valuable than the work performed in a paid job and of an extraordinary value when it comes to the impact on the future of society. Cultural norms should support parents talking more openly about their challenges and support for them when they do face them.”
Eighty years ago it was expected for mothers to be in the home with the job of raising their children, without “work performed in a paid job.” With the norms of society changing and increased knowledge and technology increasing every day, parenting is in a crisis.
In a CNBC, Aditi Shrikant, 2024 post, “Teens and parents agree on at least one thing: kids had it easier 20 years ago than they do today. Sixty-nine percent of parents with teens from 13–17 years of age state that growing up is harder because of social media, while teens state that kids feel “more pressures and expectations” as the root problem.
A sad, but increasing concern, is gun violence with numerous dead and injured students and staff. This does not account for the traumatized students, parents, teachers, and administrators and the increased need for therapists and medical personnel to address violence issues and impact. This senseless act of school terrorism seizes confidence and robs students of the feeling that they can be safe and happy in their learning environment. It disrupts and plays havoc with their need to succeed in school.
Can you suggest a few reforms that you think schools should make to help students to thrive and excel?
A concept I learned in my administration classes was that everything that happens in the school setting is education. This can be a powerful reform and concept for educators to grasp because it goes beyond compartmentalizing class subjects, school departments, teacher hierarchy, and a “we/they” (we teachers, they administrators) into seeing that everyone in the school setting has a responsibility for the education of students beyond their sphere of work. Mission statements can include the priorities for making the school a place where the entire staff participates in providing guidance to students.
Because students have become increasingly involved in social media and are intimately connected with their cell phones, teachers can use this as a means to help students determine a true/false sense of reasoning. The reform would be for teachers to develop ways for social media to be used with their teaching instruction. Students would benefit by sorting out what is real or false as it relates to the information they are learning. However, even without social media, there has been true and false thinking through the ages. But if teachers used this medium to help students think in creative ways about what they are learning, I feel it would wake up student thoughts about the subjects they are studying and the lives they are living and want to live in the future.
A needed reform would be to increase oral communication. Today, listening and watching pervades communication styles. Communication can often be for example, a short sentence, a like or dislike response or an emoji. This reform would begin with parent-teacher communication support groups in early childhood education and scaffold, grow and expand through the twelve years of diploma education. When parents and teachers make oral communication a priority they will discover two ways it will benefit students. First, for student academic skills to increase with word/sentence memory, creative thinking, grammar usage, vocabulary, appropriate social use of language. Secondly, it will also create a medium for parents and teachers to connect beyond parent-teacher conference days to give both parent and teacher a wider view and understanding of the student. With support group interactions between teachers and parents, students will learn to form an intensity to listen for information and to respond with clear thoughts.
Another reform would be to identify school districts as education parks. When you think of the word “park,” usually a quiet serene picture comes to mind. A park can be a large enclosed area meant for human enjoyment. And why not for the school setting? With a park view for school setting, a change in point of view will occur for entire school faculties and students.
Here is our primary question. Can you please share your “5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Children Thrive and Excel In School?” Please share a story or example for each.
So what can parents do today when facing the dilemma of raising their children to be successful? I feel communication is the foundational parent competence needed for success. One readily thinks communication is talking, however communication encompasses several key areas for parents to consider. I propose five key success factors that build and support their children’s skills to survive, thrive, and excel in school and life. The five key areas of communication that are most important are: Attention, oral expression, perseverance, exploration, and value.
Attention: A parent giving their child attention from birth forward is key to the child being incorporated into the family. This might sound simplistic, but there is overwhelming evidence that many children do not seem to be noticed despite the socio-economic, professional or inherited level of influence of the parents. Giving wholesome attention shows in actual and tangible ways actions that say “I love you.” “You are a valuable part of my life.” “I like the way you…” “We have so much fun when we are together…” “I noticed that you like/liked…and this is important to me.”
Positive attention shows that a parent understands they are responsible and are willing to let a child know what areas may need improvement for them to grow, prosper, and succeed. This is affirming to the child because it lets the child know that the parent cares about all areas of their life.
Although, puberty can alter this aspect as the child begins to widen their sphere of attention to the others outside of the family circle. The responsible parent who gives their child positive attention will pause before they condone unsafe habits. If the child always knows that the parent is a positive, responsible and crucial part of their life they will always know they have their parents’ positive attention.
Oral Expression: Oral expression supports communication in various ways. Children learn oral expression as they grow from infancy to adulthood. When the baby gurgles and makes sounds, many times the parent may say, “She said ‘bye.’” When the baby continues with their sounds and parents interpret them for words, the baby soon learns what the words mean. This helps them to follow directions and begins the process of communication. Being intentional with speaking creates the habit of talking. However, some children prefer to listen rather than to speak and parents will sometimes say, my child is a talker or my child prefers not to share their thoughts.
Whether or not a child is a listener or talker, parents still need to make oral expression a priority. It is so critical in today’s society. When oral expression is not important to parents or is not present in the home, a child will withdraw into themselves. Sometimes this can lead to dangerous websites that have treacherous and unsafe thoughts which can lead to unthinkable actions. Jillian Peterson and James Densley, Education Week, October 8, 2019, in their article, What School Shooters Have in Common, enumerate the four things school shooters have in common. “Our study shows that there’s no one profile of a school shooter and no one predictor of a school shooting. However, school shooters are almost always a student at the school, and they typically have these four things in common: They suffered early-childhood trauma and exposure to violence at a young age. They were angry or despondent over a recent event, resulting in feelings of suicidality. They studied other school shootings, notably Columbine, often online, and found inspiration. And they possessed the means to carry out an attack.”
Parents who want their child to thrive and find success need to keep the door of oral expression open. This can be done with activities to set aside time for a family ritual like reading a story together and discussing sections read, or by going to an event together and then reviewing what was most enjoyable or not liked.
Oral expression in the home also teaches children how to address prejudice and racism. It helps children to make judgments and develop moral standards. It promotes parents talking to their children about fear, pride, self-esteem, sexuality, and difficult situations like being pressured to do something against their will or being bullied. Oral expression supports conversations about, for example, school shootings and their response and care when their children have been traumatized. Parents can be the guiding light to their children to encourage deep thoughts and the courage to ask questions and seek answers.
Parents are also models for oral expression. When working as an assistant principal, there was a student who would scream words and threats to teachers when becoming upset or nervous. When the student was sent to the office the yelling would continue to the office staff. I would intervene and take the student to my office to calm down and talk about the issues. On one occasion, the staff called the parents to report that their child was having a difficult day at school yelling and screaming at the teacher and requesting them to pick him up from school. The parents arrived walking into the student office yelling and screaming that their child was being picked on by teachers. Their voices were so loud I could hear them in my office, which was in another hallway. I rushed to the student office to ask the parents to come to my office. As I talked through the situation with the parents they slowly calmed and began to address the issue. Their child responded to situations much the same way as the parents responded.
Perseverance: Perseverance is a critical skill for children to learn as they grow. The skill begins at home with completing household chores or helping family members with difficult tasks. This skill continues at school with classwork and homework. Children learn and perform at different rates of absorbing information, but the key is to inspire them to complete whatever they started and to understand that it is a responsibility to be as complete as possible.
Having hobbies, like making LEGO creations, collecting toys, learning knitting or crocheting, also teaches perseverance. When my daughter was in middle school, I purchased a hook rug for her to make for her room. She began with enthusiasm, but then became tired of making the rug and rebelled. I coaxed her to complete the project giving her the vision of the satisfaction she would receive with completion. Years later, in adulthood, she shared with me how encouraging it was for her to complete the hook rug and how it has helped her as an adult with her work projects.
Exploration: Helping children to explore the world they live in builds success in and out of the home. Children can explore with books and magazines in the home and with trips and vacations outside of the home. Parents can stimulate children to want to explore different parts of their community other than the grocery store or mall. Creating an exploration focus also supports school subjects like geography, social studies and language arts.
Also, mathematics supports everyday living, like numbers and counting, measurement, shapes, and patterns. I’ve encountered elementary students who are not able to answer the name of the street they live on, town, state or even the name of the country. One time while teaching high school students, a teacher asked me to share car road maps with her so her students could become visually aware of streets and roads in their community and develop a knowledge of states within the United States.
I love to travel and at every opportunity, I would plan a trip for my children to experience different cultural settings. My children have repeatedly thanked me as adults for their experience of traveling to foreign lands. Family reunions were an anticipated event because it involved travel to a reunion venue–giving my children exposure not only to various places, but also to people from various cultural backgrounds.
Values: Values are something that can be taught, visualized, and modeled to a child. This concept shows that something is important and held in high regard. Teaching a child that education is valued will boost their interest in their school subjects. Regarding value as something special in a child’s life, helps them to have interests and make decisions based on principles and standards of behavior.
There is a story reported by BBC, August 24, 2024, about a young boy visiting the Hecht Museum in Haifa, Israel. The museum does not have barriers for their artifacts wanting their patrons to see as much as possible with the natural qualities that can be seen and touched. “The boy’s father, Alex, said his son “pulled the jar slightly” because he was “curious about what was inside,” causing it to fall. However, his untrained hands caused it to fall and break. His parents were distraught thinking of the value beyond cost as it was a 3,500 year-old artifact. But the museum staff showed graciousness and kind consideration when stating, “There are instances where display items are intentionally damaged, and such cases are treated with great severity, including involving the police,” Lihi Laszlo from the museum told the BBC. This incident gave new meaning to the paradigm of value and the aspect of the family and museum finding joy in this exceptional situation.
As you know, teachers play such a huge role in shaping young lives. What would you suggest needs to be done to attract top talent to the education field?
As we progress through the 21st Century, attracting teachers to the education field is a true challenge. I feel that to attract top talent, school districts need to pursue teacher candidates who are totally committed to giving to others within the teaching environment. Top teachers are attracted to school districts who value in-district professional development, as well as healthy stipends for out of district professional development during the school year and during the summer months.
Another attraction is a pay scale that is commensurate with the community’s cost of living. Offer talented school teachers a low teacher to student ratio, paid school lunch, personal computers and equipment to support visual learning, and a dedicated, well equipped teacher resource room with up to date technology and technical support when needed. School administrators should also provide clear communication and direction being sensitive to the needs of the entire faculty, students, and parents. The administrators also provide a cohesive school setting that includes students with special needs as a part of the school environment with their classrooms integrated with general education classrooms and not at the end of the hallway in the farthest part of the school. Input from teachers for suggestions for improvement is welcomed and seen as a way to work toward high standards.
We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
It would be a great honor and privilege for me to meet Michelle Obama. I can relate to her early years of growing up–her years in Chicago and mine in New York City. I deeply respect her, enormously enjoy Mrs. Obama’s oral presentations and expressed thoughts.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Please visit Hello Voice Publications to read my blogs and children’s books.
Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!
Dr Laura Wood Alexander On The 5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Children Thrive and Excel In… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.