An Interview With Drew Gerber
Our brains are designed to notice the negative and to hone in on problems. This means they’re really good at focusing on what is missing or what we don’t have. Instead, make it a point to pause and find something you appreciate in this moment. Over time, you can train your brain to do this more naturally. Practicing gratitude can help you feel more appreciation for what you have and less of a nagging to have more.
We live in a time of great excess. We have access to fast fashion, fast food, and fast everything. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. How can we simplify and focus on what’s important? How can we let go of all the clutter and excess and find true happiness? In this interview series, we are talking to coaches, mental health experts, and authors who share insights, stories, and personal anecdotes about “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make Us Happier.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Dr. Ashley Smith.
Dr. Ashley Smith is a licensed clinical psychologist, co-founder of Peak Mind: The Center for Psychological Strength, speaker, author, and self-proclaimed happiness quester. She is also open about living — and learning to thrive — with a rare visual impairment. The combination of her professional expertise and personal experiences put her in a unique position to educate and inspire. She is passionate about using psychology and applied neuroscience to help others live vibrant, happy lives while performing at their peak, and her ultimate goal is to change the way people think.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
I started studying psychology originally because I found the subject interesting. I pursued a PhD in clinical psychology because I wanted to help people. I stumbled into studying anxiety disorders through good luck, and I’m grateful for that. In graduate school, I dabbled a little bit in positive psychology, studying the link between happiness, optimism, social anxiety, and depression.
Anxiety just made sense to me. We understand what’s going on in our brains when we feel anxious, and there are great treatments that make a real difference for people. I loved specializing in the treatment of anxiety and OCD, and that’s what I focused on for a long time.
A nice side effect of my job is that I have stellar coping skills, which I use on a daily basis. I’ve used those skills to overcome social anxiety, and I’ve needed to rely on those skills to come to terms with vision loss.
I have a rare degenerative retinal disease that makes me legally, and increasingly, blind. At the time I had to stop driving, doctors could not explain why I was losing sight, and I still don’t know if or when the vision loss will stop. While my clinical psychology skills were helpful in dealing with the difficult transition and uncertainty, they weren’t enough. I was still scared and miserable. I finally got so tired of staring down the barrel of a bleak future that I did not want, that I realized something had to change. Being the professional nerd that I am, I dove head first into the science of happiness. I read everything I could get my hands on, and I came across some illuminating research and practices. The combination of clinical psychology, applied neuroscience, and the science of happiness have helped me to not only come to terms with vision loss but to truly thrive. It is my passion to help others live better lives using actionable and effective psychological science, and I co-founded Peak Mind: The Center for Psychological Strength with Dr. April Seifert as a way to do just that.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I have hundreds of interesting stories from my career! What they have in common, though, is an underlying theme of courage. Treating anxiety typically involves confronting fears. When you face a fear, you take the power away from it. Often, the fear response itself decreases (you get used to it or habituate). Sometimes that doesn’t fear doesn’t really go away, but you learn that you are stronger than it, that you can do things despite feeling anxious, and the result is that your comfort zone expands, your life gets richer, and you get more confident. This is where the interesting part comes in. I’ve helped people face all kinds of fear, everything from being embarrassed to vomiting to germs to failing to anything you can think of probably. That means I’ve done some weird and interesting things, all in the name of treating anxiety. I have to say, the triumph and relief on the other side of fear are amazing!
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Outside of my private practice, most of my efforts are going toward building Peak Mind. We want to help make conversations about mental health and wellbeing mainstream, and we want to drive home the fact that any human with a brain (that’s all of us) needs to take care of their mental health. It’s not just something that applies when you have a diagnosable mental health condition. It’s like physical health. We all know we need to eat well, exercise, and sleep as a foundation for health. Then, we intervene when we get sick or injured. Peak Mind aims to not only provide that same foundation for mental health but to take it a step farther and actually help people thrive.
We originally started out by creating a podcast and blog, digital courses, and virtual workshops to teach people psychological strength skills they can use in their everyday lives. After the pandemic, though, we shifted our target. While we still produce free podcast and blog content (I write the weekly and monthly newsletters available at www.peakmindpsychology.com/subscribe), we are now focused on working with companies and organizations to provide innovative and effective resources and trainings to support employee mental health and wellbeing. We thought by working with organizations, we could ultimately reach and help more people.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on the topic of “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier”?
I have decades of experience studying psychology and happiness. I also practice what I preach, giving me lived experience as well.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. We live in a time of excess. We have access to so much. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. Can you articulate for our readers a few reasons why all of our possessions are not giving us happiness?
Sure. One is that our systems are designed to maintain homeostasis. What that means is that our bodies return to baseline when they get thrown for a loop. Think about how your heartrate and breathing go up after a hard workout. Eventually, they settle back down because our bodies seek homeostasis. This quest for baseline applies to our psychological systems as well. This means that when something happens that makes us happy, say we get some new item that we really want, the high fades pretty quickly because our brains seek homeostasis, and we return to baseline. This makes happiness elusive. We’re not going to get — and keep — happiness indefinitely if we’re relying on external sources to provide it.
When you stop and really think about it, this is a brilliant design feature from Mother Nature. If happiness were something we could easily get and keep forever just by getting a new item that we wanted, we’d lose our drive. We’d have no reason to strive for anything again and would basically become big lumps of nothing.
There’s a saying that happiness isn’t having what you want, it’s wanting what you have. Not only is there wisdom in that, but there’s brain science to back it.
On a broader societal level, how do you think this excessiveness may be harming our communities and society?
This is a good question with a complex answer. We have these underlying beliefs that we should be happy all the time and that we will be happy when we get what we want. These beliefs are reinforced by societal messaging everywhere — if you get this, you’ll be happy. If you keep up with that person, you’ll be happy. There’s a push for more, bigger, better, all with the promise of happiness at the end.
The reality, though, at least as I see it, is that pursuing external things as a way to get and keep happiness isn’t sustainable. We’re going to return to baseline levels, then we’re going to need more and bigger “hits” of happiness. It puts us running on the hedonic treadmill, which is going to get exhausting.
Not only does it not work, but it creates additional problems. Finances are one of the biggest things people worry about, and the pursuit of monetary resources eats up a lot of time and keeps people from doing the things that actually contribute to lasting happiness like spending time with people who matter and focusing on meaning and purpose, even having the time to sleep and exercise and play, all of which are necessary for true wellbeing.
The irony of struggling with happiness in modern times is glaring. In many places in the world today, we have more than ever before in history. Yet despite this, so many people are unhappy. Why is simplifying a solution? How would simplifying help people to access happiness?
Science tells us two important things that apply here. 1) We need to make sure we’re defining happiness as more than just pleasure. It also involves meaning, purpose, and satisfaction with our lives. 2) We know the things that actually contribute the most to lasting happiness and NONE of them is stuff, or even money. The things that truly matter when it comes to maximizing happiness are what’s called the PERMA factors: positive emotions (that arise from doing enjoyable or pleasurable activities), engagement (being fully immersed in what you’re doing, being in a state of flow or in the zone), relationships (this is the single biggest predictor of life satisfaction), meaning and purpose (we need to feel connected to something bigger than ourselves), and achievement (we need to accomplish things).
Can you share some insights from your own experience? Where in your life have you transformed yourself from not having enough to finally experiencing enough? For example, many people feel they don’t have enough money. Yet, people define abundance differently, and often, those with the least money can feel the most abundant. Where in your health, wealth, or relationships have you transformed your life?
As I’ve really gone deep into the science of happiness and started experimenting in my own life, there are a few noteworthy transformations. First, developing a gratitude practice is imperative. Training your brain to not only notice but also appreciate the positives in any moment really shapes your life experience. Second, I now view time as more important than money. Money is a renewable resource — you can always get more. Time, however, is not. I would rather spend my time on the things that matter than burning myself out at work just to have a higher paycheck. Third, I shifted my goals from acquiring things to focusing on experiences. Fourth, I had to do a lot of work in the health area. Coming to terms with vision loss meant really grappling with the deep down fear I had that losing my sight meant that I would not, could not, be happy. Fortunately, that fear was unfounded. I’ve been able to directly confront that fear time and again in a number of ways, and the end result is being happier than I’ve been in a long time despite my vision being worse than it’s ever been. I guess it really boils down to getting clear about what actually matters to you and focusing your time, energy, and effort toward those things.
People, places, and things shape our lives. For example, your friends generate conversations that influence you. Where you live impacts what you eat and how you spend your time. The “things” in your life, like phones, technology, or books impact your recreation. Can you tell us a little about how people, places, and things in your own life impact your experience of “experiencing enough?”
People, places, and things certainly shape our experiences, our choices, and our actions, in both positive and negative ways. When it comes to the question of experiencing enough, for me, it’s a question of how our brains are designed. For example, I know that are brains are designed to “go to the end.” When it comes to scrolling or streaming, there really isn’t an end. So, our brains aren’t going to get the “enough” cue. That’s why we can lose so much time binging TV and social media. Knowing this, I limit my consumption. It’s similar with foods. There’s no “enough” switch when it comes to sugary treats, so I limit them. If they’re not around, I can focus on being satisfied with what I do have. In all honesty, I’m not perfect with this. I like a good Netflix binge and chocolate, but I know at some point, I’m going to have make behavioral and environmental changes to get back on track there.
I learned that happiness that comes from shopping has a short shelf life, so I don’t rely on that as a source of happiness. These days, I do it more as a functional chore. I’ve experimented and found other ways that more reliably and sustainably boost my happiness. Personally, it’s trying new things, being creative (writing, dancing), and talking or spending time with people who light me up. I’m not concerned about experiencing enough with those things because those are things that are healthy for me in the long-run, unlike binging or shopping.
What advice would you give to younger people about “experiencing enough?”
If you’re chasing the happiness high that comes from an outside source — like from buying or getting a material object or something really pleasurable like that decadent dessert — know that the feeling will fade, leaving you wanting more. It’s just how our brains are designed. Instead, focus on building a gratitude practice. Training your brain to focus on what you are grateful for, what you appreciate, no matter what you have or don’t have, will make a much bigger positive impact on the quality of your life experience than getting the next thing.
This is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience and research, can you share your “five ways we can simplify and declutter our lives to make us happier?”
- Practice mindfulness.
How have I talked about happiness this long and NOT mentioned mindfulness?! Mindfulness is training your brain to focus on the present, without judgment. If you’re someone with a noisy, busy brain, think of mindfulness as the way to declutter your mind. Tons of data also show that mindfulness is linked to more happiness and less of all of the stuff we don’t want like anxiety, stress, depression, anger, and pain.
2. Single task instead of multitasking.
The reality is, on a neurological level, multitasking doesn’t exist. Our brains can’t really focus on two things at once. Instead, they have to shift attention back and forth from task to task, albeit very quickly, which is exhausting and inefficient. Multitasking makes tasks take longer. Get more done in less time and with less stress by single tasking, focusing only on one thing at a time. This is also a mindfulness move, so you’ll get the happiness boost there, too.
3. Practice gratitude for what you have.
Our brains are designed to notice the negative and to hone in on problems. This means they’re really good at focusing on what is missing or what we don’t have. Instead, make it a point to pause and find something you appreciate in this moment. Over time, you can train your brain to do this more naturally. Practicing gratitude can help you feel more appreciation for what you have and less of a nagging to have more.
4. Live according to your values.
Make sure that how you spend your times lines up with what is truly important to you. If you really value spending time with your family, but you’re spending all of your time at the office (to pay for things you probably don’t actually need), there’s a mismatch. How can you make adjustments to be more in alignment?
5. Boost your PERMA factors.
Take stock of your days or weeks. How are your PERMA factors doing? Remember, these are the things that actually contribute to our wellbeing and life satisfaction. (Positive emotions, engagement, quality relationships, meaning and purpose, achievement).
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Be a good human. Build the psychological strength skills you need to make sure that your mind’s default operating system doesn’t work against you. Learn to counter our built in negativity biases. Learn to question the assumptions that actually hold us back. Learn to be compassionate, toward yourself and others.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Subscribe to my blog at www.peakmindpsychology.com/subscribe or follow me on LinkedIn @drashleysmith.
Thank you so much for these insights. This was so inspiring, and so important!
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity.
Dr. Ashley Smith On How Simplifying & Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.