Awkward and Proud: Heather Jones Of Heather Jones Coaching On How Embracing Your True Self Can Be Your Social Superpower
An interview with Dr. Bharat Sangani
Learn to put that inner critic to bed. When you hesitate to show up authentically, you leave room for that negative inner voice to run wild. That voice is your own. You do get to control it. In these moments when the inner critic pipes up, dive into a reframe of that negative thought and offer yourself a more empowering one instead.
In a world that often pressures us to fit in, embracing quirks and authenticity can become a unique advantage. Leaning into what makes you different, even if it feels awkward, can foster genuine connections and unlock personal empowerment. In this series, we we would like to explore how embracing one’s true self can transform social interactions and become a powerful tool for building meaningful relationships. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Heather Jones.
This upstate NY native has called Alabama home for a while now, after making her way down south through many military moves with her wonderful hubby and two sweet kiddos. Heathers always had a heart for books, furry friends, and getting crafty. And this lady can BAKE — she’s a bona fide pastry pro after studying baking and pastry arts early on. Now her fam and friends get to nibble on her delectable treats!
But that’s not all: Heather’s a certified life coach! Though her path wasn’t straight as an arrow. At just 18, she joined the Army, meeting her future hubby along the way. After six years of service, she started several handmade Etsy shops while maintaining a strong desire to uplift and inspire others.
Now Heather’s found her true calling, helping women build their dream life while keeping balance in life and business. With her skills, experience, and heart of gold, she’s got your back on your journey to greatness. So, if you’re looking for someone to champion your dreams, Heather’s your gal.
Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’ and how you got started?
At this stage of my life, it feels like there’s a whole lot of backstories, but I’ll do my best to keep it succinct. When I was 18, I joined the army, and throughout that journey I met the incredible man that was to become my husband. By the time I completed my enlistment and decided to get out of the Army, my husband had a bit of time left on his contract, so I went to work in the civilian sector and decided to go back to school for baking and pastry arts so I could start my own bakery.
Well, without boring you with the details suffice it to say my husband decided he wanted to make the military a career. Essentially, all I had been working on in the civilian sector for several years came to a screeching halt. Knowing we had military move after military move ahead of us, which would require me to start over each time in my career, we decided the thing that made the most sense for our family was for me to be a stay-at-home-mom.
The problem with that came sooner rather than later, after motherhood, when I was itching to have that thing back that belonged just to me. I have always been very independent to include financially and not having my own passion to pursue beyond the household was a gaping hole just staring me in the face.
It was a bit of a journey to land where I am as a business owner today, but this was the path that let me have something that belongs to me that I didn’t have to leave behind with each and every military move. And today I couldn’t be more involve with what I get to do with my time.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person that you are grateful for, who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
Naturally, there are a lot of people who helped me along the way. I have had wonderful mentors, coaches, and business buddies, but the person I really want to shout out the loudest is me. I’m just kidding. It’s 100% my husband.
Starting your own business is hard. A massive percentage of small businesses fail within the first few years. Failure wasn’t an option for me, but success wasn’t immediate either. It took me so much trial and error to find the one thing I really wanted to pursue. I tried multilevel marketing to start. I had three Etsy shops at one point. Three! Even when I decided to get my certification for coaching, I was starting all over again and that took time to really settle into.
Along the way I stressed, I struggled, and I got frustrated more times than I care to count. I fell into so much doubt around whether I would really ever be a successful business owner. Not one time did my husband express doubt. Never once did he suggest that I just go back to taking care of the household or working outside of the home for somebody else. He has supported me with every twist and turn and I am beyond grateful for him and his support.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
This feels a little like tooting my own horn, but if you insist (wink wink). Compassion, persistence, and a growth mindset are probably 3 of the strongest factors in my success.
Compassion has been such a key factor because it’s something that I have for others. When somebody comes into a session with me, I’ve been told they almost immediately feel at ease. I offer a judgment free zone where my clients can just show up and be exactly as they are without worry of judgment. That really allows people to express what is truly weighing on them, so we can get to the part where we work on relieving them of that heaviness.
This one is twofold, though. I didn’t always have compassion for myself. In fact, I’ve had a lifelong tendency towards perfectionism. Any perfectionist will tell you they are harder on their self than just about anybody else could be on them. I’m no exception to that rule. Through learning to become a coach, though, I also learned to give to myself what I am able to give to others. I learned to give myself grace through my mistakes and the difficult moments. I learned to offer myself compassion where I used to give myself criticism.
That persistence has been a huge factor as well, as you can imagine. Life is going to knock you on your butt, and then do it again and again. The good news is, while I couldn’t identify where it comes from, I can tell you with confidence that when I decide I want something, I’m going for it. Is stubbornness the same as persistence? I’m not sure, but…
I set my heart on starting a business to do something I love. I found that in the work that I do with the women that I support. It doesn’t stop there, though. When I find something that makes so much sense to me, I have to share it with other people. I cannot stand by and watch people struggle with something that I have the answer to. In this particular case, I am speaking about being in a position as a military wife where I felt like I gave up so much. I eventually moved into a place where I figured out how to make pursuing my passions fit into our lifestyle. I didn’t start my bakery, but I did get to have my cake and eat it too. I want that for anybody who wants it for themselves, and I intend to do what I can to support that.
It can probably be argued that the third character trait, a growth mindset, isn’t actually a character trait, but it does feel instrumental in my success. The thing is, it can be really, really easy to get lost in our own limitations. That’s where a growth mindset comes in, though. There is never a lack of limiting beliefs for any one of us to question. I have plenty of those beliefs that I have carried for decades, but having a growth mindset means being able to recognize those beliefs as an old story I am telling myself. I know I get to write my own story and having a mindset that allows me to see possibilities is how I choose to write that story.
Ok, fantastic. Let’s now turn to the crux of our interview. Can you recall a moment when embracing your awkwardness led to a meaningful personal or professional breakthrough? What shifted for you in that experience?
Absolutely. So, about a year and a half ago I started a YouTube channel. In the early days my perfectionist wanted to run the show. So, I have an editor, and I expected her to edit out every single mistake and awkward moment. No way I was going to give the world an opportunity to judge me.
It really did take time for me to find my groove and lean into a more confident way of being. When I did, though, I liked me so much more. There is so much power in liking yourself. How other people feel about you carries a lot less weight when you decide that you like you.
I have a tendency to try to make my mouth keep up with my brain. That’s a recipe for a lot of tongue twister moments. Today when I stumble over words, sometimes it’s entertaining enough that I don’t want it edited out. I’ll just follow it up with “say that 5 times fast” or something that shows I don’t take myself too seriously. I take comfort in the thought that if people don’t enjoy the way I show up, they don’t have to watch me. They’re not my people, and that’s OK. I’m not intended to be for everyone. The world would be pretty dull for us all if everyone agreed on and liked all of the same things.
Many people feel pressure to ‘fit in’ socially. What advice do you have for someone struggling to be their authentic self in a world that often rewards conformity?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to fit in. In fact, being accepted by a group signals to your brain that you are safe. The trouble with fitting in as anyone other than who you authentically are is that you are breaking your own heart. What I mean is, every time you show up in a way that is not authentic to you, you are subconsciously telling yourself you’re not good enough and who you are is undeserving of being liked. That just isn’t true!
The people who are meant for you will always appreciate who you are, quirks and all. Sometimes it can be tough to find someone who’s weird matches your weird, but finding those people is gold. Those are the folks you want to surround yourself with. When you’re with them, that’s when you’ll grow in all of the ways that are meant for you.
If I were to give advice here, it would be this: spend some time thinking about and preferably even journaling on this topic. Answering questions like:
What makes me believe I’m not enough?
How do I feel about myself each time I act in a way that doesn’t align with who I truly am?
What do I need to embody to be confident in showing up as myself?
How do you think embracing your quirks and imperfections can enhance connections with others, especially in professional or high-pressure settings?
I don’t think it’s abnormal to want to put your best foot forward when making new connections. Let me ask you this, last time you met somebody who seems to have it all together, or who absolutely exuded confidence, then the first time they made a mistake or let you see a little of their own weird, how did that make you feel? My guess is, at least if you’re anything like me, it made them seem more relatable.
Besides the fact that showing up as the epitome of perfection all of the time is utterly exhausting and stressful, it’s not relatable. Sure, you may get a lot of pats on the back and plenty of compliments about how you’re so put together. Nobody feels like they can really get close to the person who doesn’t make mistakes, though. And this is coming from a hard-core recovering perfectionist.
When you let your quirky side show, and when you let your imperfections exist without feeling the need to hide it, it makes you human. People can relate to that in some way, and it closes the gap between you.
So much of this is in the way you handle your mistakes and quirks. There’s a difference between making a mistake or saying something awkward, then falling into a pit of shame. Your body language tells all in that moment. Now, what if instead, you embrace the awkwardness. You learn to laugh through the situation. I’m not talking about laughing at yourself in a mocking way. I mean to say when you respect yourself even through the mistakes, and even own them, others will respect you too.
What role does vulnerability play in transforming awkwardness into a superpower? Can you share a time when showing vulnerability opened doors or strengthened relationships?
To let someone see who we are is a totally vulnerable place to be. It opens us up to the possibility of ridicule or judgment. It also opens us up to some of the most amazing relationships we could hope for. It’s how I met my best friend of 30 years, and it’s how I met my husband. It’s also how I’ve met some of my business besties. Many people won’t take that first step to ask you if you want to have coffee with them because they themselves are battling the fear of coming off as awkward or they’re fearful of rejection. But when someone else takes that first step, they are so grateful that your own vulnerability opened that door between you.
I shared with you that I have a lifelong tendency towards perfectionism. And that is true. I also shared with you that when I want something, I go for it. That is also very true. Over the years, that led to a lot of stressful situations because I would go for things that I want, but I would experience horribly negative mind chatter the entire time. I would come out of a scenario and pick apart everything I said and did. That was until I decided I’m going to accept who I am and invite others to do the same.
When I accepted that I won’t always say the right thing and that sometimes I will come off as a complete weirdo, the negative mind chatter didn’t have such a strong foundation from which to stand any longer.
Feeling empowered to initiate the connections I want to have with super cool people feels a lot like a superpower.
What are “5 Ways To Embrace Your True Self”?
1. Learn to put that inner critic to bed. When you hesitate to show up authentically, you leave room for that negative inner voice to run wild. That voice is your own. You do get to control it. In these moments when the inner critic pipes up, dive into a reframe of that negative thought and offer yourself a more empowering one instead.
2. Be intimately connected with your values. When you know what you stand for, stand in that confidently. Knowing your values roots you in purpose, acting as a compass when you face tough decisions or feel overwhelmed by competing priorities. When you’re rooted in what truly matters to you, it becomes easier to filter out distractions, avoid comparison, and stay true to your unique path.
For example, if one of your core values is family, you can confidently say no to opportunities that require sacrificing quality time with your loved ones. When your actions align with your values, you feel a sense of integrity and fulfillment that empowers you to show up authentically in every area of your life. This connection not only boosts your confidence but also reinforces that you are deserving of success on your terms.
For a long time, I didn’t have set office hours in my business. I made myself available because I was afraid I would stifle my growth if I said no to opportunities even if they were taking place during family time. Any you know what? That felt awful! So, I finally set a boundary that I don’t conduct any kind of business outside of a set of office hours. Even now when my schedule doesn’t align with someone else’s who I’m attempting to collaborate with, I get feel a little selfish around having such a rigid schedule, but I remind myself why I set that boundary. Family time is family time, and I value that above just about all else.
What are the things you most value?
3. Do self-love exercises every day. Whether you do some mirror work, or recite affirmations, do things every day that help you to love yourself more deeply. Other people’s opinions just don’t hold as much power when you have a high opinion of yourself. And when you have a positive opinion of yourself, you’re more confident in showing up as you through and through.
When I was going through my coaching certification program, we went through a mirror work experience. Let me tell you, it was awkward to stare at myself in the mirror for a full minute. I didn’t like what I saw. I was in the habit of seeing myself and criticizing what I saw. Gradually I progressed from just staring at my reflection, to saying kind things to myself, to doing it while smiling, and now I love who I see looking back at me. This is definitely an example of embracing the awkward and I’d highly encourage it. You may even catch yourself giving your reflection a little wink before you turn away.
4. Stop the comparison habit! I’m not shouting at you, but I do want you to hear me. Comparing yourself to others is a recipe for low self-esteem. You’ll never measure up to another person, because you’re not meant to. You were just as uniquely created as they were and your strengths are as individually brilliant as theirs, so shine in your own wonderful way.
5. Surround yourself with people who encourage and celebrate you. You can’t embrace your true self if you’re in an environment that stifles it. Find a community of people who inspire you, who believe in you, and who accept you as you are.
Do you believe that celebrating awkwardness can inspire innovation and creativity? How has staying true to yourself influenced your approach to problem-solving or leadership?
100%. Trying to hide your quirks to fit into a mold will only dull your shine. If we’re all just squeezing into a one-size-fits-all box, the world loses the beauty of individuality. When you dare to stand out, that’s when the magic happens. You get to see the unique beauty that blooms from being unapologetically yourself.
It’s like the scene from Encanto when Mirabel tries to get a hug from Isabela. Isabela is stuck in a suffocating cycle of perfection. It’s not until she admits that she’s “stuck being perfect” that something new is born — like a cactus! That’s when she finally embraces the beauty and possibilities that exist beyond the box of perfection.
There are so many examples of famous singers, actor’s, authors, and even inventors that no doubt are as successful as they are because they’re weird. And we love them for it!
In my own journey, I used to fear making mistakes in front of others. I would try to hide my awkwardness, terrified of being judged. But here’s the thing: what I perceived as awkwardness could easily be someone else’s perception of endearing, normal, or even relatable. Who am I to assume how others will perceive me? When I finally decided to let my mistakes exist without judgment, it lifted so much pressure. And honestly, sometimes those mistakes are downright funny! I love making people laugh, and now I embrace those moments instead of hiding from them.
How can our readers further follow your work?
I have a presence in most places online, but here are my favorites:
Website: https://www.heatherjonescoaching.com/
YouTube: https://bit.ly/HeatherJonesCoachingYT
My Podcast: Purpose, Power, and Productivity: A Mompreneur’s Mission
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/heatherjonescoaching
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HeatherJonesCoaching/
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About The Interviewer: Dr. Bharat Sangani is a cardiologist and entrepreneur with over 35 years of experience, practicing in Gulfport, Mississippi, and Dallas, Texas. Board-certified in Internal Medicine and Cardiology, he specializes in diagnosing, treating, and preventing cardiovascular diseases, including heart disease and hypertension. In 1999, Dr. Sangani founded Encore Enterprises, a national real estate investment firm. Under his leadership, the company has executed transactions exceeding $2 billion, with a portfolio spanning residential, retail, hotel, and office developments. Known for his emphasis on integrity and fairness, Dr. Sangani has built Encore into a major player in the commercial real estate sector. Blending his medical and business expertise, Dr. Sangani created the Life is a Business mentorship program. The initiative offers guidance on achieving balance in health, wealth, and relationships, helping participants align personal and professional goals. Now based in Dallas, Texas, Dr. Sangani continues to practice cardiology while leading Encore Enterprises and mentoring others. His career reflects a unique blend of medical expertise, entrepreneurial spirit, and dedication to helping others thrive.
Awkward and Proud: Heather Jones Of Heather Jones Coaching On How Embracing Your True Self Can Be… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.