An Interview With Wanda Malhotra
Find the strength within — Stopping drinking is incredibly powerful and can really change your life.
In a world where the journey towards sobriety is often challenging and deeply personal, understanding the pathways and strategies for achieving and maintaining sobriety is crucial. This series aims to provide insight, encouragement, and practical advice for those who are on the road to recovery, as well as for their loved ones and support networks. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Arabella Featherstone.
Arabella Featherstone is a leading fitness trainer and coach from Feathers Food & Fitness with the vision and drive to help people and transform her clients’ bodies and minds through fitness and nutrition. She supports her clients to build strength and resilience in their bodies and minds and shares her sober life on her Instagram channel @feathersfoodfit. She went sober just over two years ago and to help others, she runs Dry January and Sober October challenges to enable people take back control over their drinking.
Thank you so much for joining us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
I’m Bella! I’d struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember (from the age of 8). I suffered from severe depression and anxiety and it played havoc throughout my childhood.
I got into the fitness industry about 6 years ago now when I discovered how it helped with my anxiety. I was still struggling on and off over the years but fitness developed something inside of me that gave me the strength to eventually change my life for good.
I went sober just over two years ago now and that’s really when things started to change. I managed to fall in love with myself and create a whole new perspective on life.
My first goal was to do three months, but in the back of my head I knew I wanted to go six months sober and here I am 820 days and counting, embracing the clarity, strength, and joy of the sober journey. I may have been forced into sobriety at the time as it felt like the only option, but I chose to stay sober and feel like it was a destiny that found me.
As well as my fitness training and coaching, I have been helping people to get back into control of their drinking and develop a better relationship with alcohol by organizing Dry January and Sober October challenges and I’ve loved how much it has helped them.
You are a successful individual. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
1. Strength — If I hadn’t have found my strength within, I wouldn’t be where I am today. The day i decided to go sober, I had to dig deep. I was miserable and I watched my life flash before my eyes. I saw myself spiraling downhill very quickly and what I saw scared me. It’s been a dream of mine just to be happy, I had this vision of myself and my life and that’s all I wanted. I had hope and the strength within that I could have that, and I felt like that was my last chance to try, so I found that inner strength to say enough was enough and make a real change.
2. Determination — I’ve always been determined and strong willed. I’ve grown up looking at life and thinking I can have what I want, that there are no limits. My favourite quotes is — “I’ll either find a way or make one” and this is something I’ve always lived by. I had been through periods of not drinking alcohol since i went into the health and fitness industry. I did Sober October and Dry January every year and knew i could do a couple of months if i wanted. I guess i never really admitted or thought I had a problem with drinking, so when I did go back to it, I was slowly but surely going downhill from there. I think after so many times back and forth from drinking to not drinking, once things did get so bad it was that determination that meant the last time really was the last time.
3. Independence — Ever since childhood I’ve been more of the wolf than the sheep and I’ve always preferred being alone rather than in crowds. I’ve lived alone a lot and definitely learnt that being alone and being lonely are two very different things. It has probably been a bit of a blessing and a curse though, my independence has also come across as arrogance, thinking I can do everything by myself. At the beginning of my sober journey, I went at it solo. I’d go as far as to say that I have an obsession with wanting to do things by myself. It’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself, but the more I understand my traits, the more I can use them to my advantage. The biggest thing about my independence is that because I spend a lot of time by myself, I got to use the extra time I had by not being hungover or going out drinking to learn about myself.
I couldn’t have one of these without the other. They all played a huge part in my success. First I found the strength, then I used my determination to follow things through and my independence meant that alone time was spent wisely.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that might help people?
Yes we are actually and we’re very excited about it. Feathers Fitness is evolving, and we’re moving to our new home at Plaza Blanca on March 4th! We have been based in Puerto Sotogrande for almost 3 years and are beyond excited to be evolving to our brand new studio at the new development of Plaza Blanca. It’s going to be much bigger and we’ll be able to run a more diverse range of classes, offer an open gym and will even be opening a café and smoothie bar to give clients the chance to grab some nutritious and delicious food after their workouts.
We’re also working on developing our members-only community. This exclusive space offers on-demand workouts, a wellness blog, and more to keep clients motivated and informed. Additionally, the new memberships include access to the Feathers Fitness coaching app. This powerful tool allows clients to track your progress, set goals, and stay connected with your fitness journey anytime, anywhere.
It’s a very busy time as you can imagine, but we can’t wait to get in and for the business to grow and evolve.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of our interview. How would you advise individuals who are contemplating the journey to sobriety but might be hesitant or unsure about taking the first step? Are there key considerations or strategies that can make this initial phase more manageable?
I’d say that the key is to understand that there is nothing bad that will come from going sober. You are NOT giving something up, but rather gaining so much more. Reframing the way you think about alcohol is the key.
Getting started with anything is always going to be hard, you’re always worried that you’re going to fail and end up feeling like a failure, but don’t let that stop you. The thing that worked well for me when I went sober was I didn’t give myself the option of failing. I just said to myself — I AM DOING THIS.
One thing you’ve got to understand is you are never going to know what you can do or what you’re capable of unless you try. What is the worst thing that can happen? You try and it didn’t work out like you expected… that’s OK! All you can do is learn from it and understand what went wrong, why it didn’t work out and how you can do it differently next time to ensure success.
Look at me, I tried the whole no alcohol thing for years before I actually went sober for good. Just be kind with yourself and willing to learn and know that it’s OK to make mistakes. It might not be easy, but just dig deep, find your strength within, remember your WHY and remind yourself of this every day. Find something or someone that keeps you accountable, I think that’s super important. The “I Am Sober App” is what got me through it.
Sobriety often comes with its unique set of challenges. Can you share insights on how individuals can effectively navigate obstacles or triggers that may arise during their journey? Are there specific tools or support systems that you find particularly helpful in overcoming these challenges?
When I went sober I fell in love with the challenge. Every single life event or situation was a challenge to navigate sober and I had to change a lot of things. I knew to make this work I needed to look at my drinking patterns / triggers. So step one was to ask myself what situations arise that usually lead me to drink and those are usually going to be the situations that cause uncomfortable feelings, like anxiety.
Step two was to try to avoid or limit putting myself in these situations until I felt like i had full control.
Step three was to prepare myself, so if I did end up in one of these situations I knew what to do to ensure I stayed on track. I didn’t really go out into the social world until I was 3 months sober. I knew this was a turning point as it takes 90 days to build a habit, so I very much kept myself to myself for those initial 90 days. I went to work and I went home and that was it.
When I did start navigating social situations again I just said to myself that if anything made me feel uncomfortable I could just leave that situation, take a deep breath and go home if needed. For me, from the day i went sober I knew I couldn’t drink again. It just wasn’t an option, because I was in such a bad place that if i carried on or did have a drink things could have gotten so much worse and I didn’t want to risk that. Once that decision was made, it was much easier, as there wasn’t a battle between drinking and not drinking. It was just saying I don’t drink now, so I have to figure out a way to deal with all this uncomfortable stuff.
Maintaining sobriety is a long-term commitment. From your experience, what are the essential factors that contribute to the sustained success of individuals on this journey? Are there lifestyle adjustments or mindset shifts that prove crucial for the ongoing pursuit of sobriety?
It’s definitely a mindset shift. If you think about the reasons why you have a drink it’s usually either –
A. In social situations, celebrations etc.
B. In emotional situations, because you’re stressed and want to “unwind” or you’re using it to numb emotional pain (this was me).
You’ve got to remember that this is about you, and only you. So ask yourself some important questions –
- What do you want?
- How do you want to feel?
- Where does alcohol fit into your life?
Shifting your mindset on this is going to be a game changer and the only way to ensure your sustained success. It’s a beautiful journey though, you get to learn so much about yourself, things become a lot clearer and you get to forgive yourself and move forward in the direction you want to be heading. There is so much to gain, so shifting to that perspective is really important.
Based on your research or experience, can you please share your “5 Things You Need To Begin, Navigate, & Sustain Sobriety”?
1 . Set intentions — Think about your goals for your drinking, what positive changes are you hoping to see in your life and why you’re deciding to make a change to your drinking habits, or stopping for good. Look at the many benefits to stopping drinking, to your health, your finance and your family life. Not drinking saves you money, gives you a more positive outlook and a clear head every day, which is massive. You can expect better skin, improved sleep and you’ll give your immune system and overall health a massive boost too.
Making sure your WHY is really clear and backed up by lots of excellent reasons will really help your resolve. Write these important intentions and reasons down and put them somewhere visible so they can remind and encourage you every day and keep you accountable.
2 . Understand your habits and triggers — I ask my clients to write down situations where they tend to drink and also triggers that makes them want to turn to alcohol. This could be anything like an argument with a friend, a tough day at work, or receiving bad news. You can always come back to any of these and add to them whenever you think of something else. It’s an ongoing process and you’ll learn a lot about yourself along the way and become a lot more mindful around the situations you drink alcohol.
Look at when and where you tend to drink and where it will be hardest for you to say no and then decide how you’ll approach that. When I went sober, I limited a lot of socialising to ensure my success and I realised I didn’t miss out on anything. If you think you’ll struggle to say no when you go out then maybe don’t put yourself in those situations just yet until you really feel like you’ve got the power to say no to a drink.
Understanding your triggers and then developing distraction techniques or coping strategies really helps you to maintain control.
3 . Plan, plan, plan — There’s so much more to life than drinking, but sometime it can be hard to think about them. I love to plan some pampering time for long evenings where you might usually pour yourself a drink. Have a bath, paint your nails, read a book, listen to some music and be with yourself for a change. Then why not arrange to meet friends and do something different? Go for a walk or a bike ride, try a new activity or hobby, go for a drive, join a fitness class or outdoor group activity, or cook up a storm in the kitchen and batch cook loads of yummy and nourishing food to sustain you. Change those nights out in the pub with friends to breakfast instead, for a lot of fun, without the alcohol.
Another important thing to plan and prepare for is how you will navigate social situations without alcohol and be ready to feel uncomfortable from time to time, without losing your resolve. From my sober experience the biggest thing I’ve learnt is the situations where I’ve felt uncomfortable, are important and I’ve got through all of them and so will you. This is where you grow, where you learn things about yourself you never knew, it’s truly transformational. Your true self alcohol free is an amazing person don’t forget that!
If you’re out and around alcohol and feeling uncomfortable, take a deep breath and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, remember that you’re allowed to say no and you don’t have to justify yourself. If you become really overwhelmed just take a step back, walk away for a bit and compose yourself, or just leave. It’s OK! There will be ups and downs but I promise you you’ll get through it and be able to face these situations easier every time.
4 . Stock up on some alcohol-free drinks — Some of my favourites are Tanqueray Gin 0.0%, Nosecco / French Bloom 0%, Non-alcoholic rose and NIO alcohol free cocktails, but there are plenty of options out there now.
When you have these options on standby, it really helps. If you’ve got a house party to go to, dinner at a friends, or just fancy a drink after work then you’ll be prepared and have something non-alcoholic to look forward to that’s not just squash or water. This is what saved me when I first went sober. As I will continue to say, preparation is key. This way when you’re at your friends for dinner and everyone’s having wine at the table you can still sit there with a wine glass of nosecco or your zero percent gin and tonic and still feel like you’re a part of it.
Unfortunately, there is still a lot of stigma when it comes to not drinking. Please don’t give into peer pressure, you’re better than that! I’ve found that if people have a problem with you not drinking then that’s their own issue they’ve got to deal with and not yours and it reflects far more on them than it does you. I was fortunate and actually got a lot of respect from people when I stopped drinking, there were the odd ones that laughed and didn’t think it would last, but here I am more than 2 years sober and still going. Very much enjoying my clear head and non-alcoholic alternatives.
5. Find the strength within — Stopping drinking is incredibly powerful and can really change your life.
It’s about uncovering your true potential and finding your strength within. It’s about taking upon a challenge and ticking it off the list so you know that you CAN do it, and you CAN do anything you put your mind to.
It takes STRENGTH to achieve things like this, strength which you have inside you. You may just not realise how strong you are, but trust me it’s there! The mind can really do anything you want it to, it’s under your complete control and I want you to remind yourself of that every single day. You can change your thoughts and feeling in any given moment, all it takes is a little strength.
To help you find that power, write down 5 aspects that represent your unique strengths. Write them down and put them somewhere you can see them daily, so you can remind yourself of those strengths and own it!
You’ve got to be your biggest cheerleader, you’ve got to pick yourself up when you’re down, because there may not be anyone else around to do it for you. I am rooting so hard for you and I expect you to be rooting for yourself just as hard (if not harder). I know from personal experience just how amazing life looks without alcohol.
Two years ago I was depressed and was struggling with confidence and motivation.
It was bad. The problem was that I was trying everything. I wanted to feel happy but I just couldn’t seem to get there, even if I was trying to exercise and eat well.
I knew I needed to change something because I was losing hope.
Fast forward to today and I am now 2 years sober and I achieved the confidence I was looking for.
The best thing is that I wake up every day with a clear head and excited for what’s to come.
I still get dark days, but they are never as dark as they were and they pass much quicker. I never thought I’d be where I am today or ever thought I’d feel true happiness. I’ve made it my mission to help people find their strength within like I did through fitness and sober challenges because without it I really don’t know where I’d be today.
Community support plays a vital role in the journey to sobriety. How can individuals find and engage with supportive communities or resources that align with their specific needs and goals? Are there online platforms, local groups, or initiatives that you recommend for fostering a sense of connection and understanding during this process?
I found the “I Am Sober” App very useful. Alcohol Change UK also offer excellent communities and resources through their Dry January and Sober Spring Challenges. They send daily emails, there are Facebook groups which offer community support and advice during the challenges and beyond, and their Try Dry app is excellent for keeping you on track. Of course, AA is also an excellent network if you have a problem with alcohol and you want to stop for good.
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
Follow my sober journey and get health and fitness tips and motivation on my Instagram channel @feathersfoodfit. You can also head over to my website www.feathersfoodfit.com and download my free e-book Unlocking the Strength Within, or sign up to one of my online coaching programmes.
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com .
Arabella Featherstone Of Feathers Food & Fitness On How to Begin, Navigate, & Sustain Sobriety was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.