Surround yourself with the right relationships — those that will not only encourage you but also honestly assess what you may need to move forward.
As a part of our series called “Grit: The Most Overlooked Ingredient of Success” I had the pleasure of interviewing Chris McMurray.
Chris McMurray is an entrepreneur, mentor, coach, and speaker specializing in business insights and non-profit strategy. He has made countless media appearances including national and regional television and radio programs. He loves inspiring others to achieve new heights and reach their full potential. When he isn’t writing or traveling to speak he is the king of his daughters’ carpool! Chris is married to his best friend and true confidant, Kelly, and they live with their two beautiful daughters in Orlando, Florida. While he has worked for many businesses, large and small, his favorite work is at home with his family.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about the events that have drawn you to this specific career path?
I grew up in the home of a serial entrepreneur. I guess you could say it’s in my blood. I have always been very comfortable with the consistent discomfort of complacency. My dad was an early franchisee in the bustling fuel business with Exxon. He was always a bootstrapping businessman, always solving for yes for his customers. It was in this environment that I learned to value the freedom of being my own boss and owning my own destiny. My dad showed me the power of tenacity and to never give up — even if it meant a total course correction.
I knew from a very early age that there was something great inside of me. While there were many moments of questioning myself and my abilities, I always picked myself up and used what others would see as failures as stepping stones for the next adventure. To many, being an entrepreneur would seem like an immense weight to be responsible for my own potential but to me, it means that I own and step into the horizon of unlimited opportunity.
This feeling is what led me to be a business owner, a franchisor, and now a director for a Fortune 500 company. The drive to never settle and solve for yes have been a pillar in all of these endeavors.
Can you share your story about “Grit and Success”? First can you tell us a story about the hard times that you faced when you first started your journey?
Early on in my career, I had a number of failures from event planning to poor real estate investments that left our family drowning under the deep waters of debt. We had a difficult time making ends meet after a series of failures and every step was weighed with the crippling impacts of those early decisions.
After navigating this path to the point of a near mental and emotional breakdown, Kelly and I made the excruciating decision to apply for temporary state assistance, food stamps. In this season I would look at my two beautiful children and feel the added weight of my inability to provide for their basic needs. I grieved deeply every time I swiped that food stamp card and hid that pain from everyone includsing our family and friends.
This is by far the lowest place I have ever been.
Where did you get the drive to continue even though things were so hard?
For me, the drive to continue was found in the longing and expectant eyes of our two little girls. I wanted so desperately to not only provide for their basic needs but give them the space to thrive.
My legacy was at stake and drove me into and through the crucible that the early days of owning our own business turned out to be.
Later, I was driven to provide an environment where others could build their own legacy for the generations that followed them. This was central and foundational to replicating our business for other franchisees.
So how did Grit lead to your eventual success? How did Grit turn things around?
Within me was an unwavering commitment that we cannot fail again. Now there were little lives that depended on our success. While we were grateful for the short-term support, I never wanted to return to the place where we had to depend on the support of others to provide for our family’s needs.
Through grit (and stubbornness) to not give up we eventually found light at the end of the tunnel and caught a glimpse of the fertile fields of success.
It’s important to note that our success was never defined by money in the bank, the car in the garage, or the neighborhood we lived in. Success, to us, was found in our ability to give. If we were at a place where we were not restricted in our giving to others then to me that was successful.
Based on your experience, can you share your “5 Things You Need To Know To Develop More Grit”?
- Dig in and discover your why.
Without a genuine understanding of your why, you and your endeavor will be quite fragile along the way. What is your why? To answer that question, you can ask yourself, “What problem does my passion solve? What question is answered by my dream?” The truth is, that great ideas start with perceiving and then meeting a need. Money itself is simply a reward for solving problems for someone.
Discovering this why will anchor you. People without this motivating mission statement will fold when the revenue drops or quit when people are difficult. To overcome big obstacles you need an even bigger driving force.
2. Anticipate failure and how you might leverage the failure to be a stepping stone.
The lesson is this: sometimes we have to experience failure to get us to the ultimate success. Failure is not a final stop but a building block. Ultimate success is not reached through many successes, but often…many failures. Our story exemplifies many of these realities, and I pray it brings you hope so that you too can rise above where you are and learn from those dark places of failure. I hope you find the courage to faithfully step out into your destiny. Stepping out and failing is only temporary. Staying where you are and never moving forward is permanent. Which price are you willing to pay?
3. Surround yourself with the right relationships — those that will not only encourage you but also honestly assess what you may need to move forward.
We continually tell our girls ‘you are who you hang with.’ One way to ensure a loss of grit when times get tough is to surround yourself with people who give up in the lean times. If you desire to find success and the other side of adversity you have to lean into and depend on the relationships that surround us. If you have the right people they will encourage you to keep pressing in on your vision. Your circle should celebrate with you but also challenge you to realistically look at your situation. These key partners will be very valuable in your pursuit of your passion.
4. Decide ahead of time what your non-negotiables are.
The best decisions are made before you are forced to make them. Grounded values and vision will prevent flawed decision-making when the pressure is on. Most people agree that it is not uncommon to mis-step when we are under pressure and this can quickly lead to your demise in business. Get firm on this foundation adn nothing will shake you when the trouble waters come.
5. Force yourself to look back and honestly assess successes and failures — use this to make adjustments and propel you forward — consistently improving on your people, processes, and products.
Evaluate the effectiveness of every initiative. Be prepared to honestly assess the outcomes and be willing to build or scratch the idea moving forward.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped you when things were tough?
My wife, Kelly is my inspiration and I am forever grateful that she made the choice to hang in there as a partner, friend, and companion. As we have made this journey together, she has been pushed to the outermost limits of her capacity. I am grateful that even in the seasons where she had a differing opinion, she did not insist on that opinion. She has loved me through multiple hair-brained ideas that she knew would never solidify and yet, together we have known the thin places where we lived in need and the wonderful freedom found through wholeness and healing of success. But, we have made this journey together.
Can you share a story about that?
There was a point early in our journey when Kelly was learning how to navigate the ‘new-to-her’ waters of entrepreneurship. She had heard several new ideas from me and we had been through a number of difficulties and failures. When I shared the idea of Crumb & Get It Cookie Company with her she had a natural and understandable hesitation since we still had deep wounds from our failed endeavors.
One night I was dreaming and sharing with her and she asked me to stand up and look her in the eyes. She shared that it didn’t matter what we were doing so long as we were doing it together. This statement was like fuel to my fire and in that moment she demonstrated for the first of many times, her ability to share truth with me honestly while not crushing my deeply rooted inner entrepreneur.
There is not another person that I have encountered with more grit and fortitude than my wife Kelly.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
In those early days of failure after failure, I made the commitment that if I ever found any level of success I would generously give as much as I could possibly stand in hopes that this would give someone else the opportunity to rise above their circumstances. I have always found great joy in seeing others find their success, however they define it.
A high level of generosity is another pillar of our business model — even if it means a sacrifice on our part.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now?
I have a brand new book launching this month called ‘Food Stamps to Franchise: A Life Journey from Brokenness to Success.’
Through a series of personal stories of trials and triumphs, I share openly about the struggle between lows and highs. Each chapter also brings practice and applicable business lessons that I hope will inspire others to start again and find the grit to continue on.
Find out more at www.foodstampstofranchise.com
How do you think that will help people?
My heart is to see others overcome their personal trials and find the strength to pick themselves up, find their footing, and begin again.
I have always found great joy in seeing others elevated and inspired. My hope is that the reader will hear me saying ‘You can do it!’
What advice would you give to other executives or founders to help their employees to thrive?
Knowing how to do the job is the accomplishment of the worker. Ensuring the work is being done right is the accomplishment of a manager, and inspiring others to do the job right is the responsibility of the leader.
These are critical pieces to consider when making your plans for business. Knowing what kind of people you want in every position is an essential decision to make before you turn the first wrench on your business idea.
Wouldn’t it be cool if every person you hired was fully committed to your vision? The quest for us as leaders is how do we inspire others to buy into our vision. Is it
your presence on the sales floor? Would it be your belief in each person to achieve greatness? Could you do more than say you are interested in promoting your team, and actually promote someone?
In my experience, this is accomplished in settings where mere words are not enough. Culturally, people are done with lip service. This means that nearly every person on your team will judge your leadership by what you actually put into practice. Meaning, you need to show them more than you tell them. This is the true measure of effective leadership.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
The movement would have giving at its core. While profits are a wonderful byproduct to success, the real success in a movement would be to give away more than what is earned in profit. The result would be elevating many aspiring entrepreneurs to achieve success and we would all collectively benefit from a broader spirit of generosity.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
Walt Disney, one of my heroes, was famous for meeting challenges and asking the question, ‘Why is this impossible?’ He pushed the envelope and as a result, his legacy continues to be critical in the success of The Walt Disney Company. He famously said, ‘If you can dream it, you can do it.’ He understood his reason for being and didn’t allow anything to keep him from fleshing it out. He knew how to detour, how to pivot, and how to take big hits on the chin. You and I need this same grit in navigating failure. Ask yourself questions like, ‘How will I respond to trials?’ and, ‘Who will I turn to when it seems impossible to succeed?’ These questions will develop an attitude within that says, ‘I cannot fail. I have no other choice but to succeed’ — this is the space where sheer grit can help propel us to success.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChrisMcMurraySpeaks
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/pastorchrismc/
Twitter: @pastorChrisMc
Threads: https://www.threads.net/@pastorchrismc
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/chrismcmurrayspeaks
Web: www.foodstampstofranchise.com
Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.
Chris McMurray On The Five Ways To Develop More ‘Grit’ was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.