An Interview with Maria Angelova
Have a strong “Why” that will inspire you to take action: Our “Why” to lower the divorce rate and show couples how to have a relationship that not only lasts the test of time, but also inspires the world is what inspired us to take uncomfortable action daily.
It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Chad Osinga.
Chad is a retired US Army sniper who has experienced many challenges since birth. Despite being faced with immense hardship, Chad found a way to turn his pain into his purpose and obstacles into opportunities. As a resilience expert, Chad helps his clients uncover the legend within themselves and begin to thrive in life by also turning their obstacles into great opportunities.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
First, thank you for having me. It is truly an honor. I grew up in a small town in the Shenandoah Valley. I was born with Erb’s Palsy, a learning disability, and a mother addicted to crack cocaine. My mother struggled with drug use for many years. Unfortunately, her dependency on alcohol and cocaine became stronger. As a result, she brought the men she was buying drugs from to live and operate their drug business out of our home.
At fourteen years old my home was raided by law enforcement. My mother was sent to federal prison and I to family in Oklahoma. My move to Oklahoma was intended to be a reset in my life, a place where I would be able to taste a better life. That was not the case. For roughly eighteen months, I would be physically and emotionally abused by my aunt and uncle. Finally, having enough I ran away and made it back to Virginia safely.
Eventually, I found the woman of my dreams. We got married and I decided I needed to provide a better life. So, I joined the US Army where I would become a sniper and combat applications instructor. I had the privilege of training every branch of the military, FBI, US Marshals, SWAT, DEA, and many other organizations.
While at the height of my career tragedy would strike. My five-year-old daughter would have a stroke. In a matter of minutes, our lives all changed. Doctors told us she would never walk, talk, or eat on her own ever again. However, armed with a relentless attitude his daughter would prove the doctor wrong by doing everything they said she would not be able to do.
My wife and I had two more children and they would be diagnosed with autism. Both were on different spectrums, one would be non-verbal for seven years, and our youngest would struggle with severe meltdowns. Our hands were full, but together we found the greatness hidden in our struggles. And we worked tirelessly to ensure they would be able to have a meaningful life.
Once I retired I began riding motorcycles, and tragedy would strike two more times. 2018 I would be t-boned while riding my motorcycle by a careless driver traveling at forty-five miles per hour. Not even two years after I would be hit off my motorcycle once more.
This time my injuries were very severe, I would be in ICU for seven days, in the hospital for fourteen days, flat line twice, and have seven surgeries. Doctors told me I would not walk for at least eighteen months, but determined, I was able to walk in just five months.
The best thing that could have ever happened to me was this last accident. Many look at me funny when I say that, but the truth is I was going down a bad path before the last accident. I had all but given up on life. While in ICU I faced the man in the mirror and received a revived spirit for life. My purpose was clear and so were the trials I had faced up to this point.
Today, I help others unleash the legend that is within them. I have a lofty goal of helping as many people as possible unleash the legend within them. Everything I do is to move the needle closer to this goal. I truly enjoy helping people lean into their potential and rise to heights they had only dreamed of previously.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“What does not kill you, only makes you stronger.” Throughout my life, I have had to face tremendous difficulties. From my mother being addicted to crack and overdosing and passing away, to my daughter having a stroke at five years old, to recently when a car hit me off my motorcycle at sixty-five miles per hour. I can honestly say that each trial, hardship, and setback has actually made me not just stronger, but a better version of myself.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
I am a big reader and the list of books that have impacted my life is quite long, but if I had to pick one I would say it was “The Power Of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. At the time of reading it, I was pursuing how to be more conscious and using my mind, rather, than being used by my mind. Learning how to activate the power of now in my life has helped me in every area of my life. I made a shift from allowing my past and future to have dominance to understanding the only thing that is real is right now. I began becoming very intentional and focusing on the moment, which led to my future being better than I could have ever imagined or dreamed.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?
Getting outside of your comfort zone is about leaving the familiarity and entering the waters of the unknown. Essentially, it is about stretching ourselves, learning about who we really are and what we are truly capable of accomplishing by pushing ourselves beyond our perceived limits.
Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?
There are several powerful reasons why we should be in a constant state of pushing past our comfort zones. You will become stronger mentally, spiritually, and physically. It builds self-confidence and increases resilience; additionally, it spurs our self-development. But, the top thing it does is help activate our potential and show us the many different facets of ourselves. Unknown waters bring out unknown qualities that have laid dormant within us.
Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?
You may have some success without stretching yourself, but I do believe it will be very limited and you will plateau quickly. All of my massive leaps of growth have come on the other side of my comfort zone. For instance, after my second motorcycle accident, where a van going sixty-five miles per hour merged carelessly into my lane and placed me and my motorcycle into a Jersey barrier doctors told me I would not walk for at least eighteen months. As you can imagine that was a large pill to swallow and for the first month after I left my fourteen-day intensive care unit stay I felt that diagnosis would be very true. The easiest thing for me to do at that point was to just sit in my recliner, allow my family to do everything for me, and just wait for the eighteen months to zip by. No one would blame me for “milking” my recovery. One day I told myself, “No!” At that point, I decided to step into the unknown and begin working on defying the odds set against me. It was hard, it hurt, and everyone thought I was crazy for doing the opposite of what most would do. I shut the noise out, set my course, and did not look back. In five months I took my first steps using a walker. By the time I went to see my surgeon, I was walking with just a cane. My doctor could not believe his eyes as I had just done what no one thought was possible. That is the power of living outside of your comfort zone.
Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?
My wife and I decided to start a marriage coaching business. We have been together for twenty-six years, married for nineteen of those years and we knew we had a great deal of value to give to those who desire a lasting and loving marriage. But, we knew little about starting a business, gaining clients consistently, or how to even market ourselves. My wife and I both are not big on putting ourselves on camera, or letting people into our lives. Needless to say, when we were advised to begin making videos, a podcast, and allowing people into our lives we were very hesitant. I will never forget the first few videos we recorded for Facebook. We would record, watch it, and then erase the video, and then rerecord because we were unsure if people would resonate with it.
We continued to stretch ourselves, continued to record videos, and each time we became more and more comfortable being stretched. Today we have a course, podcast, Facebook Group we go live in weekly, and a phenomenal coaching business. More importantly, we are now helping couples build relationships that are thriving, and for us being in a position to help others makes it all worth it.
Here is the central question of our discussion. What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?
Have a strong “Why” that will inspire you to take action: Our “Why” to lower the divorce rate and show couples how to have a relationship that not only lasts the test of time, but also inspires the world is what inspired us to take uncomfortable action daily.
Take small consistent steps.To many people try and do the hardest thing right out of the gate. But, I think it is prudent to start small and gradually build on over time. When I was learning to walk I would attempt to just stand. In the beginning it was all I could do to just get off the seat, but I just kept at it. Building on to it over time I finally got to a place where I could stand without assistance. Consistency is key.
Do hard things as often as possible: Stepping out of our comfort zone in mostly mental, so the more you you do hard and uncomfortable things the more you begin to change the narrative about what you believe about yourself. For instance, my wife and I take cold showers almost every night. Why? Because we do hard things and it gives us the confidence to do other hard things in different areas of life.
Change up your routines: Change is healthy, but humans are creatures of habit. That being said it is good to change up your routines and try new ways of accomplishing tasks.
Reframe your fears and things that intimidate you: As I said earlier the camera kind of freaked my wife and I out. So inorder to overcome it we reframed why we had to do. This also why having a strong why to lean on is so important. We looked at the camera as an opportunity to impart our knowledge and be a helping hand to people who really needed our insight into marriage. The reframe helped us take action and once we took action we broke the bond of hesitation and fear in our life.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?
Humans have many reasons that they use to stay comfortable, but I believe those reasons boil down into two main causes. The first is fear of failure. There is a misconception with failure, we believe its somehow bad, but in reality missing the mark is the greatest teacher that exists in life. The truth is there is no growth, and no success without failing. In fact, failure is the wrong word, because we either win or learn in life. Perseverance is the gatekeeper to all growth and if you are willing to learn from each misstep success will undoubtedly be yours.
The second and probably the most important reason people will not push past their comfort zone is unbelief. Deep within so many don’t believe they are capable to sail in the waters of the unknown. It is this unbelief that primes their fear and stagnates their growth.
There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?
Doing something that scares us every day means to face the things in your life you have avoided due to the uncertainty that surrounds it, or things that have given us a bad experience in the past. For example, many have a fear of public speaking. At work you may be able to begin facing this fear by speaking up at a meeting with your peers. I dont think you have to jump into the ocean not knowing how to swim. But, I believe taking steps to prepare and then eventually jumping into the ocean is what is meant by doing something that scares you daily.
I do believe it is healthy to face your fears in every area of life as it provides a confidence in yourself that will bleed into every other area of one’s life. When I was in the Army we were made to do many scary things. One of which was an obstacle named Jacobs Ladder. This thirty-five foot tall obstacle consisted of ten wooden beams ascending to the top like a ladder. Soldiers must climb up each beam broing their body over the top and work their way down to the bottom of Jacobs ladder. I will never forget looking up and telling myself there is no way I could climb this. The stories I told myself in the minutes leading up to making the climb were book worthy, but when you face the fear step by step you take the pen and begin writing your own story.The confidence, resilience, and belief in self you gain from doing the things that scare you will elevate you.The same focus I needed to work myself through this obstacle became the same I would use to become a sniper though they were two different activities.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I am a firm believer that there is a spiritual solution for every problem. Today, more than ever in history people are hurting despite living in the most convenient and prosperous time on this planet. If I were to influence a movement, it would be a spiritual revolution. One, that inspires people to look within for comfort, hope, joy, and peace. Everything we have ever needed has been within us, we have just been looking in the wrong places for those things. When people begin looking within and finding their spiritual solutuons, violence, suicide, depression, and even divorces would decrease massively.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
I would love to sit down with Eckhart Tolle. His book”The Power Of Now” changed my life and I would love the opportunity to spend some time talking with him.
How can our readers follow you online?
Website- https://mybulletproofmarriages.com
On Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/chad.osinga
Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/mybulletproofmarriage/
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
Chad Osinga On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone To Grow Both Personally and Professionally was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.