Courtney Meyers Of The Intentional Home & Living On How Simplifying & Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier
An Interview With Drew Gerber
We will take your initial assessment and expand upon it with a stream-of-consciousness writing session (Expand & Express). This allows you to truly grasp the energy you encounter in your space, and let your spirit speak through you, helping you to understand what is working and what is not.
We live in a time of great excess. We have access to fast fashion, fast food, and fast everything. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. How can we simplify and focus on what’s important? How can we let go of all the clutter and excess and find true happiness? In this interview series, we are talking to coaches, mental health experts, and authors who share insights, stories, and personal anecdotes about “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make Us Happier.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Courtney Meyers.
Courtney Meyers is a Daytime Emmy Nominated Writer & Producer turned Intuitive Host, Coach & Author on a mission to help others in their journey to connect with their most authentic self. With that mission in mind, she founded The Intentional Home & Living, aiming to bring one’s heart and home together. In doing so, she is helping to break through the façade-facing lives we have come to accept in order to bring authentic beauty back into the world and back into one’s soul.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
A façade.
I’ve never been one to put up a façade in public. My face betrayed every emotion I’d ever felt. My anxiety caused me to have diarrhea of the mouth. My life story was yours for the taking. Every insecure thought, moment of doubt, heartbreak, or hurt was fair game for whoever crossed my path.
But when you crossed the threshold of my door, like magic, that façade appeared.
It’s fitting that the word façade harkens back to the front of a building because that’s exactly what allowed me to create the perfect façade in my prior life. I say prior because I took a wrecking ball to that life not long ago.
I bought my first home in 2014. And it was rough. But with the help of my realtor mom and contractor dad, I turned it into a masterpiece. A beautiful façade ready to welcome in the likes of Architecture Digest. But behind those designer doors, I was dying inside.
Despite the magazine-worthy finishes and custom curated décor, the home I had so carefully designed turned into a prison for my spirit. Although it would take a worldwide pandemic for me to realize this.
At the start of the pandemic, I was freshly married, a new mom, and a Hollywood producer. I was living the life I had always dreamed of, in the home I had built. I was sleep-deprived and overworked as most new parents are, giving myself no time to take stock of what had been building inside of me for years.
Then one day in March, everything stopped. The world stopped. I stopped.
And when you stop, you wake up.
With nothing but time on my hands, my job was a Covid casualty, I began to realize, this home I had built wasn’t mine. Yes, I was on the title. Yes, I had picked out the furniture and finishes. Yes, I paid the mortgage. But I didn’t truly have ownership of it. I never did. From day one, I had given that ownership over to my parents. I constantly consulted them on every project, called them for every repair, and discussed every possible move made when it came to my living environment.
I now found myself nearing 40, with a complete lack of control over my own home, and therefore, my own life. How did it come to this?
I had to reclaim myself. And with that decision, my spirit was reignited. There was freedom flickering in my future, I could feel it.
After many long nights discussing our options and research worthy of a thesis, my husband and I decided that it was time to move. Not just out of our house. But into a new life. Into a new world.
And two years later, we packed up our two kids, two and under, and our dog, and we drove cross country from San Diego to our new home, bought sight unseen in Tennessee. And it was exactly what we had hoped for.
That’s not to say that our new home doesn’t need a little love here and there, but that fresh, country air, southern hospitality, and freedom to make our own choices brought me back on a soul level and spirited my creativity in ways in which I had only dreamed. It has led me down a path of creation.
The Intentional Home & Living is a product of this inspired new life I am now living.
As an intuitive designer and coach, it is my mission to tap into your heart and bring your inner-most self to life in your home and beyond.
The home is important, yes.
But all the fancy finishes in the world cannot bring inspiration and life into a place that isn’t designed with your spirit in mind, as my story so clearly demonstrates. So, we must start with YOU. It is YOU who breathes life into your home. It is YOU who curates the energy. It is YOU who will live in this house. And it is YOU who will create the intentions that light it up.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
When it comes to tapping into one’s inner-self, so many interesting stories are unearthed, but one story stands out in spades as it brings to light how courageous you have to be in order to dive deep and truly take stock of your surroundings and situations.
This became apparent in my first consult with an almost client of mine. Lindsay reached out wanting to revamp one of her bedrooms. It was doing double duty in her home, acting as both an office and a guest room, and it was in desperate need of a makeover.
On the surface, the redecorating of Lindsay’s room seemed simple enough. But once we began discussing what she wanted out of the redesign, major hurdles began to present themselves. Her attachment to the furniture (although outdated and oversized for the space) was strong. The closet, packed to the brim with boxes was off-limits. And the multi-use of the room was not agreed upon by her and her husband.
With these hurdles laid out before us, I began to dig deeper, trying to get to the heart of why these non-negotiables were so important, as most of them were just things. But these “things” had a history. A history that harkened back to a family trauma long since passed, but still very present in her heart.
Not ready to truly face the extent to which this trauma impacted her daily, Lindsay was held hostage by this space. She could not come to terms with things changing, although she desired the change. She was caught in an emotional limbo of her own creation. And that energy resonated throughout the room stalling all efforts in our design journey.
And although our work together did not push past that first consultation, it did open up, not only hers, but my eyes, to the great impact our things have on our lives both good and bad. It solidified the need to be mindful in our motifs, and ever-vigilant in the energy we curate around us.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
My newest venture is my new podcast, Intentional Living with Courtney Meyers. And I couldn’t be more excited about it because it is allowing me to reach a greater audience, touch more lives, and connect on a much deeper level with those who are looking to get more comfortable with their true selves. It is also, surprisingly, teaching me to be more open and vulnerable in my own life, which is a by-product I didn’t quite expect when I started.
The fact is, if I cannot be completely open and honest with others, how could I expect them to do the same with me in our work together? So, in a way, it is allowing me to build a dialogue and invite others into my spiritual journey while imparting lessons and advice I’ve accumulated from my world-renowned mentor and personal experiences.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on the topic of “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier”?
Quite simply, I am an authority on simplifying and decluttering your life in order to live happier because I have personally done it in my own life.
It is impossible to understand the true magnitude of a cluttered home, mind, or soul unless you have experienced it on a real and tangible level. Anyone can help you label & organize or toss & tuck away your things. But understanding the reasons behind why you hold onto something requires talking to your spirit. Grasping the energetic power your belongings wield over you takes an intuitive approach. Accepting you’re subconscious’ hold over your situation or your scenario requires a soul to soul approach.
And luckily, I have been trained by one of the most well-respected and famous spiritual teachers of today, Sonia Choquette. She has held my hand and guided me through my own journey, all while imparting on me the intuitive wisdom that I (and we all) possess. In addition to her tutelage, I have trained in the intuitive arts, intuitive reiki, and intuitive breathwork all culminating in an expansive understanding of the universal energy of everything (including our things).
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. We live in a time of excess. We have access to so much. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. Can you articulate for our readers a few reasons why all of our possessions are not giving us happiness?
The concept of filling the void, the void in this case being happiness, is quite real. And for a majority of us, we fill that void with stuff rather than by trying to understand what we are truly missing in our lives. But what we are missing is connection. Connection to our true self.
It is so much easier to try to find that elusive item that will bring you happiness rather than tap into your emotional body to understand what you’re lacking. It’s a lot more fun too. Our society is steeped in sales tactics to make it so. So, it is no wonder we take the easy road and go for the high of the buy rather than dive deep into the depths of our soul for our why.
The reality is, unhappiness stems from a spirit ignored.
This isn’t all to say that “things” are bad. It is okay to accumulate stuff. But when we allow ourselves to do the work to get to know our spirit, we can begin to surround ourselves with supportive items that inspire, uplift and allow us to thrive.
In layman’s terms, we’re buying the wrong stuff!
On a broader societal level, how do you think this excessiveness may be harming our communities and society?
Anything done to an excess whether deemed good for you or bad for you is harmful.
The fact is, excessiveness, in and of its very self, is excessively outward facing. And by creating a culture of excess (stuff), we’re creating a culture focused on the façade, rather than the authentic. The more inauthentic we are as individuals, the more detached and devoid we become as a whole, and the less likely we are to recognize others for their true selves, creating a spiral effect of projection, misunderstanding, and unworthiness — the perfect trifecta for real mental unease.
The irony of struggling with happiness in modern times is glaring. In many places in the world today, we have more than ever before in history. Yet despite this, so many people are unhappy. Why is simplifying a solution? How would simplifying help people to access happiness?
Most people don’t realize the effect “things” have on them. But the reality is EVERYTHING, including our belongings possess a certain energetic frequency that contributes to our overall vibe. So, when we have too many things, the many different energies overwhelm our senses. If we have the “wrong” things, we are faced with discord in our energetic field. And if we have things that carry with them a negative attachment or memory, we may be flooded by a sense of unease and distress. We may not even realize we have some of these things in our lives, but the energy of them will persist whether we see them or not.
So, it is essential that we take stock of our possessions and really pair them down to the ones that serve us at our core. By curating your belongings, and keeping only the things that bring you a sense of joy, peace and happiness, you begin to intentionally create a vibe that matches the energy you desire, happiness. You also begin to open up space in your home or environment to foster a happier state of being both physically and energetically.
Can you share some insights from your own experience? Where in your life have you transformed yourself from not having enough to finally experiencing enough? For example, many people feel they don’t have enough money. Yet, people define abundance differently, and often, those with the least money can feel the most abundant. Where in your health, wealth, or relationships have you transformed your life?
Abundance is most definitely a state of mind, and it’s something I am continuously working on in my work and personal life. I must admit, I am not the best at maintaining an abundant mindset as I am constantly looking towards bigger, better and greater achievements.
But, with that said, I have very recently, only a few weeks ago actually, found peace in my own home. As my husband and I have both embarked on the entrepreneurship path, things have become financially leaner than what we are used to. Start-ups take time to build. And while this originally was a major source of contention within me, I have begun to become more present in my position. And that alone has been transformational.
From the moment I made the mindset shift to become more present and have more gratitude for the home in which my husband and I are raising our family, I have become less concerned about how we are going to build our ultimate dream home. I have become less forward thinking and more now thinking. I have made a conscious choice to find the beauty in our situation, and remember how only a year ago, this home was all I could think and talk about. I am essentially already living one of my dreams, and that is more than enough.
People, places, and things shape our lives. For example, your friends generate conversations that influence you. Where you live impacts what you eat and how you spend your time. The “things” in your life, like phones, technology, or books impact your recreation. Can you tell us a little about how people, places, and things in your own life impact your experience of “experiencing enough?”
Honestly, I think the people in our life have one of the biggest impacts when it comes to the idea of “experiencing enough;” comparison being the culprit. But comparison is quite the double-edged sword.
On one hand, when I find myself comparing what I have to another, I find that it brings up a sense of lack usually. Rather than appreciate all the amazing things I do possess, it makes me feel like I don’t have enough. And that’s not a very high-vibe way of thinking.
But, comparison doesn’t necessarily need to be negative. If you can shift your thoughts of lack to thoughts of desire, then you can shed a different kind of light on comparison. It can serve as a guide for you to understand a craving your inner self has. And although you may not have it now, it can act as fuel for achieving it.
And, that’s the approach I try to take when it comes to feeling that I don’t have enough.
What advice would you give to younger people about “experiencing enough?”
The advice I wish I would have received at a younger age, and I hope younger people would realize is, that everyone has their own journey. Everyone has their own baseline. And everyone is going to experience life in a way that is purely unique to them.
Meaning everyone’s “enough” is going to be different. And that’s okay.
We need to allow everyone to do life the way they feel suits them rather than the way that fits the norm. We are so influenced by friends or family to live up to certain standards, have certain things, or achieve certain goals, and it just doesn’t make sense because no one’s scenario will ever be the same. I don’t care if you’ve got an identical twin, you aren’t the same person.
So what’s enough for one, will be more than enough for another, or maybe not even close to enough for the next… and we need to learn to be okay with that. We need to learn to trust our spirit enough to tell us when enough is enough.
This is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience and research, can you share your “five ways we can simplify and declutter our lives to make us happier?”
5 Things Video Linked:
When it comes to clearing the energy in your home in order to live happier & thrive, decluttering is on the top of the list of things we should do. But it’s a lot more than just taking things out of your home and getting rid of them, it’s about understanding why we are holding onto something and allowing ourselves to let what doesn’t serve us go; decluttering yourself in the process.
In order to do that, I have established a simple, five-step process.
- One Room-One Word
- Expand & Express (Your Feels)
- Gather Your Stuff (And Yourself)
- Give It Up
- Return & Reassess
Essentially, when you work with The Intentional Home & Living, we will take you through the process of entering your environment and instinctively assessing the energy it puts off (One Room-One Word).
Next, we will take your initial assessment and expand upon it with a stream-of-consciousness writing session (Expand & Express). This allows you to truly grasp the energy you encounter in your space, and let your spirit speak through you, helping you to understand what is working and what is not.
This is the heart of where decluttering comes in. Understanding why you hold onto something, why you should let it go, or why you should keep it. Your inner-self is the best judge of what supports you on an energetic level, by far. So, we have to get comfortable having this dialogue.
Third, we will gather everything that doesn’t sit right with your spirit, pile it up, and emotionally cut the cords that bind you (Gather Your Stuff (And Yourself)). This is easier said than done. While you may think you’re okay with getting rid of something, your emotions may say otherwise. We have to learn to cut those cords, so your things don’t boomerang back into your life.
Fourth, we let it all go (Give it Up). It doesn’t matter if what you’re letting go of costs $5 or $1500, GIVING it up is key in the act of decluttering for energetic peace and happiness. As we said earlier, everything carries with it an energy, and in order to release that energy, there cannot be an exchange of any sort (money or barter) otherwise that energy will transfer with it, and you will be left holding onto that very same energy you’re trying to expel. So, if you want to declutter for happiness and harmony, be prepared to GIVE UP your stuff, making room for a more aligned energy to take its place.
Finally, we will return to the scene of the crime and reassess our efforts (Return & Reassess). By repeating step one of the entire decluttering process, we can assure ourselves that all the bad vibes we were harboring have been dispelled. The last thing you want is to semi-declutter, if you’re going to go through the effort of clearing up your mind, space, and energy, you want it to be complete. So, this follow-up assessment will give you peace of mind, or the direction that more needs to be done.
And just like that, you will be well on your way to laying the foundation for a much happier life. One that makes room for true alignment and happiness of mind, body and soul.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would love to see the world move towards more authentic living, in general.
I think so many of us are so disconnected with our authentic self, it’s the very thing we are lacking, and the catalyst for a lot of the discord we experience daily. But when we get in touch with who we really are, deep down, we begin to love ourselves and that radiates throughout all that we do. And more love, equals more peace, happiness and acceptance.
So, I would absolutely love to see a movement geared towards authenticity.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
You can find The Intentional Home & Living on our website, Instagram and our YouTube Channel.
Plus, our podcast, “Intentional Living with Courtney Meyers” drops weekly on Spotify, YouTube & Amazon Music.
Website: https://www.courtneymeyers.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_intentional_home_/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQZldkv38l00pDGrJx43ksA
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6X5iCrLY6JOc6mWWwr2Kt7
Thank you so much for these insights. This was so inspiring, and so important!
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity.
Courtney Meyers Of The Intentional Home & Living On How Simplifying & Decluttering Your Life Can… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.