Upstanders: How Eric Farbman Of Alpha Epsilon Pi Is Standing Up Against Antisemitism, Racism, Bigotry, and Hate
Be Strong — We can’t let the intimidation tactics work. We encourage our members to wear their AEPi letters proudly and to represent themselves as members of the Jewish community in the manner that they want to. No one should be afraid to wear a kippah or a Star of David.
An upstander is the opposite of a bystander. A bystander is someone who stands by while others are being bullied, maligned, or mistreated. An upstander is someone who stands up to protect and advocate for the victim. We are sadly seeing a surge of hate, both online and in the real world. Many vulnerable minorities feel threatened and under attack. What measures are individuals, communities, and organizations taking to stand up against Antisemitism, Racism, Bigotry, and Hate? In this interview series, we are talking to activists, community leaders, and individuals who are Upstanders against hate, to share what they are doing and to inspire others to do the same. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Eric Farbman.
Eric Farbman is the Supreme Master (International President) of Alpha Epsilon Pi, the world’s leading Jewish college fraternity with chapters on more than 150 campuses in the United States, Canada and Israel. Eric is the president of Organize My People, a strategy consulting, technology implementation and software development firm focused on helping organizations utilize technology to drive their missions. He lives in South Florida with his wife and two young sons.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up in South Florida, outside of Fort Lauderdale. My family belonged to a Reform synagogue, and that really shaped my Jewish identity along with what my parents focused on at home. My parents were always working to foster a strong Jewish identity and strong support for Israel within me. When I arrived at college at Northwestern and joined the AEPi chapter there, my identity as a Jew grew even stronger and, through the fraternity, I became involved in both Chabad and Hillel. My Jewish identity continued to become even more important to me because of AEPi and my commitment to our mission of developing the future leadership of the Jewish community.
Can you share a personal story of how you experienced or encountered antisemitism, racism, bigotry, or hate? How did that experience shape your perception and actions moving forward?
During my freshman year at Northwestern, I was looking at joining AEPi and another fraternity. I remember later in the semester (Northwestern’s formal freshman rush didn’t begin until the second term). I was at my friend’s fraternity, and he was trying really hard to be supportive and he said to me, “Let me introduce you to the other Jewish guy in our fraternity.”
That was the moment that led me to AEPi.
At that moment it hit me that I wanted my college experience to be around other Jews and around the Jewish community. That was the moment that I figured out which of the two Greek organizations I was going to join. That moment with my friend in the other fraternity — who was really just trying to be helpful — was the moment that really helped me crystalize that I wanted Jewish life to be a part of my college experience, and I wanted it to be through AEPi. I wanted to be involved in AEPi, and I wanted to be a leader there and in other Jewish organizations.
Can you describe how you or your organization is helping to stand up against hate? What inspired you to take up this cause?
AEPi is working hard to ensure our undergraduate members are offered the training and information necessary to provide leadership on college campuses. Our members are on the front lines of the battle on college campuses, and they are responding by showing their community that they won’t be intimidated and will continue to show their Jewish pride and support for Israel. At the same time, we are working to make sure both our undergraduate and alumni members are thinking about continuing to build the future of the Jewish community through partnering with the Jewish Youth Promise, the sister initiative of the Jewish Future Promise and a platform inspiring lifelong engagement in Jewish life in teens and young adults, which strengthens ties between our members and the Jewish community. So, we’re responding to the crisis of the day but also building a strong foundation for the future of the world’s Jewish communities.
Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your work as an Upstander?
That’s really a difficult question because there have been so many impactful stories over the last few years, especially since October 7.
Could you share an inspiring story that demonstrates the impact your efforts have had on an individual or community?
Since October 7, I have been personally inspired by the courage and conviction of our undergraduate members as they have shown unimaginable bravery during these difficult times. They have faced down protesters, they have advocated at student government meetings and spoken at City Councils. They have brought screenings of the Screams Before Silence documentary to their campuses, and they have rededicated themselves to Tikkun Olam, even during these times. With that said, though, perhaps the most impactful story I can recount happened just a few days after October 7. A man who lived in a small town in Central Missouri lost his son at an Israeli kibbutz on October 7. Our students at the University of Missouri heard about his story from a Chabad Rabbi, and, on their own initiative, a group of them drove two hours to this stranger’s house to help him say Kaddish for his son. That, in a nutshell, is the definition of AEPi. We’re developing leadership for the Jewish community. (You can read the full story here: https://aepi.org/2023/11/10/mizzou-aepi-brothers-sit-shiva/)
In your opinion, why do you think there has been such a surge of antisemitism, racism, bigotry, & hate, recently?
Antisemitism and hate aren’t new in our world. I think the public expression of it has become more accepted and commonplace. The best way we can combat that is to show the world that the Jewish community isn’t going anywhere. We have a future that will be built by the young leaders on our campuses today.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
I think the partnership between AEPi and the Jewish Youth Promise is a first step. We need to keep reminding our young leaders that they will be called upon to ensure the future of our Jewish community. Secondly, we need to keep providing our Jewish community with the information and the messaging they need to respond to the lies told about Israel and the Jewish community. Finally, we need to show our world that the Jewish community is a positive force. Doing good even in the face of such oppressive hate shows that the Jewish community will remain a positive force for our society.
What are your “5 Things Everyone Can Do To Be An Upstander”? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.
1 . Be Strong — We can’t let the intimidation tactics work. We encourage our members to wear their AEPi letters proudly and to represent themselves as members of the Jewish community in the manner that they want to. No one should be afraid to wear a kippah or a Star of David.
2 . Advocate — It would be easier for all of us to lock ourselves in our homes and just hope that this latest period of antisemitism goes away. We can’t do that. We need to go to public forums and set the record straight about Israel and the Jewish community. Last spring, our chapter house at the University of Arizona was vandalized days before the City Council was set to vote on a so-called ceasefire resolution. Rather than being intimidated, several of our students showed up at City Council and spoke against the resolution, which did not pass!
3 . Build For the Future — We also can’t succumb to the tyranny of the moment. The Jewish community has been around for thousands of years, and we will be here for many more millennia. Yes, we need to respond to what’s happening outside our doors, but we also need to invest in our future. Just reminding our students that they have this commitment to the future of the Jewish people through the Jewish Youth Promise is a critical first step to that.
4 . Do Good. — AEPi’s CEO recently wrote an article where he praised our students for their ongoing commitment to Tikkun Olam. He said that we needed to play a role in healing an imperfect world. I love that sentiment and am proud of our members for continuing to do that. Just last month, our students raised more than $60,000 for Jewish and Israeli causes through our annual Mensch Madness philanthropy program. Imagine that. With all of the hate our students are experiencing and instead of descending into hatred, they went out and raised money to help others, to help strangers. To me, that is the best illustration of Tikkun Olam.
5 . Celebrate the Good Things. — I need to remind myself that there are lots of good things happening all around us. Despite what is happening on campus, AEPi is having an excellent year. We reached a major milestone when our 10,000th undergraduate signed the Jewish Youth Promise. I’m so proud of what our members are doing, and I want to make sure that more people are aware of the good and not fixated on the bad. Finally for me, I try to focus on the joy that my family brings me. My young sons — future AEPi brothers — amaze me every day, as does the support I get from my wife and extended family. We all need to find those important and good things and remind ourselves of them every day.
How do you handle the emotional toll that comes with being an Upstander?
I am blessed to have so many who support me in AEPi and, of course, my family provides me with enough love and nachas to help me overcome the emotions of despair and anger.
If you were in charge of the major social media companies, what would you do to address the hate on the platforms? Could you share specific strategies or policies that you believe would be effective in addressing hate on social media platforms?
I’m not a big user of social media personally, so this is not the best question for me. While I appreciate that some social media platforms can perform the role of a free market of ideas, I’m troubled by the way that the algorithms used seem to serve up antisemitic hate speech much more frequently, especially to younger users who are more impressionable and less likely to fact-check.
How would you answer someone who says: “Hate speech is permitted under the US Constitution. Why are you so worried about permitted, and legal speech?”
I completely agree with them! However, that does not apply to any speech used to target, intimidate or harm another person or group. Calling for violence against anyone — especially minority groups — is not protected speech. To me, this is a simple issue. People can say what they want to the point that they are putting other people in harm’s way. And that is clearly what has happened on some college campuses.
Are you optimistic that we can solve this problem in the United States? Can you please explain what you mean?
If anything, the global Jewish experience has shown us that there is no way to “solve the problem” of antisemitism. It is the oldest hate known to civilized man, and I have no doubt that it will exist, in some way, until the end of time. That doesn’t mean we should give up. We need to keep showing the world that the Jewish community is committed to Israel and is never going away. And again, we need to keep committing to doing good deeds and repairing the world so that we can show people that we are a “light for the nations.” Finally, we need to keep building for the future and committing time and resources to initiatives like the Jewish Youth Promise and the Jewish Future Promise, a moral commitment to leave up to 50% of my charitable donations to Jewish organizations and or the State of Isreal. I’m so proud to do that to help create a better world for my sons.
What advice would you give to someone who wants to become an Upstander but doesn’t know where to start?
You have to start by committing yourself to becoming knowledgeable on the issues. We are “the people of the book” and, as such, we need to make sure that we hold ourselves to a higher rhetorical standard of accuracy. This adds to our credibility. So, to start, read and learn. And, then, be strong. When you hear someone say something that is wrong (about Israel, for example), be brave and step in and correct them.
The other place I would start is by doing good things. Show your friends and your community that the Jewish community is committed to doing the right things, that we care about the oppressed and disadvantaged. That’s how we can get people back on our side!
In what ways can education be leveraged to combat antisemitism, racism, bigotry, and hate?
Educators in our schools and colleges need to commit themselves to presenting facts and history and not undermining their lessons with personal opinions. That would be a start. I believe — and I think our Jewish faith teaches us — that there are certain moral truths in this world. Be kind to your neighbors. Follow the Golden Rule. Take accountability for your actions. Stand up to hate. Correct lies. Be compassionate for the less fortunate. If we teach lessons like these, which almost no one could disagree with, we would be starting in a better place.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I generally gravitate toward the quote, “You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give.” Organizations such as AEPi have given me far more than I can ever give back in time, talent, or treasure, but that doesn’t stop me from trying. Certainly, the Jewish Future Promise inspires me and my family to continue to give back to our communities.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
There are so many people I could learn from. Michael J. Fox is a person who I admire for both his acting skills (because who doesn’t love Back to the Future), his advocacy work, and his strength and perseverance through adversity.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
AEPi posts a lot of great information about what is happening with our students on our website (aepi.org) as well as our Facebook and Instagram feeds. That’s a great place to see firsthand the promise of the Jewish future.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success in your important work!
Upstanders: How Alpha Epsilon Pi Is Standing Up Against Antisemitism, Racism, Bigotry, and Hate was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.