An Interview with Karen Mangia
Success isn’t about avoiding failure — it’s about resilience and integration.
Have you ever noticed how often we equate success with more? Whether that’s more products, more profits, more activities or more accomplishments, we buy into the belief that we have to do more to have more to be more. And that will sum up to success. And then along comes The Great Resignation. Where employees are signaling that the “more” that’s being offered — even more pay, more perks, and more PTO — isn’t summing up to success for them. We visited with leaders who are redefining what success means now. Their answers might surprise you.
As a part of this series I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Kellie Okonek.
Imagine a world where organizations don’t just function — they flourish. Where teams operate with alignment, energy, and purpose, and leadership isn’t about control, but about unlocking potential. A world where uncertainty isn’t feared, but embraced as the frontier of possibility, and where work becomes a place of vitality, innovation, and transformation- driving business results that redefine what’s possible.
Kellie Okonek is building that world. A transformational leadership expert, architect of high-performance teams, and founder of Iron Lady Consulting, she helps organizations break free from outdated models and step into their full potential. With 20 years of experience leading in high-stakes oil and gas operations — including as Operations Manager in Prudhoe Bay, Oman, and Iraq — she specializes in unlocking breakthrough performance in the complex and dynamic world of business. An Alaskan bush pilot, first-descents ski mountaineer, and adventure athlete, Kellie weaves lessons from Alaska’s extreme landscapes — where adaptability is survival — into leadership development.
She now brings corporate teams into Alaska’s untamed wilderness for transformational experiences that embed the Principles of Adventure into leadership, visioning, and high-vitality team performance. And she doesn’t stop there — through executive coaching and ongoing team support, she ensures these lessons become lasting change. For Kellie, success isn’t about more — it’s about better: more alignment, more impact, more vitality. Redefining success isn’t just a concept — it’s the foundation of her work, woven into every leader, team, and organization she helps transform.
Thank you for making time to visit with us about the topic of our time. Our readers would like to get to know you a bit better. Can you please tell us about one or two life experiences that most shaped who you are today?
One of the most defining moments of my life was skiing Aconcagua, the tallest mountain in South America at nearly 23,000 feet — a descent only a handful of people had ever done. I had planned to climb with a team, but the plan fell apart just before the expedition. Suddenly, I had a choice: give up on my dream or suspend my disbelief and try.
My brain was screaming, In what alternate universe do you think you can just walk in alone, meet skiers, and ski the Polish Glacier? But when I really tuned in, I realized the most likely worst-case scenario was just three days to walk into basecamp and back and $500 lost to hire mules for my basecamp gear. Three days and $500 . . . manageable. The best case? My biggest dream would come true.
The first ten steps away from the road were the hardest I’ve ever taken — because they meant sitting with the voices in my head screaming that this time, I had really lost it! But as I kept walking, the voices quieted. And sure enough, when I arrived at base camp, I met two skiers. They invited me to join their team, and in a matter of days, we built high trust, total alignment, and a shared vision — all in a high-stakes environment. On the sixth day of knowing each other, we skied off the summit and down the Polish Glacier in some of the best conditions of my life — I opened it up and went first, carving fast and smooth turns down steep, untouched snow. Beyond exhilarating.
That experience transformed my understanding of risk and leadership. The best teams can be built in moments because a foundation of alignment is more powerful than time. Shared vision, coordinated and effective action, and trust enable teams to thrive in uncertainty, whether on a remote mountain or in a rapidly evolving industry.
Also, our brains tend to think catastrophically — always jumping to the worst-case scenario. And while the worst can happen, there’s a powerful shift that makes all the difference: the most likely worst case. Sure, I could have died on the mountain — but the most likely worst case? I’d “waste” a few days and some money, and nothing great would happen. Going after big dreams is hard, and there’s incredible power in grounding yourself in the nuance of the most likely worst case — usually, it’s manageable — especially compared to the cost of not trying.
I’ve applied these lessons ever since — helping organizations build high-vitality teams that break through stagnation and deliver what others consider impossible. And just as importantly, I use them to keep following my own dreams — leaning into uncertainty, expanding beyond the familiar, and trusting in the potential for extraordinary and dreamy outcomes. And now, I bring teams into the Alaskan wilderness to experience these lessons firsthand. Just like I learned on Aconcagua, transformation happens in moments of uncertainty, challenge, and alignment with something bigger than yourself. Whether on a remote peak or in a boardroom, the principles are the same — and in Alaska, we create the space for leaders to embody them in real time.
We all have myths and misconceptions about success. What are some myths or misconceptions that you used to believe?
I used to think I wanted the corner office, the title, the big CEO role — ha! At one point, that seemed like the ultimate marker of success. I thought if I just worked hard enough, achieved enough, and climbed high enough, I’d finally feel independent and good about myself. It felt like the way to prove I was capable, that I belonged. I saw success as something external — something that could be measured in promotions, prestige, and other people’s recognition.
How has your definition of success changed?
For me, success now is about vitality — having the independence to live how I want, making an impact in ways that feel meaningful, and using my greatest gifts in ways that fuel me. I’m far less concerned with external validation or traditional markers of achievement, and so much more driven by how it feels on the inside. Am I energized? Am I growing? Am I exploring what pulls on me? Am I making a real difference? If the answer is yes, then I know I’m on the right track. Success isn’t about proving anything — it’s about the experience of truly living a high-vitality life.
The pandemic, in many ways, was a time of collective self-reflection. What changes do you believe we need to make as a society to access success post pandemic?
To access success post-pandemic, we need to embrace uncertainty as a feature, not a flaw — and eliminate the urge to “get back to normal.” The pandemic forced us to reimagine work, relationships, and what truly matters. It proved that remote work is viable, flexibility is powerful, and well-being is essential to sustained performance. Instead of clinging to outdated models, we need to intentionally design for a future where adaptability is a strength, not a concession.
Success in this era comes from integrating what we’ve learned. If we value the freedom and efficiency of remote work, let’s design in ways to sustain human connection. If we’ve realized life is too short for toxic workplaces and unfulfilling paths, let’s build environments where people truly thrive. The organizations that will lead the future are the ones that recognize they already have more capacity than they realize — it’s just locked up in outdated ways of working. The pandemic proved that businesses could pivot and adapt faster than they ever thought possible, but that kind of adaptability isn’t just for crisis moments — it’s an ongoing advantage for those who know how to access it.
The pandemic was a wake-up call that showed us what’s possible. The real question isn’t how to return to normal — it’s how we ensure we don’t waste the lessons we’ve learned and don’t miss the opportunity to build something better with those lessons. And that’s exactly what I help leaders and teams do in Alaska — step outside their usual environment, break free from old ways of thinking, and experience what’s possible when they embrace uncertainty, adaptability, and high-vitality leadership. I feel passionate about being part of the solution, and using the unique magic of Alaska to accelerate transformation!
What do you see as the unexpected positives in the pandemic? We would love to hear a few of your stories or examples.
The real unexpected positive of the pandemic was that it forced people to ask themselves what truly matters. In my case, I realized that, in most ways, the life I had was the life I wanted. Rather than making big changes, I focused on deepening and strengthening all of it. That said, the pandemic was also when I made my career shift — leaving an established executive role at BP to start my own executive coaching business. It was a moment when people were collectively reassessing their priorities, and it felt like the right time to step into helping others do the same. I’ve always designed around vitality, and the pandemic created an opportunity to bring that work to a larger scale — guiding leaders to build careers, teams, and organizations that truly thrive.
And now, I take it even further, inviting teams into the Alaskan wilderness to access a depth of transformation that only the vastness of its wild spaces can inspire. Big landscapes fuel big thinking, the absence of distraction allows clarity to emerge, and the sheer beauty of it cracks open even the most resistant among us. Alaska doesn’t just inspire change — it teaches us how to conceptualize it, embody it, and actualize it.
We’re all looking for answers about how to be successful now. Could you please share “5 Ways To Redefine Success Now?”
Success isn’t a destination, a title, or a number — it’s a way of being. The more we design our lives, teams, and businesses around vitality, alignment, and adaptability, the more we create success that actually feels like success.
1. Success isn’t about avoiding failure — it’s about resilience and integration.
Challenges don’t have to be something to “get through.” They are the work. They are the opportunities that form us. The moments when everything feels impossible are often the moments that shape us the most — if we lean in, engage fully, and commit to transformation.
Right out of the gate in my first leadership role, I inherited a team at the pinnacle of conflict. A long-anticipated organizational change had finally been set in motion, and my team — who had resisted it for years — saw me as the one who had “given it away.” The reality was, I didn’t have a choice. The reorg was happening, and I was left with a team in chaos — high emotions, anger, frustration, and resistance. I had no roadmap, no good options — only the challenge in front of me. That’s when I leaned in and learned the model that now serves as the foundation for my business: real leadership isn’t just about providing vision and solving problems from the top down. It’s about transforming through solving problems collectively and relating to challenges as opportunities for growth.
I brought in a consultant to facilitate a bottoms-up aspirational strategic plan — a process where the team defined what success looked like, and I became an agent in executing their vision. I could have written the same plan myself in five minutes, but because it came from them, it changed everything. My role became clearing the obstacles for their success rather than dictating their path, and what had been a deeply fractured team transformed into a high-performing, sustainable, and well-integrated organization.
By leaning in, I lived into the model that has now become the foundation for my business today — because it worked when it mattered most and against substantial odds.
That experience cemented my belief that resilience isn’t something we call on only in crisis — it’s something we build through every challenge we face. And the same has been true in my personal life. I’ve faced major injuries from skiing — injuries I would never have chosen, but which ultimately shaped me in profound ways. Each time, I had a choice: let the experience break me or lean into it as a chance to grow. I chose to lean in — every single time — and discovered that resilience grows strongest when we engage with every challenge as an opportunity for transformation.
2. Detach from outcomes — success is in the showing up.
Too often, we define success by whether or not we achieve a specific outcome. But that’s a limiting focus. When I set out to ski Aconcagua, I couldn’t define success as reaching the summit. That was never in my control. The weather, the people I might meet, the conditions — so much of it was outside of me. But I could define success as trying — as stepping into the unknown, suspending disbelief, and showing up fully.
We’re so programmed to chase outcomes — to believe that happiness and success exist somewhere just beyond the next milestone. But if we actually follow what’s pulling on us, lean into discomfort, stay rooted in what matters most, and try… extraordinary things happen.
When I was sidelined with injuries, I could have spiraled into frustration. Instead, I asked: What is possible now that wouldn’t have otherwise happened? That question led me to earning my pilot’s license — something I never would have made time for otherwise, and which has since become a core passion, central to my exploring and self-expression.
Showing up and leaning in has been the common thread in so many of my greatest achievements — again and again, it’s what turns possibility into reality.
3. Design for high vitality, not just high performance.
Too many people push themselves to the brink in pursuit of success, believing that harder is always better. But the best leaders, teams, and businesses don’t just function — they flourish. I see this every day with the leaders I coach. The ones who prioritize flow, energy, and fulfillment outperform the ones who just push harder. The key is structuring work around what fuels people, not just what extracts from them. When teams work in alignment with their energy and strengths, they unlock reserves of potential they didn’t even realize were there. I promise to uncover at least 20% more capacity, but time and time again, I see that once the process starts, teams accelerate far beyond that. When work is designed around vitality, performance happens as the natural outcome.
And when leaders create those conditions, they don’t just unlock the best in their teams — they also create space to balance themselves, to lead with more ease, and to actually enjoy the process. Flourishing is contagious, and when teams thrive, leaders do too.
I see leaders all the time who feel like they need to control how things get done — to ensure people are working on the right things, solving the right problems. It’s not necessarily micromanaging, but it is limiting. When leaders try to direct the work rather than designing the conditions for great work, they unintentionally stifle creativity, autonomy, and engagement.
A well-built aspirational strategic plan — created with and for the team, not just by leadership — ensures that everyone is aligned on the vision. From there, leadership becomes about removing roadblocks so people can thrive, rather than investing energy in unnecessary oversight. It’s unintuitive until you step back and see the bigger picture: the highest-performing teams aren’t the ones under the most structure; they’re the ones given the freedom and ownership to do their best work.
4. Make uncertainty your competitive advantage.
Most people see uncertainty as a problem to solve — but it’s actually the defining condition of our world. Success now belongs to those who can adapt, pivot, and navigate change with confidence.
A common reaction to uncertainty is to try and create certainty — locking into rigid structures, setting aggressive goals, and managing performance through metrics and KPIs. These tools can be useful, but they often create the illusion of control rather than actual adaptability.
There’s another option: leading with vision instead of rigid goals. When leaders and teams live into a compelling vision — one that’s clear but also evergreen — they can adjust as new challenges and opportunities arise. Too often, businesses don’t recognize possibility simply because it wasn’t forecasted. But when we design for uncertainty and leave room for it, we leave room for opportunity.
When unexpected demands come in, a strong vision allows teams to assess the impact and recalibrate rather than blindly sticking to a plan that may no longer make sense. And just as importantly, when opportunities manifest sooner than expected, teams that are designed for uncertainty can recognize and capitalize on them.
Uncertainty doesn’t just mean risk — it means potential. And when we stop trying to control it and start designing for it, we unlock a whole new level of success.
5. Success is using the best of yourself in the most authentic way.
When I left BP, it wasn’t because I was unhappy or unsuccessful — it was because I knew I had more to give. I had reached the limits of what a rigid corporate structure could offer, and I realized it was time to create something new — a way to fully leverage my talents, my leadership, and my unique perspective.
Authenticity means tapping into the core of who you are, embracing your strengths, and daring to express them without compromise. It means knowing when you’ve outgrown a role, an identity, or a way of working — and having the courage to step into what’s next. And when leaders do this, they don’t just succeed personally — they create cultures where others can do the same.
For me, success is defined not by titles or metrics, but by the courage to live and work in alignment with my deepest values, inspiring change and creating lasting impact.
How would our lives improve if we changed our definition of success?
If we changed our definition of success, we’d start living with more alignment, energy, and fulfillment. Success would mean thriving — not just achieving. People would feel more alive in their work, more engaged in their relationships, and more present in their own lives.
We’d also make better decisions. Instead of choosing paths based on external expectations, we’d use our intuition and choose based on what we know inside to be true. Instead of fearing change, we’d embrace it, because success wouldn’t be about clinging to a rigid plan — it would be about evolving in ways that bring us closer to our true potential.
And perhaps most importantly, we’d create a ripple effect. When people are thriving, they bring out the best in those around them. They build healthier organizations, stronger communities, and more innovative solutions. The best ideas would be at the table — not drowned out by obligation or fear. We’d be making a bigger impact, growing businesses, solving real problems, and creating value where it actually counts. It’s a YES, AND proposition — when people feel alive and fulfilled, they also do their best work. It’s not a trade-off; it’s a multiplier.
What’s the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of our redefined success? And what advice would you offer about overcoming those obstacles?
Obstacle: The biggest obstacle to redefining success is the either/or mindset. Too many people believe that success has to come at a cost — either you work hard or you enjoy your life, either you perform or you protect your well-being. We’ve been conditioned to think that work has to be hard, high-friction, and demanding to be valuable, rather than seeing it as something that can feel expansive, energizing, and meaningful.
Overcoming It: The key is shifting to a “yes, and” perspective. Success doesn’t have to mean burnout, struggle, or sacrifice — it can be about flow, impact, and fulfillment coexisting. The best workplaces don’t drain people; they bring them to life. The best leaders don’t push harder; they design better. When we stop seeing work as something we have to survive and start seeing it as something we can thrive in, we unlock a whole new level of creativity, performance, and success. Most teams believe they’re at full capacity, but they’re actually leaving a huge amount of capability on the table — simply because they haven’t designed their work in a way that supports alignment, creativity, and flow. I guarantee at least a 20% unlock, but in reality, when teams start working differently, the ceiling shatters, and they access levels of performance they never thought possible.
And sometimes, the fastest way to reimagine what’s possible is to step outside of the familiar. That’s why I take teams into the Alaskan wilderness — to strip away the noise, the routine, and the constraints of the everyday, and give them the space to reconnect with clarity, alignment, and possibility. Alaska isn’t just a beautiful backdrop — it’s an active participant in transformation. Its rawness, scale, and unpredictability demand presence, engagement, and open receptivity. When you learn to navigate the wilderness, you’re learning to lean into uncertainty — and that’s exactly what today’s leaders need.
Where do you go to look for inspiration and information about how to redefine success?
I turn to both science and nature. Huberman Lab is one of my go-to sources because it helps me understand how to work with my brain instead of against it — how to optimize focus, energy, and creativity in ways that are backed by neuroscience. At the same time, nothing beats the wilderness. Some of my biggest insights and best ideas have come from being outside, fully immersed in the natural world, particularly remote Alaska. The sheer scale of it, diversity of landscapes, and vitality of ecosystems cracks something open in me. And when I’m out there, things click. Problems solve themselves. Patterns emerge. And I come back with a level of clarity and inspiration that I could never access just by grinding harder.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He, she or they might just see this if we tag them.
Dr. Andrew Huberman. His work has profoundly influenced the way I think about performance, focus, and recovery. I’d love to sit down with him and riff on the intersection of neuroscience, leadership, and high-performance teams. How do we design environments — whether in business, athletics, or life — that optimize human potential, creativity/innovation, decision-making, and resilience?
I think that he and I agree that the future of humanity relies on integrated and collaborative problem-solving. He approaches it through the science and his lived experience; I come at it through the wilderness — both the literal wilderness and the wild frontiers of business. The primal landscapes of Alaska have taught me how to cultivate tenacity, build resilience, and unlock creativity in ways that traditional environments rarely can. Imagine what we could unlock by bridging those perspectives. What if this conversation sparks ideas with the potential to shape how we design workplaces, teams, and even entire industries? Maybe it’s a collaboration that unlocks possibilities neither of us could dream of alone.
Andrew, if you’re reading this — let’s make it happen.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Yes!
- I have a newsletter on Flowing with Life at https://catchy-king-517.myflodesk.com/ysmaaalvew
- I’m on LInkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/kellieokonek/
- I write on Substack at https://substack.com/@kellieokonek?r=2gsnud&utm_campaign=profile&utm_medium=profile-page
- And my blog! www.kellieokonek.com/blog
- And here’s my YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kellieokonek3743
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success and good health.
Kellie Okonek On Why & How We Need To Redefine Success Now was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.