Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Richie Frieman Of “The Optimistics” Is Helping To Change Our World
When I was training to be a professional wrestler, a veteran trainer shared this advice to emphasize the importance of respect within the wrestling community. This lesson applies to everyday business and relationships as well: don’t mistreat people while climbing the ladder of success, because you’ll likely need their support on your way down. People will never forget how they were treated — good or bad — so always show respect.
As a part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing best selling and award winning author, Richie Frieman.
Richie Frieman has been dubbed a “Modern-Day Renaissance Man” by St. Martin’s Press and Macmillan Publishing, thanks to a remarkable career that spans authorship, illustration, art, entrepreneurship, etiquette (aka Modern Manners Guy), podcasting, and even professional wrestling — where he held over a dozen championships during his in-ring tenure. Frieman is a #1 best-selling, award-winning author and illustrator of eight books published across multiple genres, with his works sold globally and even translated into Mandarin. His latest project is the #1 New Release and award-winning memoir, The Optimistics.
The Optimistics is the true story of three strangers who became best friends after being diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia (YOD) in their 50s. Bonding over their mutual diagnosis, they discovered hope — as well as optimism — in their journey. As a result of their new outlook, they dubbed themselves “The Optimistics” as a mantra to show others how to survive.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Thank you for having me! I grew up in a suburb of Baltimore called Owings Mills and attended the University of Maryland, College Park, graduating in 2001. As a child, there were only two things I wanted to do in life: become a professional artist and a professional wrestler (the latter I achieved at age 21). Yes, before you ask, I am well aware that those are polar opposite career paths, and both have zero promise of success. While at College Park, I really developed a sense of confidence, being surrounded by other students who were equally passionate about careers in the arts. At the same time, I quickly realized I had a lot to learn to develop my skills. But College Park provided me with the opportunities to grow.
During the summer before my junior year, I started training to become a professional wrestler. The confidence I gained from wrestling — training, fighting, and working the crowd — accelerated my growth as an artist. It was like a switch flipped, allowing me to believe that the paths I was pursuing in both fields would benefit me in ways I couldn’t yet imagine. Although the world of art and pro wrestling seem at odds with each other on paper (art being the classy crowd and pro wrestling being the rowdier bunch), but both are forms of entertainment and expression. As someone who can draw a connection between the two, I’m more than happy to debate my thesis anytime! Ironically, the people who were most accepting of my wrestling career in college were my fellow art students.
Fast forward, I graduated in 2001 and got married in 2005 to an incredible woman of my dreams. I have two kids, Maddy (16) and Cole (12). When I’m not working, you can find me driving to or sitting at fields watching lacrosse and soccer, or indoors watching basketball or squash. However, you can still find me working in my car, on my laptop, during long practices. I’m not the sports-dad who monitors their kids’ training sessions. I have amazing memories of my dad driving me to wrestling matches when I was 9 or 10, often in the middle of nowhere at 5 AM. Win or lose, I had a blast just being with him. Now, with my two kids, I get to do the same, and I cherish every minute of it. My wallet and car might not love it, but it’s absolutely worth it. I love being a sports dad.
I often think about my parents when positive moments in my career occur because they always supported my passions for art, literature, and even wrestling. Sure, they knew the wrestling part was a little unconventional, but they stayed in my corner regardless. Whether it was a book, an art project, or a pro wrestling match, I have to hand it to them — they were always there for me. Although my road has been — and still is — filled with erratic uncertainties, they’ve been extremely proud of both me and my brother. Well, he became a doctor, so he’s kind of the golden child in that regard!
At 45, I’ve spent more than half my life immersed in the arts and business. I’ve become a #1 best-selling, award-winning author and illustrator with eight books published across multiple genres and sold globally. With every opportunity I’ve earned, I’ve committed to exploring how far I could stretch my connections and passions into something new. I’ve always been curious, asked a lot of questions, and been willing to try whatever sparked my interest. That’s been my journey so far.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
It’s funny how often I’m asked this question, and understandably so, given my literary career, yet my answer is probably not what you’d expect. Growing up, I had a significant learning disability that made reading nearly impossible. I could read, but retaining information was a nightmare, which made me feel insecure about reading in general. I’d find myself reading the same page over and over again, only to get more distracted each time. Art, however, made reading make sense to me. Art allowed me to see things in a different way to help me intake the information I was reading…to the best of my ability. Sadly, I thought I was alone with my troubles and feel for kids today who are in the same boat as I was. In fact, when I speak to young people about my own difficulties with reading, I often show them a picture of a Jackson Pollock painting to illustrate how words looked to me as a child — chaotic and overwhelming.
So, to answer your question, there wasn’t a specific book that inspired me to take action, per se, because I didn’t read my first book cover to cover until my senior year of college. That often shocks people. I don’t say this to romanticize the contrast between my literary career and my early struggles with reading — it’s just the way I developed. Ironically, the first book I ever finished was an autobiography by the wrestler Mick Foley, which, in hindsight, makes sense. Once I started reading for fun, though, I couldn’t stop. It was like I was playing catch-up for all the years I had missed.
Although I came to reading a bit later in life, two books truly captivated me early on: What Should I Do With My Life? by Po Bronson and I Was a Teenage Professional Wrestler by Ted Lewin (shocker, I know). Bronson’s book offered a collection of wildly compelling, true stories about people who transitioned from ordinary lives to extraordinary paths. Whether spurred by a life-changing event or an unexpected opportunity, each chapter explored the question, “What should I do with my life?” I found it fascinating and deeply inspiring, as it encouraged me to think more broadly about my own options and the barriers I faced.
Lewin’s book, on the other hand, struck a deeply personal chord. He wrote about being an artist who took up wrestling to fund his art education and career. I felt an immediate connection to his story, almost like finding a kindred spirit, because we shared so much in common. His work is beautiful! Many years ago, I emailed him, and to my amazement, he replied. That moment left a lasting impression on me. Sadly, Lewin passed away in 2021, and I’ll always regret not making a greater effort to meet him in person.
Today, I’m an avid reader and constantly enjoy discovering new books — or new-to-me ones. Some of my favorite authors include Kwame Alexander, Jeff Pearlman, Mitch Albom, John Grisham, Liza Weimer, Nicholas Sparks, and other talented writers I stumble upon or have recommended to me.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Unfortunately, I’ve had plenty of teachers when it comes to learning through mistakes. At this point, I’m pretty sure I’ve earned a PhD in bonehead moves and socially awkward mishaps throughout my career. But who doesn’t have a list of mistakes? If someone claims they don’t, they’re either lying or had their dreams handed to them, leaving them oblivious to what it means to grind.
I love this question because I’ve heard countless war stories from incredibly successful writers — the kind you’d assume always had it all figured out. The truth is, every single person who’s ever put pen to paper, brush to canvas, or stepped onto a stage has been told, “You’ll never make it” or “You should quit” more times than they can count. I think about that whenever I reflect on my own mistakes — past and present.
One of my biggest mistakes, early in my literary career, was not understanding the industry at all. To say I was green is an understatement. I wasn’t just a rookie; I was trying to sprint before I could even sit up, let alone crawl.
In my early twenties, I was desperately trying to get the attention of agents and publishers — the gatekeepers of the literary world. I vividly remember going on LinkedIn groups and author message boards (this was before social media was a thing) and posting something like, “I’m a professional wrestler and an artist with an amazing children’s book idea. Who wants to get rich?” Yes, I really said that. As if any of those things warranted a serious response.
For starters, I was not a famous professional wrestler — not even close. So that was an improper basis for pitching a deal from the jump. Secondly, I said I only had an “idea,” which is the last thing any agent or publisher wants to hear. Everyone has ideas, but no publisher is going to buy ideas. Ever. Agents and publishers want to see finished work, not half-baked concepts.
Do you know how many times an agent or publisher gets cornered at a party by someone who says, “Oh, you work in publishing? I have a great idea for a book!” The answer is always no. Ideas are just the starting point. No one cares until the work is done and ready to present.
And let’s not forget my bold, “Who wants to get rich?” statement I added at the end, as if I had any ability to deliver on that promise as well. I was so convinced that the “gimmick” of being both a wrestler and an artist was unique enough to open doors. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. Sure, people still find the combination interesting, but at the end of the day, it’s the work that matters.
Eventually, one kind stranger sent me a private message saying I would never be taken seriously with that approach. They called it a deal-breaker — and they were 1,000% right. As embarrassing as it was, I needed someone to point out that I looked like a fool. That moment taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my career: no matter how unique your story is, it’s the quality of your work that ultimately speaks for you.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
The social impact of raising awareness and funds for Young Onset Dementia (YOD) and Alzheimer’s has always been — and will always be — the greatest reward of The Optimistics. From day one, I committed to donating 25% of my earnings to the fight against Alzheimer’s, a commitment I plan to uphold for life. I can’t say that I’m changing the world with massive donations each month, but this is how it starts. I’m here for the long-ball game.
For me, being an advocate for The Optimistics and for the YOD community isn’t just about selling books; it’s about using this platform to educate and inspire. My ultimate goal is for people to view The Optimistics not just as a book but as a mantra — a testament to living with purpose and resilience, no matter the challenges, whether it’s Alzheimer’s or any other adversity. I want people to proudly call themselves “Optimistics.”
When I first learned about YOD from Dennis, one of The Optimistics, I had no idea that Alzheimer’s and dementia could affect individuals in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. Like many others, I assumed dementia was something that only impacted older adults. Meeting Dennis was eye-opening. At the time, I was 43; now, at 45, it’s sobering to realize that I fall into the same age range as those affected by YOD. That realization fueled my mission to shine a light on YOD, not as a story of despair, but as an opportunity to expand awareness of the dementia spectrum through diverse perspectives. Since the release of The Optimistics, I’ve received tons of messages from people across the country who found hope and honesty in its pages. These heartfelt responses are incredibly emotional and deeply rewarding, affirming the book’s purpose.
The Optimistics has also brought the YOD community together by emphasizing the values of living each day with intention and purpose. Through the book, I’ve had the privilege of connecting with the Alzheimer’s Association of Greater Baltimore, which has been a fantastic advocate for my Longest Day Campaign to raise funds for Alzheimer’s research and support. They’re an invaluable resource for anyone seeking information about the disease.
Additionally, The Optimistics grew from connections formed in the Alzheimer’s-sponsored support group, Young Onset Education and Support (YES!). It’s through this group that the original “Optimistics” met, and it continues to provide a platform for sharing my story. These opportunities have been instrumental in furthering my mission: to raise awareness, foster connections, and offer a platform for YOD and other dementias.
My hope is that The Optimistics serves as more than a memoir — it’s a movement. A rallying cry for resilience, awareness, and optimism for any of life’s challenges.
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
I feel incredibly fortunate to have met so many amazing individuals whose stories — both from those living with YOD and their care partners — made The Optimistics possible. Each story changed me in unique ways and brought to light just how jarring a YOD diagnosis can be for an entire family. One story that particularly stood out was because of the rarity of the individual’s condition. In the chapter A Bicycle in the Shower, I wrote about an extraordinary woman named Lorrin, who was in her early 50s. Lorrin reminds me of Elaine from Seinfeld with her clever, coy sense of humor. She’s a ball of energy — witty and full of life — and despite her diagnosis, she approaches each day with an inspiringly upbeat personality.
Lorrin was diagnosed with Posterior Cortical Atrophy (PCA), a rare form of dementia that affects the back part of the brain. PCA impairs visual processing and other cognitive functions, making her journey uniquely challenging. Out of all cases under the umbrella of Alzheimer’s and dementia, only about 50,000 to 60,000 people in the United States have conditions like PCA or the behavioral variant FTD. This adds another layer of isolation to an already isolating disease, making resources and support even harder to find.
Part of Lorrin’s condition involves her mind playing tricks on her vision, distorting depth and spatial awareness. For example, while driving, she struggled to judge the distance between her car and the one in front of her, often slamming on the brakes at the last moment when the proximity finally registered. Even daily tasks, like getting dressed, have become battles for Lorrin. She knows the buttons are on the front of her shirt, or that her arm should go through the sleeve, but her PCA makes it nearly impossible for her body to follow through with those commands. This disconnect between knowing what to do and being physically unable to do it frustrates her deeply.
She often describes the experience with a mix of humor and exasperation, sharing how she trash-talks her clothes like they’re her opponents in a match. “I’m going to put you on the right way, you $#@%!” she’d declare, usually followed by a string of colorful four-letter words. Lorrin’s resilience and humor in the face of such challenges are a testament to her strength. Her story not only highlights the complexities of living with a rare form of dementia but also underscores the importance of finding light and laughter, even in the darkest moments.
I saw her PCA first hand when I interviewed her on Zoom for The Optimistics. Everything was fine for the first thirty minutes or so. At minute thirty-three, she cut me off, asking, “Are you on a bicycle?”
“Me? No. I’m right here. At a table.”
“Oh, it looked like you were on a bicycle,” she said, laughing at herself.
Around the fifty-five-minute mark, she asked me, “Wait, are you in the shower?”
By this time, we had been joking enough that I understood how PCA could alter her vision and said, “Actually, yes, I am. I’m on a bicycle, in the shower. I’m very talented.”
We both laughed at one another.
“It’s this damn PCA, man, I’m telling you,” she said.
Right then, I knew I had the perfect title of her chapter.
Despite Lorrin’s sense of humor, the harsh reality of her condition is best shown when she described telling her parents about her diagnosis. She said, “After I was diagnosed, my mother asked me, ‘What does this mean?’ I told her, ‘This means I’ll probably die before you do.’”
Whenever I saw Lorrin after our interview, as much as I wanted to focus on her smile, the words to her mother always stick in my head, even today. When she told me that story so matter-a-factly, I realized that she had made peace with her life.
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
The “aha moment” for my book completely rocked my original plan for The Optimistics. When I first reached out to the original three Optimistics — Dennis, Mike, and Jim — to share their story, my initial plan was to focus solely on the three of them. They were the poster boys for the Optimistics movement, and I wanted others to benefit from their philosophy. However, everything changed after I attended my first YES! meeting and met twenty other people living with YOD, along with their care partners — all in the same unfortunate boat as Dennis, Mike, and Jim.
Although the original three Optimistics started the movement, I quickly realized that anyone could call themselves an Optimistic. After leaving that meeting, I sat in my car and cried for thirty minutes. I felt an overwhelming need to do more for the world of YOD. That support group session was a turning point for everything that would become The Optimistics. After I left the session, I did two things: I broke down in my car crying because the emotions of hearing people’s stories resonated with me in a way I hadn’t expected. I was changed. After I dried my eyes, I immediately called my publisher and said, ‘There is much more to this story.’
That pivotal moment expanded the scope of The Optimistics into a broader social commentary on YOD, incorporating voices far beyond the original three. Every chapter of the book now tells a new story — highlighting the experiences of individuals with YOD and their care partners — all sharing the passionate message of fighting through the darkness as Optimistics. This approach not only enriched the book’s narrative but also amplified awareness by spotlighting a wide range of stories and perspectives.
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
The most rewarding part of creating any art form is seeing how it resonates with others — how people find pieces of themselves within your work. One of the most impactful comments I received early on was from a care partner of someone with YOD. They said, “This book made me feel seen. The stories remind us how resilience and love can shine through even the darkest of times.”
I found their words incredibly heartfelt and impactful. Many others have told me similar things about finally feeling heard, seen, and understood. They felt I gave the YOD community a voice, which made me proud to provide that platform to the world of Alzheimer’s and dementia as a whole. Knowing that I’ve given a voice to those who may otherwise remain unheard is one of the greatest accomplishments of The Optimistics.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
Yes, yes, and absolutely, yes. Unfortunately, I could list hundreds of ways to help, but here are my top three:
1. Eliminate the stigma surrounding dementia.
We need to stop viewing a dementia diagnosis as the end of a person’s life. While the eventual outcome of the disease is undeniable, it doesn’t mean someone has to stop living immediately after the diagnosis. Dementia comes in many forms, and while its unpredictable nature can be challenging, people with dementia can often live active and meaningful lives for years before the disease fully manifests.
2. Address the astronomical costs of medications and care.
Medication and insurance prices for dementia patients are outrageous. Pharmaceutical companies have been ripping apart homes of Alzheimer’s and dementia patients for decades with “promises” and “commitments”…at a price of course. One of the Optimistics, Mike, even spoke at a rally outside HHS in Washington, D.C., about price-gouging for a key dementia medication. At the time, a single shot cost over $20,000, and Medicare didn’t cover it. While there has been some progress, it’s not nearly enough. The Alzheimer’s Association does an incredible job advocating for research, education, and development, but real change can only happen if pharmaceutical companies and insurers lower their prices.
Additionally, the cost of living and care in private dementia facilities is crushing. Prices can range from $5,000 to over $20,000 per month, depending on the level of care and location. Even the wealthiest families can be financially devastated. Care partners are essential to a person’s quality of life, but there’s only so much they can do without professional support. The current system is unsustainable and agonizing for families.
3. Provide financial support for care partners.
Being a care partner is a full-time job with no pay or benefits. Most of the time, the care partner is thrown into the role with no training or knowledge. The care partner can get lost, confused, stressed, and it takes a toll on their mental health. There needs to be a financial stipend or grant program for individuals caring for loved ones — not just for dementia but for any debilitating illness. Care partners make enormous sacrifices to ensure their loved ones receive proper care, and it’s long overdue for society to recognize and support their efforts.
These are just the tip of the iceberg, but they’re a good start.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
Leadership, to me, means providing unwavering confidence and support to your team to bring out the best results from everyone involved. A leader is the face, the focal point, and ultimately the one responsible for the team’s success. If a leader projects insecurity or dysfunction, no one will rally behind them.
The idea that leadership is simply given — not earned — is a fallacy in any business or campaign. Many leaders think their title or CV alone is enough to command respect, but that’s far from true. While those credentials may get you in the door, they won’t earn the trust and loyalty of your team. Your team needs to feel that you believe in them just as much as you believe in yourself.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why?
1. “The butt you kick on the way up is the butt you kiss on the way down.”
When I was training to be a professional wrestler, a veteran trainer shared this advice to emphasize the importance of respect within the wrestling community. This lesson applies to everyday business and relationships as well: don’t mistreat people while climbing the ladder of success, because you’ll likely need their support on your way down. People will never forget how they were treated — good or bad — so always show respect.
2. “Don’t take ‘no’ from a person who doesn’t have the authority to say ‘yes.’”
My mom taught me this early in life. People often say “no” purely out of a power trip, but they may not even have the final say. Keep pushing until you get a definitive answer — whether it’s “yes” or “no” — from someone with actual authority.
3. “It’s paint on canvas.”
In college, my art teacher used this phrase during a critique to diffuse unnecessary negativity. A student rudely questioned a classmate’s abstract work by asking, “What is it?” Without missing a beat, the teacher replied, “It’s paint on canvas.” It was a simple way to shut down rude criticism while also putting things into perspective. I use this phrase often to neutralize pointless challenges or arguments in all aspects of life, not just art. Not everyone is going to appreciate what you’re doing or working on, and that’s fine, because to you it makes sense and to you it’s your passion.
4. “No one cares. Work harder.”
This phrase has circulated in various professional circles, and it’s one of the most important truths for anyone starting out. If you’re not getting the results you want, no one will sympathize with you. You hate your situation? No one cares. Work harder. Success requires relentless effort, not excuses.
5. “No, everything does not happen for a reason.”
I know this might upset some people, but I’ve always hated the saying, “Everything happens for a reason.” While I understand the sentiment behind it, I believe that things happen because you make them happen. As an author known for optimism, it may seem ironic for me to hold this view, but I can’t ignore the fact that effort and action — not fate — drive outcomes.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
This may be a different kind of quote than others presented but it has been my favorite of all time. There’s a song by Guy Clark called The Cape which has always inspired me. It tells the story of a little boy who ties a flour sack around his neck as a superhero cape and pretends he can fly. Every child believes the world is open to them for anything they want to pursue, then reality smacks us all in the face. With that though, there are people who still keep the confidence up through all the doubt. The chorus goes:
“He’s one of those who knows that life,
Is just a leap of faith,
Spread your arms and hold your breath,
Always trust your cape.”
This quote reminds me to embrace the leap of faith that comes with chasing dreams. It has helped me push past negativity and pursue my goals, even when the odds seemed stacked against me. Not every venture will work out, but the moments of success make all the effort worthwhile. Regret comes not from failure, but from never trying in the first place.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
Look, if you can tag this person and they respond, I may have to be hospitalized. So, if you’re reading this, Sir Paul McCartney, please drop us a like or shoot an email our way. Sadly, if I did meet him in person, I would be like the Chris Farley “interview skit” with McCartney they did years ago on Saturday Night Live. If you haven’t seen it, please Google that clip and you’ll completely understand what I mean. However, it’s basically, Farley in shock and awe he’s interviewing Paul that he fumbles over every word and attempt to be a “professional interviewer”. That would be me.
When I think about what The Beatles did in the short amount of time they were together as a band, compared to all the other greats, it’s mind boggling. I’ve seen tons of interviews with Paul in various stages of his career and I’m more impressed with each one. Also, if watch videos of Paul and The Beatles crafting a song from scratch, it’s like pure magic — out of this world, unfathomable creativity. There are few people in the world whose sheer presence can take the air out of a room with simply walking in, and Paul is one of those rare few.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
As I said before, I love to connect with people about my work and learn more about theirs as well. Please visit www.RichieFrieman.com, Instagram at @RichieFrieman, LinkedIn under Richie Frieman, and on facebook.com/RichieFrieman. Please don’t hesitate to reach out!
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Thank you for taking the time to showcase my work and career. It’s because of people like you that allow artists like me to help spread the word about our projects. I really appreciate it, and Happy New Year!
About The Interviewer: Yitzi Weiner is a journalist, author, and the founder & Editor-In-Chief of Authority Magazine. The guiding principle behind all of Authority Magazine’s content is that good stories should be beautiful to heart, mind, and eyes.
Yitzi is also the CEO of Authority Magazine’s Thought Leader Incubator, which has guided dozens of leaders to become trusted authorities in their field after becoming syndicated columnists, authors, and media commentators. Yitzi is also the author of five books.
At Authority Magazine, Yitzi has conducted or coordinated more than 4000 empowering interviews with prominent Authorities like Shaquille O’Neal, Floyd Mayweather, Kelly Rowland, Bobbi Brown, Daymond John, Lori Greiner, Robert Herjavec, Lindsay Lohan, Cal Ripken Jr., Jillian Michaels, Derek Hough, and the C-Suite executives of companies like eBay, Kroger, American Express, MasterCard, 3M, L’Oréal, Walgreens, Intuit, Virgin, Campbell, Walmart, CVS, Wells Fargo, AT&T, Oracle, ZOOM, Udemy, Samuel Adams Beer, Zappos, Adobe, Capital One, Lockheed Martin, Gallup, Procter & Gamble , Anheuser-Busch, Chipotle, Starbucks, and thousands others.
A trained Rabbi, Yitzi is also a dynamic educator, teacher and orator. He currently lives in Maryland with his wife and children.
If you are a successful leader in your field, and think you would be a good fit for the Thought leader Incubator, feel free to reach out to Yitzi anytime.
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Richie Frieman Of “The Optimistics” Is Helping To Change… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.