Raising Resilient Kids: Annie Bertrand Of Astrology with Annie On Strategies for Nurturing Emotional Strength in Children
An Interview With Dr. Kate Lund
Don’t try to fix your child’s emotions. I know it’s hard to see your child hurt and/or suffering. It’s completely normal to want to make the situation better. But what children need first is a safe space for their emotions. They need to know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, embarrassed, or whatever it is. And although your intentions are great, when you jump into fixer mode, you skip the validation step which is what they really need from their parents. Children whose emotions are validated end up being more emotionally resilient because they are not running from their emotions or suppressing them.
In today’s fast-paced world, children face numerous challenges that can impact their emotional well-being. Developing resilience is key to helping them navigate these obstacles and grow into emotionally strong individuals. How can parents, educators, and caregivers foster this resilience in children? As part of this interview series, we had the pleasure to interview Annie Bertrand.
Annie Bertrand is an astrologer and energy healer who helps moms overcome generational trauma and raise confident, thriving children without relying on gentle parenting by using astrology. She is the creator of the Astro Parenting course which helps moms uncover the parenting manual they didn’t even know existed.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your backstory?
As far back as I can remember, I never felt like I fit in and I always questioned things. From a very young age I could see through a lot of systemic issues (it’s a Millennial super power with our Pluto in Scorpio). This led to me experiencing my first diagnosed major depression at only 16 years old. I spent all of my 20s in and out of depression and therapy trying to find myself, and find a way to live in a world that always felt very heavy to me. It’s no surprise that I obtained my Bachelor’s degree in Human Relations, which I like to describe as the intersection of psychology and sociology; the study of why people do the things they do and how that is affected by group dynamics. After graduation, I began working in a Pharmaceutical marketing agency. I truly loved it, as I loved science and helping people, so Pharma felt like a mix of both. Once I became a mom, I quickly realized that agency life with its 50+ hours a week and unpredictable deadlines was not conducive to family life. I switched over to Pharma training and eventually obtained a role within a very well known Pharmaceutical company. In terms of my corporate career, I had “made it”. But after becoming a second time mom, I suffered from severe postpartum depression. I was prescribed the usual antidepressants and sleeping pills I had taken in my 20s, so I was very familiar with them and the side effects; and it just did not make sense to me to take these while breastfeeding and needing to wake up every couple of hours to care for my baby. Because of my background in Pharma, I knew how to research and read medical studies so I went on a quest to find alternative treatment. I discovered CBD and medical cannabis use for veterans, and with the blessing of my therapist I self-treated my postpartum depression. At this point, I was deeply questioning the Pharma industry. I would cry on my way to work because I was no longer in alignment with what I once whole-heartedly believed in. I felt like a complete fraud, which catapulted me into a deep dark night of the soul, AKA my Saturn return at age 29, and so I left the industry and became a life coach with a focus on working with other moms who also felt let down by the system.
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to your particular career path?
It was the summer of 2020 and I was incredibly anxious because of the state of the world. I had a 5 year old and a 2.5 year old, and I worried about their future daily. I decided to book an astrology reading with the hope that it would give me some insights and clarity on the year ahead. At the end of this reading, the astrologer said that in the next couple of months I would meet a spiritual teacher of some sort, and that it would change the course of my career (I was about a year into life coaching at this point). A few weeks later, a friend invited me to a free Facebook challenge led by an energy healer. In those 3 days I learned so many things about my inner child wounds, ancestral patterns, and why I had been struggling with my mental health since the age of 16. I just knew I needed to learn this healing modality for myself, my children and my clients. With the astrology reading at the back of my mind, it was an absolute no-brainer to jump into learning this modality. Fast forward 2 years later, I was studying for the advanced practitioner level of this energy healing modality; we were accessing past life records and I discovered that I had been an astrologer in multiple previous lives! This revelation led me to combine astrology with energy healing to better support my clients in liberating their family lines from generations and generations of trauma, so that they can raise children who won’t need decades of therapy like most of my clients did.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on raising resilient kids? In your opinion, what is your unique contribution to this field?
I always giggle when people say that children and parenting don’t come with a manual, because if you know how to read your child’s birth chart, it’s a pretty complete manual! With my abilities to read both Akashic records and birth charts, I’m able to pinpoint exactly the hardships an individual will face in their lifetime, as well as the family karma and subconscious patterns affecting them. This allows my clients to equip themselves with individualized tools to support their children, and/or outsource to experts when needed. I truly believe that parenting astrology and using it to raise children based on their individual needs is the natural evolution of conscious parenting.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Gandhi
Like I said earlier, I never fit in. I’ve always been way ahead of the curve (thanks to all the cardinal energy in my chart plus my Aquarius stellium). I believe I was in highschool when I first heard this quote, and it gave me such a sense of inner peace. It was something for me to cling to, a way to turn the fact that I was constantly misunderstood, into a deep realization that I’ve been a trailblazer from a very young age.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. How can parents handle situations when a child faces failure or disappointment? What strategies can parents use to help a child bounce back?
The approach I take with my kids is to validate their feelings, but not their beliefs. For example; “I hear that you’re so disappointed that your team didn’t win the soccer match, but no you’re not the worst player on the team. Why do you believe that?”. We have to help them separate themselves, their sense of identity, from the emotions. Help them see that emotions are not facts or ultimate truths. And while the emotions are indeed valid, it’s important to not turn these moments in time into beliefs about who we are. I encourage and model “I feel” language instead of “I am” statements.
What role does parental modeling of resilience play in the development of emotional strength in children? Can you share an example of a resilient parenting moment that you experienced directly or that you have come across in the course of your work?
Parental modeling is so important. Between the ages of 0–7 years old our subconscious mind is being shaped and molded based on what we hear, experience and witness. Our belief systems are created during childhood, and these beliefs go on to shape and affect our day to day lives well into adulthood. Something I often see when working with anxious children for example, is an anxious parent. Or children who think the worst case scenario, often have a pessimistic parent.
What approaches do you recommend to foster a growth mindset in children, encouraging them to see challenge as opportunities to learn?
The best way is to model it yourself. Children are always watching and learning from us as parents. So the way we react and talk about our challenges is one of the most important things. You want to avoid playing the blame game, or talking like you are a victim of the circumstances. We also debrief a lot in our house. Once I’ve held space for the initial feelings, I always ask my kids “what could we have done differently here, or what did we learn”. I also always tell them that we cannot control things or control the outcome, but what we can control is our mindset and the words we use. I then use playfulness and over exaggeration to show the power of our words and intentions, and I ask my children to observe how differently it feels to empower vs disempower yourself.
How can parents balance providing support with allowing their children to experience and overcome difficulties on their own?
No parent wants to see their child struggle or suffer, so having an understanding of the bigger picture of their life path and hardships is priceless. When you use astrology to understand their destiny path and the life lessons their soul chose, you uncover a compass for your parenting. You’re able to know whether you need to step in and offer support, or if this is a life lesson that needs to be played out while you stay close by on the sidelines.
What self-care practices would you recommend for parents to maintain their own resilience while going through the everyday challenges of raising children?
As a parent myself, I know that it can be difficult to make the time for self-care, so utilizing astrological insights from your own birth chart can maximize your limited efforts. For personalized self-care, as an astrologer I look to the person’s 6th house of health and daily habits. If your 6th house is ruled by a fire sign (Aries, Leo or Sagittarius) then optimal self-care would include physical activity, bonus points if it’s physical activity that is empowering such as kickboxing or dancing. For an earth ruled 6th house (Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn), grounding and nourishing self-care is best such as skin care like using a gua sha with a nice face oil. For an air ruled 6th house (Gemini, Libra or Aquarius) you want to prioritize self-care around mental stimulation such as reading a book. And finally, a water ruled 6th house (Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces) would benefit from self-care that allows them to release their emotions such as journaling or artistic expression.
Can you please share “5 Strategies To Raise Children With Resilience and Emotional Strength”?
1. Use your child’s Moon sign to nurture their emotional world and help them feel safe. This is my #1 Astro-Parenting hack. The Moon tells you so much about your child’s inner world and how they process their emotions; I wish every single parent had this information. For example, I’m a Capricorn Moon so I have a tendency to suppress my emotions. I like to put them away nicely in a little box in my mind, never to be seen again. If this was my child, I would focus on getting them to talk about their emotions and to notice where they can feel them in their body.
2. Use your child’s Mercury placement to help them regulate their nervous system. For example, my Mercury is in Aries which is a fast-pace fire sign. I talk fast, my mind is incredibly quick, and I have a hard time slowing down. Nowadays everyone suggests meditation and how beneficial stillness is. But for me, it makes me even more agitated because I just can’t get through it without my mind wandering off to a million different places. Personally, EFT meditations work much better because the tapping motions engage my brain in a way that keeps me focused, so that I can actually slow down and benefit from meditating.
3. Use your child’s Sun sign to foster their self-confidence by boosting their natural strengths & abilities. My son is in a low-confidence phase of life, because he has a hard time connecting with other children his age. He is a very wise, old soul in a 9 year old’s body. He’s a Leo Sun, so he’s a natural at entertaining others and making them laugh. I encourage this by randomly giving him little prompts like “hey I need a DJ for our Sunday cleaning playlist”. I also give him a lot of verbal praise and make sure to point out his wins when I notice them. Leos thrive with words of affirmation.
4. Heal your own inner child. I cannot stress this one enough. Children are basically walking, talking mirrors for all our unhealed wounds. And if you don’t deal with your own wounds, then you project them onto your children, which continues the cycle of ancestral wounding. My daughter reminds me so much of myself as a child. She is loud, unfiltered, full of life and passion. My own childhood experience was always being told that I was “too much”, that I needed to calm down. Naturally, my daughter used to trigger me on the daily and I was trying to change her because my subconscious mind was screaming “danger” when I saw her acting as her full of life self. I was unconsciously telling her that who she is, is wrong, which had her on the fast track to becoming an adult with low self-esteem and low self-worth. Now, thanks to energy healing and astrology, I am able to see her and accept her for who she is. I’m no longer reliving my childhood through her childhood.
5. Don’t try to fix your child’s emotions. I know it’s hard to see your child hurt and/or suffering. It’s completely normal to want to make the situation better. But what children need first is a safe space for their emotions. They need to know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, embarrassed, or whatever it is. And although your intentions are great, when you jump into fixer mode, you skip the validation step which is what they really need from their parents. Children whose emotions are validated end up being more emotionally resilient because they are not running from their emotions or suppressing them.
How can mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques be incorporated into daily routines to support children’s emotional resilience?
One of the easiest ways is through story books. I always purchase books that talk about mindfulness and/or emotional regulation for our nightly story time. My absolute favorites are the My Superpower series by Alicia Ortego. It’s also easiest to add-on to habits and routines that you already do. For example at supper time I like to ask my kids “what was your favorite part of the day” and “what was your least favorite part”. At bedtime, we say some affirmations and things we are grateful for. By anchoring it to things we are already doing, I’m not adding more to my already very full plate.
Are there any specific tools or resources (books, apps, courses) you recommend for individuals looking to improve in this area?
Lately we are loving the Hack Your Nervous System card deck by Brianna Rose. It’s like an oracle deck, but with nervous system regulation exercises. My daughter loves picking the cards and doing the exercises, and they are always so spot on! Which is a great way to weave in conversations about following your intuition. Another big hit in our house has been the book Breathe Like a Bear by Kira Willey. It’s a beautifully illustrated book with mindfulness activities that you can do with your children. They’re short and effective exercises, and I like that it offers a variety of exercises; from calming ones to energizers as well.
Wonderful. We are nearly done. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
Amanda Frances! She is such an inspiration for me in terms of having it all, and not sacrificing work nor family while running an online empire.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I have a blog on my website where I post articles about Astro Parenting and family karma. Readers can also sign up for my email list there, as well as download a free guide to learn how to use astrology to reduce conflicts and misunderstanding with their children. On social media, I’m most active on Instagram. My handle is @astrology_with_annie.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
About the Interviewer: Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, podcast host, best-selling author and Tedx Speaker. The power of resilience in extraordinary circumstances kept her thriving as a child. Dr. Lund now helps entrepreneurs, executives, parents, and athletes to see the possibility on the other side of struggle and move towards potential. Her goal is to help each person she works with to overcome their unique challenges and thrive within their own unique context.
Raising Resilient Kids: Annie Bertrand Of Astrology with Annie On Strategies for Nurturing… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.