An Interview With Lucinda Koza
Plan an escape: Life can feel overwhelming during this journey, so planning small excursions or distractions was key. Whether it was taking a short trip to the beach or going for a nice, long walk, getting outside and away from the noise — especially social media — was incredibly helpful. For some people, leaning in by attending events and trying to proceed normally might feel right. For others, pulling back from social events to avoid awkward questions might be better. Either way, carving out time for fun and escape was crucial for me, and it’s something we see being incredibly valuable for our members and patients.
Infertility and the journey through IVF are challenges that many individuals and couples face, often accompanied by emotional, physical, and financial stress. Despite advancements in reproductive technology, the process can be isolating and fraught with uncertainty. How can we better support those navigating infertility and IVF, and what strategies can help manage the various challenges along the way? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jessica Bell van der Wal, CEO & Co-Founder at Frame, a patient concierge platform supporting patients and couples throughout the fertility journey.
Jessica Bell van der Wal is reframing the path to parenthood as the CEO and Founder of Frame, a venture inspired by her own challenging fertility and maternity journey. Founded in 2020, Frame is a virtual-first collaborative care model for fertility and family building. Prior to Frame, she led teams in growth, customer success and strategy at various early and late stage companies including Castlight Health, Nike, Deloitte Consulting and Genentech. She currently sits on the advisory boards of multiple digital health companies, educational institutions, nonprofits, and women’s empowerment organizations. Jessica’s foundational training in public health and international volunteer experience colors her passion for health solutions on a broad scale. Jessica holds a BA in Public Health from UNC Chapel Hill and an MBA from Harvard Business School.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you tell us a bit about you and your backstory?
Thank you! I’m so honored to be here discussing a topic I care so deeply about.
I grew up in North Carolina with two incredible parents — one an entrepreneur and business owner, and the other more or less a constant caregiver to me and our extended family. In many ways, it feels like I was destined for the path I’m on now: an entrepreneur and business owner in healthcare, focused on taking care of others through our work.
I’m also a mom to a strong, independent four-year-old named Parker, who came to us through fertility treatment. I’m a wife and co-founder to my husband, Corey, who I’ve known for over 15 years. It’s wild that we work together, but it’s also ideal and feels so right in so many ways.
We live in San Mateo, California, and love anything that involves food or the outdoors.
How did you get involved in this field?
Fertility — or rather, infertility — is such a loaded word for me. I care deeply about this field, but it was also a painful journey to get to the other side. And while I’m lucky to be on the other side now, it was incredibly hard. I don’t think we should shy away from saying that. None of this is easy, no matter how it may look on social media or in articles.
How I came to found Frame, a company focused on supporting people at every stage of the fertility journey, is both deeply personal and professional. I’ve spent my entire career working in healthcare, and I’m also someone who went through a fertility journey filled with twists and turns. I wanted to take those experiences and use them to make the process better for others. That mission is what drives me every day.
From your experience working with individuals and couples navigating infertility and IVF, what are some of the most common emotional challenges they face, and how can healthcare providers best support them in managing these emotions?
It’s a tough journey — physically, ,emotionally and financially — and we should never downplay that or make people feel like they need to make it look easy. It’s not. The most impactful way to strengthen the patient-provider relationship is to acknowledge this reality. Acknowledge that it’s hard, overwhelming, and all-consuming. Then ask: How can I help? What do you need?
Some patients want everything laid out verbally and prefer to talk it through, while others need to process information in writing or reflect on it after a visit before following up. This is one reason why I think the work we do at Frame is so essential. It’s hard to fit everything into an in-person visit, and even if it were possible, it’s often too much for patients to digest in the moment.
At Frame, we pair patients with fertility coaches who help them prepare for visits and process everything afterward. Many patients feel intimidated during appointments and freeze — I know I did. If providers can meet patients where they are, acknowledge how overwhelming it is, and express empathy, it can lead to more impactful visits and a stronger relationship.
That said, we ask a lot of doctors, and the reality is that visits are never long enough to cover everything. I recognize how challenging this is. That’s why support mechanisms between visits, like Frame, are so critical to help bridge the gap and ensure patients feel supported throughout their journey.
Fertility treatments often come with significant physical and hormonal impacts on the body. What strategies do you recommend to patients for managing the physical toll of IVF, and how can healthcare professionals better assist in minimizing these side effects?
To be clear, I’m not a doctor, so I’m not going to weigh in on protocols or medical approaches. However, when it comes to improving the patient experience, my guidance is this: it’s essential for patients to know what is normal and expected versus what may not be, so they understand when to ask for help. Otherwise, patients may sit in pain, unsure whether to reach out — and that’s never something we want for them. Setting clear expectations and guiding them on where to go and who to contact if they’re uncertain or struggling is key.
I remember my doctor providing written documents that outlined what to expect pre- and post-op, and I referred back to them constantly. My partner could also review them and check in with me as needed. This is where written guidelines and information become incredibly important — especially since patients are often overwhelmed by the procedures and may not retain everything shared verbally.
I can’t tell you how many visits I had where I later had to ask my partner what the doctor said. Not everyone has someone with them, though, and it’s so hard to navigate this process alone. Even when you’re not technically alone, it can still feel incredibly isolating. Clear, accessible information can make such a difference in helping patients feel supported and empowered.
Following through with the complete process of fertility testing and treatment can be absolutely grueling for the body for what could be years. How can someone cope with constant procedures, medications, hormones?
It truly is a lot. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is recognize when it’s time to take a break and reset. This process takes a significant toll on both your body and your mind, and after multiple rounds, stepping back to breathe can be incredibly beneficial.
For example, if a patient is transitioning from IUI to IVF, taking a short vacation or getaway can be a great way to wipe the slate clean — especially after experiencing failures, which can start to feel overwhelming or even hopeless. That said, everyone is different.
At Frame, we focus on helping people tune in to themselves and their bodies. We encourage reflection on what has helped them through other challenging situations and what might work best in this moment. Sometimes, giving yourself permission to pause can make all the difference.
Financial stress is a major factor for many couples undergoing fertility treatments. How can healthcare providers and therapists address this stress proactively, and are there any resources or advice you offer to help patients navigate the financial challenges of IVF?
This is such an important topic. Of course, I wish that everyone had financial coverage and access to care to build the family they want, especially given the reality that so much of this is out of our control. That’s why I’m so honored to support organizations like RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, which consistently advocates for expanded coverage and access to care for all.
In addition to RESOLVE, there are other fantastic resources, such as the Jewish Fertility Foundation and Fertility for Colored Girls, which support people through grant programs and advocacy. I’m also continuously impressed with the innovative resources clinics offer and the partnerships they’re forming to address the financial burden of fertility care.
Many clinics now provide in-house shared risk programs, which help patients afford care and increase the chances of walking away with a baby. Additionally, some clinics partner with loan or insurance providers like Sunfish, Future Family, and Gaia, offering more flexible financing options. There’s so much exciting innovation happening in this space, and I love to see it.
Most importantly, I think in-house financial counselors or educators can be an excellent resource for patients. Many clinics offer these services alongside the first new patient visit to help patients understand their coverage. They do an amazing job. However, as we all know, insurance coverage is often sparse or nonexistent for fertility treatment. When it is available, it can change on a dime and isn’t always as timely or straightforward as we’d like. Clinics can’t always control this aspect, which can be frustrating when things don’t align..
What I truly admire about the fertility field is that everyone is united by a shared goal: helping patients achieve the family they dream of. For patients, the most important step is partnering with their clinic to navigate the financing side and explore all available options together.
Can you please share “5 Things You Need to Navigate the Challenges of Infertility and IVF”?
- “Find a buddy”: I put this in quotes because it can take many forms — a partner, a friend, a coach, or a therapist. But someone. Ideally a person who “gets it” that you can turn to when you need to fall apart. This journey can feel incredibly lonely, and without someone to lean on or check in with, it can feel even worse. I will say that even if you have a partner, it may be important to have someone else in addition. Your partner is likely on this rollercoaster too, and it can feel hard to pile even more emotions onto each other. My partner and I both experienced the ups and downs, and sometimes I didn’t want him to see how I was feeling because it made me feel guilty for adding to his burden (even though I shouldn’t have felt that way).
- Identify things you can control: This process is a world completely out of your control. What you eat or how long you sleep is not to blame for whether things work or not. It is not your fault. In this uncontrollable world, what really helped me was finding a sense of control in other areas. I became very diligent about my routines, and that helped me feel better and less like the world was against me. I remember that calendaring my life during this time felt like a trip to the spa because it was something where I could be completely in charge — at least somewhat — despite medical appointments often shifting. Just organizing it all and color-coding my calendar gave me a sense of peace.
- Plan an escape: Life can feel overwhelming during this journey, so planning small excursions or distractions was key. Whether it was taking a short trip to the beach or going for a nice, long walk, getting outside and away from the noise — especially social media — was incredibly helpful. For some people, leaning in by attending events and trying to proceed normally might feel right. For others, pulling back from social events to avoid awkward questions might be better. Either way, carving out time for fun and escape was crucial for me, and it’s something we see being incredibly valuable for our members and patients.
- Celebrate the wins: Another challenge in this journey is that it can always feel like there’s one more hurdle — one more cycle, one more visit, one more ultrasound. Even once pregnant, it can feel like you’re holding your breath until the birth. That’s hard, yet understandable. It took so much to get here that it can feel difficult to allow yourself to be happy. That said, we encourage finding little wins to celebrate. Nothing about this journey is what you expect, and it’s far from perfect. So celebrate when you get through your first injection or if you receive positive results from your retrieval. It may not be everything you hoped for, but it’s something — and you deserve to celebrate, too.
- Prioritize a supportive care team: Feeling supported by your medical team is critical. You need to feel heard and understood. Sometimes, you may not feel that way, and advocating for yourself becomes essential. At Frame, we work hard with our members to help them put their emotions and concerns into words. What do you need? What are you not getting? What would you like to see done differently? Sometimes, it’s about being concrete and offering tangible feedback so your care team can adjust. And if it’s still not working, it’s okay to ask to switch to a different doctor. It’s okay to ask for what you need. This is a long road, and you deserve to feel as supported as possible — especially when it comes to your care. Let’s be honest: not all personality types will ever gel, and that’s okay for everyone involved.
The isolation that often accompanies infertility can be overwhelming. What role does mental health support play in the IVF journey, and what can healthcare professionals do to create a more connected and supported experience for patients going through this process?
It’s such a big part of the experience, honestly. I would spend nights scrolling through social media, just spiraling. Yes, the physical aspect is hard, but candidly, I think the mental load is the toughest element — especially with the hormones you’re pumping into your body.
On this front, I’m so thrilled to see that the mental aspect is becoming more of a focus now. Clinics are recognizing that the mental load is a significant reason for dropout. Data shows that up to one-third or more of people drop out due to the stress of it all. An infertility diagnosis is mentally comparable to receiving a cancer diagnosis.
I’m so glad to see clinics making this a top priority. It’s also one of the key reasons my company, Frame, exists. We provide emotional support during the journey. We help people feel seen and understood, and that’s so critical. In hindsight, I wish I had understood that it wasn’t just me or something I did wrong. This is so common — at least 1 in 6 couples struggle with infertility — and we need to treat it that way.
Wonderful. We are nearly done. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-)?
Ah, I love this question. I would pick someone I recently emailed and was so stunned to hear back from — maybe this can be the extra nudge to bring us together over a meal: Emily Oster. First off, I love her books. Similar to what I mentioned earlier, her Expecting Better book helped me feel less alone and, honestly, less crazy as I navigated all the headlines about what to do and not to do while pregnant.
I’ll be frank — this world does not make it easy to be a parent. When you’re pregnant, everyone seems to have an opinion about what you’re doing — not to you, but to your baby. Emily’s book removed that sense of shame for me. What about having a piece of sushi or fancy cheese while pregnant? Of course, it’s all about the baby, and yes, we care deeply about the baby (frankly, I went through years of pain and treatment to get here, so of course I care!). But we also have to care about the mother and the parents too.
Her book brought down the temperature on these debates for me and eased the shame and guilt that so many of us feel at every stage of this journey. It’s time we started prioritizing the health and well-being of mothers and parents, and I’m so grateful to Emily for reinforcing that message.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Let’s approach each other with kindness. The world has been filled with so much negativity recently, and I’d love to see us get back to the basics. We are all human, so let’s treat each other that way — especially online. Goodness!
On that note, if you’re thinking about asking someone when they’re going to have a child or perhaps a second child (like me), please don’t. It might seem kind, but it’s not.
How can our readers follow your work online?
Thanks for asking. The best place to follow me is on LinkedIn as I am not super active in other places. And then to follow my company, you can find us online and on various social media channels, including Instagram and LinkedIn.
Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.
About the Interviewer: After becoming her father’s sole caregiver at a young age, Lucinda Koza founded I-Ally, a community-based app that provides access to services and support for millennial family caregivers. Mrs. Koza has had essays published in Thought Catalog, Medium Women, Caregiving.com and Hackernoon.com. She was featured in ‘Founded by Women: Inspiration and Advice from over 100 Female Founders’ by Sydney Horton. A filmmaker, Mrs. Koza premiered short film ‘Laura Point’ at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival and recently co-directed ‘Caregivers: A Story About Them’ with Egyptian filmmaker Roshdy Ahmed. Her most notable achievement, however, has been becoming a mother to fraternal twins in 2023. Reach out to Lucinda via social media or directly by email: lucinda@i-ally.com.
Jessica Bell van der Wal Of Frame On Navigating the Challenges of Infertility and IVF was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.