Raising Resilient Kids: Heather Pospishil Of Woodworth-Monroe School on Strategies for Nurturing Emotional Strength in Children
An Interview With Dr. Kate Lund
Pause & Regulate — Parents and teachers can execute this by turning off the lights and having children close their eyes and sit in silence for five minutes. This has been so impactful in my classroom! The regulation strategy helps students regulate their nervous systems. Following the five minutes, students can think more clearly instead of simply reacting to situations. This has also de-escalated situations when students’ emotions were high.
In today’s fast-paced world, children face numerous challenges that can impact their emotional well-being. Developing resilience is key to helping them navigate these obstacles and grow into emotionally strong individuals. How can parents, educators, and caregivers foster this resilience in children? As part of this interview series, we had the pleasure to interview Heather Pospishil.
Heather Pospishil teaches English and journalism to seventh and eighth grade students at Woodworth-Monroe School in Inglewood, California. After receiving support from her high school English teacher amidst an unstable childhood, Heather attended and graduated college before entering the education sector via Teach For America, a teacher prep organization with a core value of resiliency. Heather is passionate about her students’ well-being and ensuring they have equitable opportunities, a wonderful education and a thriving life.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you.’ Can you tell us a bit about your background and your backstory?
Thank you so much for the opportunity to speak today. My name is Heather Pospishil, but I’m known as “Miss P” to my students. I’m a seventh and eighth grade English and journalism teacher at Woodworth-Monroe School in Inglewood, California.
I grew up in Ronan Montana on the Flathead Reservation, which was a very close-knit community of about 2,000 people. Our community experienced a lot of need, but we supported each other.
As a child, I knew my upbringing was unstable, but I didn’t realize the full gravity of it. I hadn’t understood I was homeless. My community gathered around me and sheltered me from a lot of negative experiences in my life.
I lived with my birth mother, who experienced chronic illness, until first grade before living on-and-off with my grandparents. In fifth grade, I was taken in by my aunt and uncle. This was an incredibly difficult transition; experiencing stability after having something so unstable led me to push back and struggle. I had to learn to let these new, caring people into my life as I worked my way out of a survival mindset. I was still trying to take care of my birth mother and my younger brother, who didn’t have much parental guidance, and wondered if I could ever leave without someone watching out for them.
As soon as I turned 15, I began working at a local community hospital to financially support myself and save up for the future. I would go to school each day before working night shifts until 1 a.m. I would be late for school, but everyone in my small community understood why. I began thinking, “maybe I don’t have to leave.” However, I wasn’t happy. I was just surviving.
I had my initial realization that I might want to move away during a classroom activity. My high school English teacher, who had also taught me in middle school, had us build out an itinerary for if we had all the money in the world. Where would we go? What would we do? It was the first time I had truly thought about leaving.
My teacher and I began looking at colleges together. When I thought I couldn’t afford tuition, she told me about scholarships and talked me into applying. My mailbox filled with acceptance letters, and my family saw my face light up. My family told me they would support my birth mom and younger brother if I chose to attend college.
I chose to attend Boise State University with an in-state tuition scholarship and several writing scholarships. It was both far enough and close enough to home. After I graduated in December 2021, I joined Teach For America’s Los Angeles corps. I’ve been teaching since 2022!
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to your particular career path?
I grew up with ample displacement, in a lower socioeconomic class and in a community with few resources. Education was the one way out for me. I had always loved reading and writing, but I hadn’t imagined becoming a teacher. Teaching chooses you.
My high school English teacher was and is such a role model for me. She saw my needs and took care of me during times of instability. She encouraged me to apply for college and supported me during the entire process. Teachers have a unique perspective into the lives of their students.
While in college, an advisor recommended I pursue Teach For America (TFA). Though I didn’t look into it then, I revisited the program following graduation and loved its values and mission.
As a TFA Corps Member, I was placed in Woodworth-Monroe for a two-year program. I fell in love with the school, students and community, and I’ve stayed here since! Inglewood has some cultural differences from where I grew up in Montana, but so much of it rings true to my childhood. I feel passionately about these kids; they deserve to thrive.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on raising resilient kids? In your opinion, what is your unique contribution to this field?
Once upon a time, I lived these students’ lives. I’m an authority because I’ve made these students’ mistakes and know how they work out. I understand them and tirelessly work to build up these children.
Demonstrating resilience is one of TFA’s seven core values. We were coached in this tenet throughout our teacher certification and preparation, so resiliency is ingrained into how I manage a classroom and build up my students.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
“When you can’t control what’s happening, control the way you react to it.”
In life, there is so much you have no control over — especially as a kid. Instead, we need to focus on how we react. If we feed into negative circumstances, they only get worse. When you choose to take a moment for yourself and come back to the problem, you’ll react much better.
This quote has been prevalent in my whole life, but it was especially pertinent in my first year of teaching. I would be trying so hard with a student and become frustrated because they wouldn’t understand a concept. When my students noticed, they would say, “Miss P… the quote behind you.” I’d turn to my whiteboard, and there it was, just where I had written it as a reminder.
How can parents handle situations when a child faces failure or disappointment? What strategies can parents use to help a child bounce back?
In classroom settings, teachers deal with academics and behavior. Throughout the year, I provide my students with progress reports, which are snapshots of their current grades and behavior. I then ask students to write reflections on the reports. What are you proud of? Why did this not go well for you? This has been a powerful tool to allow students to bounce back.
Beyond progress reports, students also can fill out reflection forms, which are by the classroom door, when they’re experiencing difficult moments. The forms ask students to “talk it through,” prompting them to consider what led to this situation, their perceptions and their reactions. It deescalates situations and lets students independently work through issues and feel confident moving forward.
What role does parental modeling of resilience play in the development of emotional strength in children? Can you share an example of a resilient parenting moment that you experienced directly or that you have come across in the course of your work?
When I’m feeling under the weather or on edge, I’m honest with my students about where I’m at. I’m not at 100%, but I still show up and teach class to the best of my ability. They don’t need to give up; it’s okay to have a bad day. It’s important to be honest and transparent with your kids.
If there is a really bad classroom day and I get frustrated, my students will ask me not to quit due to their prior experiences of teacher turnover. Instead, I respond that I’m upset right now, but tomorrow is a new day. Both the class and I can take ten minutes of quiet time to collect ourselves, reflect and move forward instead of blowing up over the situation.
What approaches do you recommend to foster a growth mindset in children, encouraging them to see challenges as opportunities to learn?
As I mentioned earlier, I incorporate progress reports and reflection sheets into the classroom to encourage growth mindsets. Additionally, when we do test for literacy, I show students where they’re at. Sometimes, they’re shocked. However, I tell them we can work on it.
Instead of focusing on where we’re starting, my kids learn to focus on how we’re moving forward and making progress. Students need to know they have a support team around them and build up their self-motivation.
How can parents balance providing support with allowing their children to experience and overcome difficulties on their own?
We focus on “productive struggle” in my classroom. I try to make assignments with vague and unclear rules so that students can struggle a bit and try to figure it out themselves before coming to me with questions.
Later in life, they’ll receive vague assignments and tasks and won’t be able to ask so many questions. It’s one thing to learn how to understand instructions, but it’s another to take initiative, work by yourself and initiate group learning. They learn so much from each other and themselves when they take control of and overcome difficult situations.
What self-care practices would you recommend for parents to maintain their own resilience while going through the everyday challenges of raising children?
Parents and teachers must build out their own quiet time and boundaries. I used to be the teacher who lets my kids into the classroom in the morning and during lunch. However, I found myself just reacting throughout the day rather than driving strategy. I would get overstimulated and bring my frustration into my student interactions. Setting aside time for myself makes me a better teacher and maintains my own resilience.
Can you please share “5 Strategies To Raise Children With Resilience and Emotional Strength”?
Absolutely! Here are five strategies and how they look in practice.
Pause & Regulate — Parents and teachers can execute this by turning off the lights and having children close their eyes and sit in silence for five minutes. This has been so impactful in my classroom! The regulation strategy helps students regulate their nervous systems. Following the five minutes, students can think more clearly instead of simply reacting to situations. This has also de-escalated situations when students’ emotions were high.
Written Reflection — When a child experiences a difficult or tense situation, you can often see heavy emotions and tensions in their face and body language. Parents and teachers can help children process this by asking them to write about the situation that occurred, including what led up to and followed the event.
As they write, ask them guiding questions, such as the following: (1) “How might others have seen or understood the situation?” (2) “What were you thinking/feeling when or as this occurred? What have you thought about since?” (3) “Who might have been affected by your actions? In what ways could they be affected?” and (4) “What do you think needs to happen to make things right? What could help you achieve this?” Writing out answers to these questions prompts children to think deeply about the situation and prepare for future difficulties.
Future Forward Thinking — This strategy is geared toward children who are aged 11 and older. Teachers can execute this as a class activity, and parents can practice this strategy when they have a moment of downtime with their child.
Ask the child what they want their life to look like in ten years. While your child or student might not have a dream career or life aspirations, they will likely tell you all about their dream car or house. Some of my students have told me how great it would be to pay off their families’ bills. Encourage the child to dream as big as they’d like, and then ask them to back track. How will they get to that vision? Are the decisions they’re making today aligned with what they need for 10 years down the road? If not, ask how they can get on track and how you can provide support.
Family Vision Boards — This is a fun one geared toward a family or household unit. Collect magazines, newspapers and even advertisements around the house. You — the parent or guardian — should cut out words and images that represent your dreams for your child’s future. Encourage other family members to participate in this as well!
When done, show your child and explain the dreams you have for their future. This helps students visualize a positive future for themselves and understand the support system they have behind them. This also demonstrates that you envision a positive future for your child despite any challenges they or you might face. This strategy encourages emotional resilience, big dreams and encouragement to make it all happen.
Model Communication and Self Care — I use this strategy so often in my classroom and encourage other adults to do the same with their children. When you’re having a bad or off day, make sure you communicate that to your child while sharing that the feeling is temporary. This lets students know that your emotions do not control you and shouldn’t control them, either.
Modeling healthy habits and coping strategies is key for students’ emotional strength. As you showcase your own strategies and tactics, explain how each helps you. Encourage your child to explore different strategies to find which work best for them. Coping with difficulties and stress is different for each person.
How can mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques be incorporated into daily routines to support children’s emotional resilience?
Sometimes, you can feel when students walk into the classroom and are feeling unstructured. I’ll have the class pause and put their heads down for five minutes. Even just this simple practice allows class to go so much better. I’ve noticed students bring this into their own lives when they experience overwhelming emotions.
Students who are experiencing conflict can also opt to take a hall pass and self-regulate in the hallway. Take a breath, walk a lap and get a drink of water. I’d rather have students miss a few minutes of class than deal with repercussions of students starting fights with each other. When students take these positive steps, it’s important to recognize and reinforce the behavior. “I’m really proud of you for doing that.”
Students need explicit instruction and repetition. The habits they have now are harder to break down the road! Building healthy habits now will support their emotional resilience and their academic performance.
Are there any specific tools or resources (books, apps, courses) you recommend for individuals looking to improve in this area?
Not particularly. There are so many great materials for teachers out there. Rather, I’d say the biggest thing is to count the things that are going right in your classroom before you count the things going wrong.
Students can continue to improve by reading books where characters overcome boundaries. I recently received funding for a classroom library, and my students love to choose a book where the characters hit home. My eighth-grade students are currently reading about Frederick Douglass and his journey to literacy.
Is there a person in the world, or in the U.S., with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why?
I would love to sit down with my high school English teacher from all those years ago.
I recently went through my old yearbook and saw photos of her at the time. She was so young — probably around my age. I thought she was so amazing and equipped. I’d love to thank her and tell her how rewarding her classroom experiences were. I would ask her how she did it and inquire as to her teaching secrets.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Readers can keep up with the great work teachers do at Woodworth-Monroe and Inglewood Unified School District at woodworth-monroe.inglewoodusd.com and on X (Twitter) at @ingusd.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
About the Interviewer: Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, podcast host, best-selling author and Tedx Speaker. The power of resilience in extraordinary circumstances kept her thriving as a child. Dr. Lund now helps entrepreneurs, executives, parents, and athletes to see the possibility on the other side of struggle and move towards potential. Her goal is to help each person she works with to overcome their unique challenges and thrive within their own unique context.
Raising Resilient Kids: Heather Pospishil Of Woodworth-Monroe School on Strategies for Nurturing… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.