Amy Chambers Of Little Pretzel Publishing On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone To Grow Both Personally and Professionally
Surround yourself with others who are also getting out of their comfort zones.
It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Amy Chambers.
Amy Chambers is a Success Coach, Leadership Consultant, and two-time bestselling Author. Before starting her own business at the end of 2021, she spent 21 years in financial services, last serving as Chief Operating Officer for SkyOne Federal Credit Union. She’s run 227 half-marathons, 12 full marathons, and is an avid skier.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up as an only child in Buffalo, New York, While I’d describe my childhood as fairly happy, my parents’ marriage was not. Although we were middle-class, we didn’t act like it. We counted every penny and hardly traveled. I can only ever remember taking four family vacations. My mother drove me to be an overachiever and a perfectionist. Growing up, I felt that nothing I did was ever quite good enough. If I received a test score of 95, I was asked why it wasn’t a 100. A positive thing that came from this pressure to perform is that I learned to have high expectations of myself. I doubt I would’ve gotten into the University of Notre Dame without the household focus on academics, and I do believe my college degree has served me well. It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I was finally able to recognize some childhood trauma in my upbringing, and then make the decision to work through it.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
Henry Ford is rumored to have said: “whether you think you can, or think you can’t, either way, you’re right.” This quote is all about the power of belief and self-fulfilling prophecies. It’s been extremely relevant for me.
Until I was 31, I didn’t believe I could run more than a mile. So, I didn’t. In 2015, all that changed. I got dumped. That breakup was traumatic for me, and I sought help with it. I read a few books that made me question everything I once knew. I heard the Henry Ford quote, and decided to test it. I began to tell myself that I could become a runner (even though I hadn’t been one before). Within 15 months, I went from running my very first 5k to running a full marathon. As I neared the finish line of that first full marathon, tears streamed down my face because I had proven to myself, for the first time, I really could do anything I wanted.
In 2021, I set out to prove this to myself once again. Until then, I was deathly afraid of skiing. I didn’t believe I could do it (because I never had). As irrational as this was, I feared serious injury. I finally decided to test the quote, once again. I told myself that skiing was something I could learn with the help of an instructor. As fearful as I was, I flew to Utah and took ski lessons. Since then, I’ve skied over 50 days and have absolutely fallen in love with it. Believing that I could do something, regardless of whether or not I’d done it before, has become a major contributor to my success.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
I’ll share two. Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People transformed my life. That book taught me that between every stimulus and response, lies a space. In that space, we have the freedom and ability to choose our response. While reading this book, I realized that most everything in life is a choice. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond. That’s where all our power lies.
Mindset is another transformational read. Carol Dweck, a Stanford Psychology Professor, shares her robust research and data with us. She argues there’s two types of mindsets we each have: fixed or growth mindsets. Fixed mindset individuals tend to believe attributes such as athletic ability or intelligence as fixed; growth mindset individuals believe they are malleable and everchanging. Upon reading this book, I knew I had grown up with a fixed mindset. If I wasn’t naturally good at something, I tended to avoid it. I focused my efforts on only those things where I had innate ability or raw skill.
Everything I’ll share today is an example of how 7 Habits and Mindset resonate with me.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?
For me, “getting outside our comfort zone” simply means that we’re uncomfortable by choice. It means that we’ve intentionally chosen to do something that causes us discomfort. Typically, we feel uncomfortable when we’re doing something we haven’t done before or are challenging ourselves in new ways. Often, our discomfort comes from fear of what may (or may not) happen. This was certainly the case for me with both running and skiing. I feared looking foolish, falling, failing, or getting injured.
Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?
When we get outside our comfort zones, we often feel some stress and tension. This is what allows us to grow. And we, as humans, are meant to grow and be stretched.
Many of us say we agree with that. However, not as many of us recognize that for something to stretch, it requires tension. Think about rubber bands and the many important and practical purposes they serve. The elastic nature of the rubber band is what makes it so effective. When we stretch a rubber band, we apply tension and stress to it. It’s the same process of stress and tension we apply to our muscles when we lift weights at the gym. This is how strength is built. It’s a repeated process of adding stress and tension to something. Then, we allow it some rest and recovery. Then, we repeat the cycle.
If you’re not putting yourself through a bit of stress and tension periodically to stretch yourself, it’s nearly impossible to grow. Stress and tension are normal and expected parts of growth.
Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?
I’d argue this is very difficult, if not impossible. I can’t think of a single example of this. For most, the big phases in life (where we grow most) require us to get outside our comfort zones. Most high-school graduates that experience growth either go onto college or join the workforce. These are completely new situations for these young adults, and most report being “out of their comfort zone”. Most people who pursue graduate or doctorate work also find themselves out of their comfort zones (again). Moving, starting a new job or at a new school, and/or taking up new sports and hobbies are all ways in which we grow. But, whenever we do something we haven’t done before, it’s normal to feel outside our comfort zone.
When we don’t leave our comfort zone (that is, we continually do the same things, follow the same routines, and associate with the same people), it’s very hard for us to grow. When nothing changes in our external environment, it’s unlikely that we change internally. Mental, emotional, and physical change often requires us to have new experiences. For this to happen, we must expose ourselves to new beliefs, mindsets, values, or approaches. If everything around us stays the same, it’s tremendously hard for us to change.
Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?
Becoming a runner in 2015 certainly got me out of my comfort zone.
I still remember how scared and anxious I felt to attend my first couple of races alone. I worried that I’d be an outcast, wouldn’t have anyone to talk to, and would feel lonely. Doing things by myself was not customary for me. But, I made a conscious decision to enjoy myself and did.
At some point, I decided I wanted to travel for a few races, and did so alone. Once again, I was worried. This time, I feared for my safety and was also afraid I’d feel bored spending a weekend by myself. I did feel somewhat out of place driving or flying to races alone, but I also told myself that I could do hard things, and made the decision to follow through.
Taking the first few steps- with anything- often feels scary and stressful. Remember: that’s a choice you make. Feelings of self-doubt and fear usually come from your subconscious mind, which tries to keep you safe. But you can overcome that I call FUD (fear, uncertainty, and doubt) with your conscious mind. You can talk back to yourself. You can remind yourself that you’re strong, capable, and being uncomfortable is a sign of growth and development. It’s helpful to tell yourself that you can do hard things, and doing so is what causes you to evolve.
What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?
- Set a goal for who you want to become and remember your WHY.
Once you develop a vision around who you are (and who you’d like to be), it’s easier to find reasons to do hard and challenging things. Writing out a vision, mission, or purpose statement for yourself is a great place to start. You can even start by crafting a document that has sentences beginning with the words: “I am a person who…” or “I will become a person who does…”.
This puts you in a position to recall and remember your “why” and that keeps us going when it gets really tough.
I was once ziplining and rappelling in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. One woman in our group was deathly afraid of heights. While getting hooked up for the first zipline, her legs were shaking so badly that her knees almost buckled. She was petrified and even considered leaving (without doing any of the activities). Several participants in the group, including myself, began to negotiate with her. We took turns telling her the activity was safe and she was in good hands. We also reminded her that her husband and two children had already ziplined to the next platform. It took several minutes and several attempts before she finally let go and allowed herself to do the activity. This scenario repeated itself at each platform, with decreasing intensity.
A few ziplines later, I asked this woman why she’d registered for this particular excursion. There had to be reason, and I was curious to know what it was. She explained that she’d struggled with numerous phobias for her entire life, and how many of them had held her back from living fully. She then told me she’d recently noticed her two adolescent children starting to develop many of the same phobias. She believed that her children were learning to be fearful from her. “It’s one thing to hinder myself”, she told me, with tears in her eyes. “I never thought my fears would start to affect my children’s lives. I just can’t have that on my conscious. I can’t live with myself knowing I’ve passed these things down to them.”
I’ll never forget that moment. Talk about a powerful why.
When it was time to rappel backwards down a mountain (alongside a giant waterfall), I’d never seen someone outwardly express so much fear. The woman was more than trembling; she was nearly convulsing. “I can’t do it”, she continually repeated, with an iron-clad grid on the rope and cables. This time, I was more prepared to help. “Remember why you came here”, I gently urged her, over the roar of the water. “Remember your kids and what you want them to learn from you. Think about the life you want them to have. Look at what you’re showing them is possible. I can just tell your family is so proud of you right now. You can do this.”
With a loud shriek, the woman finally let some slack out of the rope and began to descend down the mountain. She screeched the entire way, but I can’t tell you how true my words turned out to be. That event was our toughest obstacle of the day, and I’ve never seen a spouse and children so proud of their mother than what I saw when I made to the bottom of the mountain after her.
This woman’s kids were her “why”. Her desire to help them have a full life was her reason for becoming a person who courageously faced her lifelong fears. Her fear was so great that she almost changed her mind at the last second. But remembering her why (and hearing it out loud) provided the motivation to keep going. Knowing your why is imperative if you’re going to get out of your comfort zone and do hard things.
2. Listen to motivational or inspirational messages.
What we fill our minds with matters. If you want to be successful in leaving your comfort zone, take clues from those who have done what you want to do. Find influential role models that lift you up and follow them. There’s a variety of ways you can do this. You can listen to podcasts, read books, find inspirational music, or tune in to social media accounts. I’ve read books (and tune into social media) for many motivational individuals, but a few of my favorites are Brendan Buchard, Mel Robbins, Brene Brown, and David Goggins. I don’t know who will best inspire you but what I do know is you should take inspiration from someone.
For years, I had some motivational tracks that I would routinely play on YouTube in the early morning before running marathons. These tracks were about ten minutes long. I’d connect my phone to a speaker and have the voices blaring at me while I stretched and got ready to run. Eventually, I knew the lines by heart and would say them along with the speakers. This process allowed my courage, confidence, and excitement to emerge instead of any of the doubt and worry that might’ve otherwise filled my head. When I started race days this way, I noticed I’d actually perform better than when I didn’t. Our mindsets matter. Fill your head with powerful and positive messages that you are enough and can do it. It makes a huge difference.
3. Surround yourself with others who are also getting out of their comfort zones.
If you want to get out of your comfort zone more often, do NOT go it alone. Find people, in your personal life, to lead by example in the quest to do hard, uncomfortable things. If you don’t know anyone who is also getting outside of their comfort zone, it’s going to be hard for you to find the desire to do it, too. You won’t have anyone to take guidance from or compare notes with, especially when you fall down or make mistakes.
When I first became a runner, I decided to join a run club. It was my first time joining any sort of athletic organization, so even the act of going to a meetup for the first time was out of my comfort zone. I showed up and didn’t know a single soul. But, I reminded myself that I’d been in that situation before: on the first day of college, graduate school, and many jobs. I also reminded myself that I had always previously worked through those situations, and that doing it again would make me stronger and better.
Turns out, I was right. I’ve gotten so much support and encouragement from the runners in my club. Many of them are accomplishing far more impressive feats than I am. Several individuals in my run club don’t just run marathons (a distance of 26.2 miles), but ultra races (which are as long as 100 miles). Some members at my run club have completed full Ironman races (a combined distance of 140.6 miles of swimming, biking, and running in one event). Watching those around me set lofty goals for themselves, then continually get out of their comfort zones helps normalize it for me. It shows me what’s possible and helps me recognize that I can do this, too. As a sidenote, I eventually became the Vice President of that same run club!
4. Do new things. Do hard things. Expect them to be hard. Choose to enjoy this.
It’s been said that “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” In other words, we have a choice in how we respond to pain. I couldn’t agree with that sentiment more. When you’re working to leave your comfort zone, make sure you intentionally choose to do hard things. Don’t run away when things are hard but instead, recognize that struggle and challenge is a sign of you growing and learning something new.
When I first started my coaching and consulting practice two years ago, my father’s first response (when I told him) was “Isn’t that going to be hard?”.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I said, “Why, Yes! Yes, it is! That’s why I’m doing it!”.
Starting a business has, in fact, been very hard. Clients haven’t just appeared out of the woodwork to hire me (as I hoped they might). I’ve had to go find them. Writing two books wasn’t a cakewalk, either. It took consistent and religious discipline to make the time to write. Working with website designers to develop my site, crafting a media kit with my offerings, and dealing with prospective clients sometimes rejecting me has all been hard.
One of the things that has seen me through my darkest days in my new role is the awareness that meaningful things are supposed to be hard. Things being hard is a sign I’ve gotten outside my comfort zone and attempted something new (something many of us are afraid to do). I can choose to be proud of myself for that, and grateful too. Instead of saying, “I have to do X”, and I choose my language carefully and say, “I get to do X”. Those minor shifts in how I frame the tasks at hand are important.
5. Set small goals and celebrate along the way.
All too often, I see people give up on goals and dreams far too early because they’re waiting to be at their destination before they can feel good. And, that becomes exhausting. Don’t wait until the finish line to celebrate. Set small milestones and celebrate along the way. Also, don’t only celebrate the results. Celebrate the process. This means making time to celebrate your efforts and your behaviors, too.
Celebrating small wins (especially when you’re out of your comfort zone) is something I regularly coach my clients to do If they’re working to lose weight, even the practice of going to the gym more regularly and showing up a few times a week, should be celebrated. If you want to lose ten pounds, waiting until you’re nine to feel good about your journey isn’t advisable. Choosing to feel proud of yourself for getting to even 10% or 20% of your goal often helps cultivate excitement to keep going, and it’s that excitement that begins to fuel momentum.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?
Fear is the biggest barrier. Fear is a powerful force, and usually it comes from our subconscious mind which does two things. First, it seeks to protect us and keep us safe. Second, it runs old programs. It takes involvement from our conscious minds to override these programs and old habits, and we have to train our conscious mind to do it. There’s a lot more information on this topic in my second book, as well as numerous tricks and tactics to accomplish it.
There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?
This quote encourages us to do everything we’ve talked about in this interview. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, choosing to do things we haven’t done before, embracing struggle and challenge, and knowing we can do hard things all help us grow and evolve as humans.
I agree that we should engage in the practice of pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone as often as possible, even if there’s not a direct correlation to professional or personal growth because that helps us become the sort of person who DOES those things. The more we do things that scare us, the more we learn the valuable lesson that we can do things that scare us (and that our fears aren’t always rational).
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Helping as many people as possible find, read, and practice the two frameworks found in my two books is the movement I believe would bring an incredible amount of good to the world! I haven’t found a leadership model more effective than 7 V.I.R.T.U.E.S. and I know the secrets to personal fulfillment, joy, and success are contained in 6 H.A.B.I.T.S. I’m positive these concepts change lives, so helping them gain national and global recognition is the movement I believe would bring the most good to the most people.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
Mel Robbins, Brene Brown, or Cy Wakeman. These three ladies are incredibly powerful women and believe all the same things I do. I’ve found much truth in their books and motivational videos on social media. I’ve quoted some of them in my own books, and all three of them have influenced my journey as a woman. I hope someday one of them might write a foreword for my book. Nothing would bring me greater joy than that.
How can our readers follow you online?
So many ways! I’m at:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/runcheeseball27/
Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-chambers-4335008/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@coachamychambers2001/videos
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachAmyChambers/
Website: https://amymchambers.com/
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
Amy Chambers Of Little Pretzel Publishing On How to Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone To Grow Both… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.