An Interview With Jake Frankel
Postpartum depression is common.
Studies show that up to one in five women experience a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder like postpartum depression, and that about one in eight experience postpartum depression. One of the symptoms of depression is feeling isolated, so many women experiencing PPD feel like they are alone. It’s important to normalize PPD as a common potential part of the postpartum experience — one that deserves to be discussed and supported.
Postpartum depression affects millions of women worldwide, yet it remains a topic that is often misunderstood and stigmatized. Through this series, we aim to shed light on the various aspects of postpartum depression, including its symptoms, causes, treatment options, and the impact it has on individuals and families. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Lauren Tetenbaum.
Lauren A. Tetenbaum (“The CounseLaur”) is a mother, a writer, and a social worker specializing in supporting millennial moms and young women through life transitions. Through her counseling practice, Lauren provides therapy in New York & Connecticut, facilitates psychoeducational groups and workshops to empower postpartum and other women in corporate settings, and contributes thought leadership on topics like maternal mental health, gender equity, and working parenthood.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we begin, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a little about yourself?
I am a mom of two kids (and a puppy!) and a native New Yorker. I work as a therapist with a primary focus on supporting women during the peripartum period (pre-pregnancy through one year postpartum). I am also a former practicing lawyer, and I bring that background to my work as well, as an Advocacy Lead board member of Postpartum Support International’s New York chapter, as a writer on topics like the need for paid family leave policies, and as a speaker on women’s rights issues. I’m very involved in my community and in efforts supporting at-risk women. I feel privileged to counsel women when they most need and deserve support! Becoming a mother, whether it’s your first baby or you have a big family, is a huge shift on a lot of levels.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview, about postpartum depression. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. Can you please tell us what postpartum depression is?
Postpartum depression is a mental health condition that typically arises within a few weeks of a baby’s birth, usually characterized by feelings of sadness, lots of crying, hopelessness, lack of pleasure, loss of appetite, and other mood symptoms that generally last longer than two weeks.
Can you discuss some common misconceptions about postpartum depression and why they are harmful?
Some common misconceptions about postpartum depression include that it happens only to women, that it always involves sadness, and that it indicates you can’t properly care for your baby. These are harmful misconceptions because believing them may lead to inability to access care. It’s very common to experience postpartum depression or another perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (“PMAD”) but just because it’s common doesn’t mean you have to suffer. You can and should get support, and you will get better with help.
Can you explain the role of hormonal changes in postpartum depression, and how does this influence treatment approaches?
A postpartum woman’s hormones are all over the place, and that can impact her mood. Women who are experiencing PPD might get treated through hormone therapy from a medical provider. Just knowing that hormonal changes are at play behind a shift in mood can be a huge relief for many women. For example, I work with many moms who experience dramatic mood changes when they wean from breastfeeding, which also causes a big hormonal shift. They are usually surprised to hear that mood swings or feelings of sadness are somewhat to be expected, and that helps them distance themselves from their feelings (a cognitive defusion strategy) so they are able to feel a bit better.
How does postpartum depression impact the bonding between a mother and her baby, and what interventions are available to address this?
PPD can lead to a woman feeling disconnected from her baby. When she gets help for her PPD, this will likely be alleviated. Caring for the baby includes caring for the mom. Mothers who have severe PPD are still able to bond with their babies once they are feeling better. She can utilize a variety of treatment modalities to help with this, including CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).
What are some of the best ways to treat postpartum depression?
Postpartum depression can be treated through a variety of ways, including talk therapy or medicine like antidepressants. I specialize in cognitive behavioral therapy where I work with clients to reflect on and modify their thoughts and behaviors to develop more effective coping mechanisms. I help women implement techniques like self-compassion and mindfulness to be nicer to themselves and to notice their thoughts without judgment. With CBT, women experiencing PPD can learn how to reframe unhelpful ideas or unrealistic expectations and engage in behaviors that are more in line with their values and needs.
Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Things Everyone Should Know About Postpartum Depression?”
1 . Postpartum depression is common.
Studies show that up to one in five women experience a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder like postpartum depression, and that about one in eight experience postpartum depression. One of the symptoms of depression is feeling isolated, so many women experiencing PPD feel like they are alone. It’s important to normalize PPD as a common potential part of the postpartum experience — one that deserves to be discussed and supported.
2 . Postpartum depression can affect men.
Studies show that up to one in ten men experience postpartum depression. Dads are not experiencing the same physiological shifts as birth mothers, but they are still undergoing a huge transition upon welcoming a baby. These shifts can create changes in mood and feelings of disconnection, loss of interest, and sadness. It can be hard for men to recognize these symptoms in themselves, especially if they feel like they have to focus on caring for their partner and baby. But everyone in the family deserves support! And, the opportunity to bond. When dads take parental leave, for example, everyone in the family benefits.
3 . Sleep can be very helpful in mitigating the impact of postpartum depression.
It can be a cycle — postpartum depression can result poor sleep, which in turn exacerbates the depressive symptoms. When there’s a baby it is not easy to get quality sleep for a sufficient quantity, but it is so important for all parents’ physical and mental health to get good sleep! Take shifts with your partner or other caregivers, engage in relaxing rituals before bedtime, put on a white noise machine or use ear plugs if it’s helpful. I’ve had many postpartum clients who come to session unable to stop crying, feeling like they will never feel better, and after a solid night’s sleep they are like a different person. Sleep doesn’t cure everything but it certainly helps!
4 . Postpartum depression can sometimes look like anger.
Sometimes people who are depressed don’t cry or feel sad. Sometimes they are irritable and have feelings of rage. Women with babies who are atypically annoyed at other members of their family, who are quick to be snappy or yell, or who find themselves just feeling mad a lot of the time may actually be experiencing postpartum depression. It can be easy to miss especially because we don’t usually talk about “depression” in connection with anger and in our culture women are not usually comfortable expressing anger. But these women deserve just as much support as the mom who is sad! I work with clients on regulating their emotions, effectively communicating their needs, and engaging in self-care.
5 . Postpartum depression is absolutely treatable.
There are so many options for women experiencing postpartum depression to get help — individual therapy, medication, support groups, peer support, higher levels of care if needed…An or all of the above! The slogan of nonprofit Postpartum Support International is very true: You are not alone, you are not to blame, and with help you will be well. If you think you or a loved one is experiencing postpartum depression, please start with PSI (postpartum.net) — it has amazing resources, including semi-on-demand chat/phone support, free groups, and a searchable directory of mental health professionals like myself who specialize in perinatal mental health. You may be experiencing PPD but that does not make you a bad mom. You are a good mom having a hard time, and it will pass with the right kind of care.
What are some practical strategies for supporting a partner or loved one experiencing postpartum depression?
The main strategy is to emphasize your support and care for the woman experiencing PPD. Tell her that it’s not her fault and that you are there to help get her the support she needs. You can help her reach out to therapists or in-patient programs (for more severe depression cases like where there is a suicide risk). You can make sure she is physically taken care of, like getting enough sleep and helping her access medical care for any kind of pain. You can remind her that this is temporary and that she has support systems. You can talk about it with her, if she wants to talk. You can reassure her that you love her and the baby loves her.
What are some cultural or societal factors that may contribute to the prevalence and experience of postpartum depression, and how can we address these effectively?
In American culture, mothers are expected to do a lot with very little support. This undoubtedly causes stress and can exacerbate PPD symptoms like sadness and exhaustion. We need to better support women and mothers, through policies, medical care, and general conversations about mental health and the pressures put on moms.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I love this question, and I agree, you never know! The movement that I would want to start is among men and allies — to recognize the experiences women face like postpartum depression and to understand that they can be helpful in preventing or treating them. As a culture we need to normalize discussions of mental health, make family-friendly policies (like paid family leave or subsidized childcare) comprehensive and accessible, and stop assuming that women are the default parent and that she has to suffer through motherhood.
How can our readers further follow you online?
I’m on Instagram (@thecounselaur) and LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenatetenbaum/). I welcome opportunities to support women through postpartum depression and beyond — please email me at Lauren@TheCounseLaur.com and I’d be happy to connect!
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
Thank you!
Lauren Tetenbaum Of The CounseLaur: 5 Things Everyone Should Know About Postpartum Depression was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.