Putting The United Back Into The United States: Rabbi Pinchas Taylor On The 5 Things That Each Of Us Can Do To Help Unite Our Polarized Society
An Interview With Jake Frankel
Call out your own party. This opens your mind to the fact that there is more than an “us and them” mindset. Like we mentioned earlier about politics becoming the new “religion,” there must be basic values and moral tenets of right and wrong that transcend the political party of the violator.
As a part of our series about 5 Things That Each Of Us Can Do To Help Unite Our Polarized Society, I had the pleasure of interviewing Rabbi Pinchas Taylor.
Rabbi Pinchas Taylor is the Director of the American Faith Coalition, and formerly a member of the Governor of Florida’s Faith advisory board.
He is a best-selling author and lecturer and has spoken across the globe in a wide variety of venues. His books Pillars of Faith and A Jewish Guide to the Mysterious are great works of insight and scholarship into the spiritual realm.
Rabbi Taylor has been called the “Celebrity Life Coach” for his work with actors, athletes, and other public figures and founded “The Ark,” a successful faith-based study and coaching program.
Rabbi Taylor is a certified cognitive behavioral therapy practitioner, a certified clinical trauma specialist, a member of the American Counseling Association, and the Association for Conflict Resolution. He is often a contributor on national news outlets.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in South Florida in a mostly secular Jewish family. At age 15 I decided I wanted to become a rabbi, after enjoying learning, teaching, spirituality, and most importantly people. I began pursuing an Orthodox Jewish lifestyle from that point on and haven’t looked back since. Currently I live with my wife and 7 children in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
Well, I was in high school at the time, and thinking about what I would like to be when I grow up. After realizing I enjoyed learning, teaching, spirituality, and people, rabbi seemed like a perfect fit. Like if you were to stir those ingredients in a pot, the finished product would be a rabbi. I was very drawn to the Chabad movement, having been exposed to it in Hebrew school, and was fascinated by the ability to be both extremely traditional in beliefs and practices, yet at the same time very involved in the modern world. I finished my high school credits by the end of 10th grade and sought out a Chabad rabbinical school to go study in. 8 years later I met my wife, and we moved to Florida to teach adult education in south Florida.
Growing up in a public-school setting, I had many friends and acquaintances that were not Jewish. I was always concerned for their spiritual wellbeing, without wanting to be preachy or come across as a “Bible thumper.” I was always intrigued that Judaism does not push conversion, and simply encourages people outside of the Jewish world to live moral and God centered lives, and that it was our job to be a “light unto the nations.” With that in mind, I started the American Faith Coalition 6 years ago to offer study and coaching programs for people of all faith backgrounds. The novelty is that the study and direction was guided by ancient Jewish wisdom for modern minds. In that time we have helped several thousand people get a healthy, grounded, understanding of themselves and their connection with God and purpose in this world.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
We started opening chapters in different locations around the US last year, and plan to continue that. Furthermore, we are working on curriculums that can be used as in person, guided study and coaching by synagogues and other faith related organizations. This will help people find community, and in-person grounding in their faith and purpose no matter what their faith background is.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?
As far as career and spiritual development I would say that the rabbi I grew up with had a huge impact. I originally got a taste of healthy religion in Hebrew school, where his wife was my teacher at 7 years old. When I decided that I wanted to become a rabbi, they were very encouraging and always supportive in the process, welcoming me into their family to participate in any way that would be helpful along the journey,
As far as the more “outside the box” career moves in creating the American Faith Coalition, writing books, lecturing around the country, and doing media appearances, my mentor from rabbinical school played a very helpful encouraging role. He would always remind me that if you excel in certain areas you don’t have to simply conform to the mold and be “like everyone else” to tow party lines and take the comfortable set route.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
In my Jewish studies it was a series of books called “The Torah Anthology,” which went in depth into the Hebrew Bible in a way that I never imagined possible. I remember really having a fascination and clear understanding of things based on this great work. In business and life mindset I was highly influenced by Tim Ferris’s “4 Hour Work Week.” Seeing the flaws and limited worldviews that so many people fall into was eye-opening and I began to make changes in the way that I viewed the work I was doing.
Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does that resonate with you so much? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
“Never give up.” It was a saying my grandfather always lived with and it’s amazing how empowering and affective those 3 words have been for me in confronting anything I was trying to accomplish.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
Leadership is the ability to influence others to act. A leader motivates people to change, grow and achieve common goals. Leadership is a neutral tool; in that it can be used for good or evil. A great leader will first develop his or her own leadership skills and self-growth wisdom and then inspire others through living and modeling his life.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. The polarization in our country has become so extreme that families have been torn apart. Erstwhile close friends have not spoken to each other because of strong partisan differences. This is likely a huge topic, but briefly, can you share your view on how this evolved to the boiling point that it’s at now?
While it’s perhaps fair to say that political parties themselves may have become more “extreme” in the past thirty years, I believe that a good share of the issue is the media, and what the concept of media has devolved into. I believe that polarization is not so much an ideological, policy-based phenomenon, but rather an issue of emotion and political strategy. In fact, some studies show that Americans are not as ideologically polarized as they believe themselves to be, they are emotionally polarized (affective polarization), meaning they do not like members of the other party. I believe that the media plays a powerful role in this.
Far from previous generations where news was tuned into once or twice a day to get the latest reports on occurrences, networks are dedicated to 24-hour news reporting. That space must be filled, and stories are dissected and analyzed in various angles, and selected people give their take on every detail. Stories are sensationalized to promote the agendas and viewpoints that the network wishes to project. The viewers live in the echo chamber of their chosen network and accept the projected views as “obvious” and the only conclusions that could possibly be reached. Anyone who sees it from a different angle is seen as, at best, “stupid” or, at worst, someone who hates you and the country.
Social media perpetuates this, in that even if someone does not want to watch the news, has a newsfeed full of headlines, including satirical articles and fake news, or political memes, charts, reels, and videos that grossly oversimplify the issues, followed by thousands of comments by people that know nothing of the subject matter and simply parrot what they heard from their respective politicized news sources. Furthermore, politicians need not wait for their words to be picked up by a cable news network, they can instead grandstand in congress, use rhetoric that will make them stand out, and clip their best moments to reach millions of people instantly via a viral Instagram post. This incentivizes extreme and divisive rhetoric.
Furthermore, social ties have loosened, and some have become fully undone. Politics has become saturated in everything. Sports used to be something that could bring people together despite differences in other areas. Sports have become politicized, everything from correct team placement for transgender athletes, to renaming team names which are deemed “offensive,” or whether to stand or kneel during the national anthem prior to the game. TV and movies are politicized. Science has become politicized. Religion politicized. Every area of life, even the things that we could all at one point just enjoy together, in that way, has become something to potentially divide us further. America is divided because we have lost what unites us.
I have no pretensions about bridging the divide between politicians, or between partisan media outlets. But I’d love to discuss the divide that is occurring between families, co-workers, and friends. Do you feel comfortable sharing a story from your experience about how family or friends have become a bit alienated because of the partisan atmosphere?
There are many examples, but this was even more present during the COVID era. Many individuals chose not to get the vaccine and were no longer welcomed to family events. This was obviously after the vaccine and boosters were available for those who wanted them. In many cases with people in our community, the unvaccinated family members were willing to be “extra cautious” and distance themselves from those who were sensitive to the subject matter, yet they remained unwelcomed because they were essentially deemed “bad” or “immoral” for not getting it. I’d imagine this had a lot more to do with political or media hype and scare tactics than with science and disease control.
In your opinion, what can be done to bridge the divide that has occurred in families? Can you please share a story or example?
Covid tensions have mellowed tremendously in the population, as well as the media hysteria affiliated with it. So, many of those family strife issues have gone away. I’ve seen a lot of family members as of late actually putting aside their political differences much more in recent years and coming together. They realized that it wasn’t worth losing important relationships in fighting to defend politicians and parties that don’t really care about them.
How about the workplace, what can be done to bridge the partisan divide that has fractured relationships there? Can you please share a story or example?
It must always be remembered that even if political parties are very divided, the average American has quite a bit of overlap with their neighbor or coworkers on ideological issues. There’s a lot more common ground than what people tend to think. If we are having a conversation with someone, perhaps it’s useful to engage them and emphasize the aspects of the conversation in the 80% of the things that you do agree with, instead of emphasizing the 20% of the things that you don’t.
I think one of the causes of our divide comes from the fact that many of us see a political affiliation as the primary way to self-identify. But of course, there are many other ways to self-identify. What do you think can be done to address this?
Absolutely. For some political affiliation has become the new “religion.” A few years back the Political Psychology Journal did a large study presenting participants with different moral violations committed by certain political figures. It wasn’t the morality of the incident that was the primary factor in shaping people’s judgment, but the political affiliation of the actor. Democrats were more prone to give Democrats a pass on a moral failing, and Republicans were prone to give pass to Republicans.
As formally organized religious faith and attendance has declined, ideological intensity has risen. The United States has long been known for “civil religion” — a shared, nonsectarian faith centered on the flag, the nation’s founding documents, and God. However, the God factor is waning and those who self-identify as “nothing in particular” — have risen to one-third of the U.S. population. Furthermore, now perhaps more than ever, there is questioning the very foundations of this country, the flag and founding documents.
Unity happens when we cultivate the things that unite us. When there is a shared foundation and shared vision, people can come together. This works on a societal level, as well as an individual level. If a marriage lacks a shared vision and is not grounded upon a connecting agent bigger and deeper than the two spouses, it’s likely to wind up in divorce. Without a unified connecting agent, they remain two polarized individuals. The deeper the unifying agent, like shared values, spiritual beliefs, sense of purpose, and the like, the more likelihood of it lasting. Strengthening our foundations in our national “civil religion,” and recognizing everyone as being inherent equals, created in the Image of God, helps prevent the calls for a national divorce. Stop living your life identifying as one of two political parties, and instead, choose to be an individual created with a divine purpose, who is a part of a great nation.
Perhaps one of the secrets to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s success in bridging a racially divided nation was his choosing to build on the value of people, rather than knocking them down with guilt. In the same way that building a tall and mighty building requires digging deep into the ground for stability, so too, building up the American public must be done by grounding them in their foundations, the values laid out in our founding documents. The growth of a tree is dependent upon having strong roots, and likewise is our growth as a nation. King’s dream is indeed the American dream, envisioned by the Founding Fathers, and something that all Americans should get behind. We can choose to identify as just “Americans” and children of God.
Much ink has been spilled about how social media companies and partisan media companies continue to make money off creating a split in our society. Sadly the cat is out of the bag and at least in the near term there is no turning back. Social media and partisan media have a vested interest in maintaining the divide, but as individuals none of us benefit by continuing this conflict. What can we do moving forward to not let social media divide us? What can we do moving forward to not let partisan media pundits divide us?
Firstly, limiting time on social media would be a good start. Acknowledge that the person who posted something you didn’t like, likely doesn’t really know all that much about the issue and is regurgitating from his echo chamber. Also, be mature enough to admit to yourself that you likely do not know very much about the topic at hand and are likely regurgitating something you saw in your echo chamber. Along those lines, if it is a subject you are interested in, it would be worthwhile becoming more familiar with the nuance and different angles of the issue by reading several books from different points of view on the topic. The more a person really knows about something the more common ground and dialogue there can be. Usually, the ones shouting the loudest are the ones that know the least.
Learn how to disregard or defuse extreme posts rather than jumping in the fight with someone who probably is not going to change his viewpoints from your stern worded rebuttal. Reminding users that online speech has real-world, off-line consequences can lead users to recant a post, as can making a personal or empathetic connection with the speaker. Finally, funny memes that make fun of the original idea can also defuse potential heated situations.
Ok, wonderful. Here is the main question of our interview. Can you please share your “5 Steps That Each Of Us Can Take To Proactively Help Unite Our Country”. Kindly share a story or example for each. Simply put, is there anything else we can do to ‘just be nicer to each other’?
We need to speak specifically about things that we ourselves can do. We cannot wait for “others” to change, we need to make sure we are aligned first.
1. First and foremost, and the core of everything, I believe, is the importance for us to come back to the “civil religion” that we, until recently, had. Like Mr. Miyagi says in Karate Kid III when presented with a broken bonsai tree, “the tree will heal because it has strong roots.” We need to start with the fundamentals, because if we cannot champion our founders and founding documents, and the values upon which the country is based, then the country will not survive. Educating ourselves and taking pride in our history will be what most greatly shapes our destiny.
2. Stay human. As corrupt as politicians and political parties can be, recognize that the person you are working with on the other side of the isle is not a part of that, and likely has many noble ideals and values. Don’t make them as symbolic bearers of the misdeeds of the worst elements in their party. When there is disagreement, refrain from calling out people based on your set of principles, but rather invite them to better honor their own principles.
3. Call out your own party. This opens your mind to the fact that there is more than an “us and them” mindset. Like we mentioned earlier about politics becoming the new “religion,” there must be basic values and moral tenets of right and wrong that transcend the political party of the violator.
4. Emphasize the many areas we can agree on. Downplay the fringes and highlight the median. As mentioned, Americans are more polarized emotionally than ideologically, and we disagree on policy far less than people think. When you show that the stereotype is different, this can overturn beliefs of others and reduces polarization, since we are not that different after all. This can also be seen in highlighting the large spectrum of viewpoints within each party.
5. Take a media diet. Don’t watch hours of cable news shows that are all towing the same party line. Take a social media “diet” as well. It’s very important to be able to see things from another perspective and consuming too much “news” tends to exacerbate bad feelings for the “other” side.
Viewing things from the perspective of others may not change you to a new position, which isn’t the goal, but may broaden your viewpoint so as, at least, to not generate hatred toward the other side. Steven Pinker argues in his book The Better Angels of Our Nature that the printing press likely increased levels of empathy following the Enlightenment by making it easier to read stories framed in the perspective of others and speculates that some of the literature written from the perspective of black slaves may have been instrumental to the abolition of slavery. Social media may have had the exact opposite effect, encouraging “side taking” instead of “perspective taking.”
There are minimalist apps that can help you control the amount of endless scrolling that you may do on social media. Consuming too much media in any form sharpens the blade of partisanship.
We are going through a rough period now. Are you optimistic that this issue can eventually be resolved? Can you explain?
Resolved in what way, I guess, would be the question. Resolved like the parties will come together and ride off into the sunset any time soon? Seems unlikely. But resolved where people stop hating each other, I’m more optimistic. I believe that the vast majority of Americans realize that there is a great feeling of divide and would like it to stop.
I also know that our country has made it through very staunch divides before. We made it through the original War of Independence, which put family members against each other. Then we fought a Civil War, which was terrible, and God willing, will never happen again, but we did get through it. We got through Jim Crow, the Vietnam War, and other deeply divisive issues, that our nation came out whole. Many people who say that “it has never been so divided” are perhaps talking about what they remember, personally, in their lifetime, but certainly not considering the breadth of history in the US. I am cautiously optimistic about the future. I don’t think people want to go down those roads again. I’m not sure how long it will take, or what it will involve, but I am hopeful that the arc or history bends toward justice. I am also a believer in the Hebrew Bible and anticipate the day when good will in the end prevail.
If you could tell young people one thing about why they should consider making a positive impact on our society, like you, what would you tell them?
To have a truly successful life, not only in the financial realm, but a fully successful life, we need to see the inherent value within ourselves and spend our lives developing something that lasts beyond ourselves. While you are living your life, consider that you are also a link in the chain of future generations, and the choices you make now, can very likely have a lasting impact on your children, and their children, and beyond. It’s imperative, for having a lasting sense of fulfillment and wellbeing to contribute a positive impact to the society around you.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
Thomas Sowell. Please tag him. 😊
How can our readers follow you online?
Pinchastaylor.com or better yet on social media:
Facebook.com/pinchastaylor
Instagram.com/pinchastaylor
Youtube.com/pinchastaylor
And so forth.
This was very meaningful, and thank you so much for the time you spent on this interview. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Putting The United Back Into The United States: Rabbi Pinchas Taylor On The 5 Things That Each Of… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.