Volunteer for an issue we are passionate about, take a leadership role, and make a difference. Working directly with and for others changes our brain chemistry for the better and reaffirms our sense of purpose and connection. This can be big such as a service trip or even just an hour every week or two spent volunteering for a local cause.
As a part of our series about 5 Steps That Each Of Us Can Take To Proactively Help Heal Our Country, I had the pleasure of interviewing Rhoda Weisman.
Rhoda Weisman is a Los Angeles-based coach, mentor, and skill-builder specializing in the non-profit sector. As the Founder and Chief Creative Officer of Rhoda +Co, Rhoda is passionately devoted to developing purpose-driven and innovative leaders across the globe, challenging them to be more visionary and effective than they think possible, and has coached over 5,000 leaders. She has also undergone over four years of intensive chaplaincy and grief training at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles and UCLA Santa Monica, allowing her to provide coaching for leaders and their talent on overcoming hardships and thriving together as a community during challenging times.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you. Can you tell us a bit about how you grew up?
Sure, I’d love to. I grew up in the Midwest and was always drawn to unique things that made me a bit different from my peers: running to art films when everyone else was watching Star Trek, just about living at the library when my friends were cheerleaders, or out shopping and spending a great deal of time with my amazing grandma (and my role model) instead of hanging out on Friday nights. I still love those kinds of films, read like crazy, and have spent my career helping others.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
When I read “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradbury, it changed my life. I realized that so much of our responses to almost all situations and ideas are in our control.
I was always someone with big feelings. Learning to pause and name what I was feeling and then intentionally decide how I wanted to respond instead of reacting in that moment, has greatly improved every relationship in my life. It allows me the freedom to quickly tap into my values, emotions, and ideas, and respond with much more conviction, empathy, and wisdom.
It also allows me to help my clients learn and practice this skill in their own lives and careers. They consistently report having much more success in their careers, fulfilling relationships, and increased professional voice/presence.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
One of my favorite quotes comes from Oprah Winfrey: “I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint — and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.”
I had a quarter-life crisis at 25 and followed a dream that seemed crazy yet right for me. I left a healthcare career my parents chose for me for graduate school in Boston to live out a deep belief that all of us are responsible for making a better world around us. It’s there that I fell in love with leadership and made reaching out, identifying, and developing young leaders of social change my life mission.
How do you define “Leadership?” Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
Pure and simple, exemplary leadership has never been more important or needed. Leaders model strong universal values and are not afraid to make changes. They see a larger-scale vision of where an organization or person needs to go, and understand how to empower others to actualize their own potential and do good, important things. With this, they reward their followers with honest and true appreciation.
I think of leadership as centering on Kouzes and Posner’s “Five Practices of Exemplary Leadership,” and my own addition of a sixth aspect, emotional intelligence (EQ). EQ is the foundation for exemplary leadership — knowing and managing one’s own emotions, empathizing and understanding others’ emotions, and building compassionate and trusting relationships. Almost always, the most effective leaders whom others follow are the most emotionally intelligent.
In life, we come across many people, some who inspire us, some who change us, and some who make us better people. Is there a person or people who have helped you get to where you are today? Can you share a story?
When I was in graduate school, I was enrolled in a leadership class, exploring how to work with groups different from myself ethically, racially, and religiously. I admittedly was hesitant to speak up in class, as my colleagues seemed to have much more experience than me. Just before graduation, the professor pulled me aside. He said that my understanding and passion for complex leadership issues set the bar for the rest of the class. He urged me to rise above my internal intimidation and go forth boldly with courage and confidence to forge new paths that others would follow.
That moment set the course for my next 36 years, which would be filled with more opportunity, meaning, and joy than I could have ever imagined. I will always be grateful to him beyond words for not only believing in me but for helping me to believe in myself.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. The United States is currently facing a series of unprecedented crises. So many of us see the news and ask how we can help. We’d love to talk about the steps that each of us can take to help heal our county, in our own way. Which particular crisis would you like to discuss with us today? Why does that resonate with you so much?
Earlier this year, the current Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek H. Murphy made a public statement that mental health is the defining crisis of our time, and, for many Americans, loneliness is at the heart of this crisis. It is often referred to now as the loneliness epidemic.
I believe that all action begins from inside of us. If we can honor those feelings of loneliness, sadness, anger, etc, we can change the situations that are causing them. We can learn to put our phones down, be more vulnerable, and connect much more deeply with others, which helps diminish and cure loneliness. This allows us to act more patiently, kindly, and creatively and mobilizes our higher thinking which will improve the quality of lives and the society we are part of.
This is likely a huge topic. But briefly, can you share your view on how this crisis evolved to the boiling point that it’s at now?
Purpose comes from caring for people, ideas, and issues beyond ourselves. U.S. society has become far more individualistic over the last few decades. While it is important to prioritize one’s well-being, a steady diet of “me first” can often lead to loneliness, spiritual neglect, and selfishness.
This has been significantly exacerbated by technology. Humans are social beings, and without prioritizing responsibility to others, we become much less compassionate and far more callous as individuals at home, at work, and in our communities.
As leaders, if we treat others in ways that cause alienation, embarrassment, or shame, we are setting ourselves up for the behavior to increase. People model what they see. Instead, let’s work to help build on people’s strengths and strengthen their challenges to work toward the same vision of creating something better.
Can you tell our readers a bit about your experience either working on this cause or your experience being impacted by it? Can you share a story with us?
When I was younger, I saw that unchecked loneliness and egocentrism can lead to cruelty and dysfunction in families, friend circles, and at school. I promised myself that would never be my way of life. Amazingly, I was blessed with a grandmother who always volunteered to help others, and had a sense of purpose greater than only herself. At 90, when she could no longer volunteer at the home for the aging down the road, she lamented, “Who is going to help the old people?” She was happy, full of life, and surrounded by friends and family who adored her, and vice versa. There is a loneliness in prioritizing oneself, and we as a community and nation can turn — and need to turn — this around before it becomes irremovable.
From a professional viewpoint, I notice daily a disconnect between how people respond now versus before COVID-19, with much less compassion and much more cynicism and judgment, even in the non-profit sector where a majority of my work lies.
Can you please share your “5 Steps That Each Of Us Can Take To Proactively Help Heal Our Country?”
Volunteer: Volunteer for an issue we are passionate about, take a leadership role, and make a difference. Working directly with and for others changes our brain chemistry for the better and reaffirms our sense of purpose and connection. This can be big such as a service trip or even just an hour every week or two spent volunteering for a local cause.
Spirituality: Spirituality nurtures our souls. While it means something different to everyone, investing in a belief or practice that lifts our spirits and souls changes us for the better. We become kinder, more compassionate, and more loving to ourselves and others. There are many ways to incorporate spiritual practices into our lives, including yoga, meditation, prayer, religion, direct service, nature art, and much more. We need to experiment, listen to our passion, find one or more practices that speak to us, and do what feels right.
Be a Helping Human: Ask the people around us at home and work, “How can I help?” All of us have colleagues, friends, and family who come upon hard times or can seem out of sorts. Let’s slow down, take a breath, look around, and see which of them may be struggling. A friend needed someone to pick up their child from a gymnastics class across town. I live in LA, and believe me the traffic here is rough at 6 pm. But I had the time and my friend was in a bind so I asked, ‘How can I help?” Picking up my friend’s daughter turned out to be great fun as she regaled us with funny stories and wonderful energy. We all felt happy and purposeful.
Donate: Donate a gift to a cause we believe in every month, it can even be the nonprofits where we may work. We can give as little as a dollar or as much as thousands of dollars. If we want a more just and equitable world, we have to use our agency and create it. In this way, we also become role models for others to do the same. America is the most philanthropically generous country in the world. That is a great honor, and with honor comes responsibility. It is up to us to be generous of mind, spirit, and resources to help repair parts of our societies that are broken.
Be Kind: Go out of our way to be kind. Use our emotional intelligence (EQ) to recognize our feelings and make intentional decisions about how to respond to others with civility and kindness, especially when we are triggered. Seeing others as equals and being kind to the strangers in our paths is crucial. We are also strangers to others and when they smile and are kind, it feels good. People who feel good rarely hurt others; that is our great goal.
It’s very nice to suggest ideas, but what can we do to make these ideas a reality? What specific steps can you suggest to make these ideas actually happen? Are there things that the community can do to help you promote these ideas?
Making these steps a reality comes down to our motivations and self-discipline. We all need to take the time to listen to our souls and challenge ourselves to “show up,” with grace, even when things are hard.
I also think our society needs to stress the importance of service. My dream has always been to mandate a year of service for all high school graduates to allow these young minds to immerse themselves in improving the world around them. And how about for retirees as well? To have a service corps where people can donate their skills in service to their community would be incredible role models for the generations behind them.
We are going through a rough period now. Are you optimistic that this issue can eventually be resolved? Can you explain?
I am a strong believer in the inherent goodness of people, even in times when our intentions and morals are tainted. As a nation, we have undergone a lot of change in recent years, including the pandemic. Being isolated for such a long period with our own thoughts can make it difficult to resume a sense of community, which greatly reinforces this sense of loneliness and focus on self.
I am hopeful that over time we will find a new sense of normalcy. There are many who are publicly and proudly practicing acts of kindness and service. Seeing the goodness of others can inspire and encourage a movement. With all the hurt our nation is experiencing, I believe there is an opportunity to lean into each other and reestablish our sense of community.
If you could tell other young people one thing about why they should consider making a positive impact on our environment or society, like you, what would you tell them?
I would tell those seeking a change that happiness derives from the inside: how we think and feel about ourselves, and subsequently, how we treat ourselves and others. We need a purpose to drive us. Think about what sits on your heart and then create a vision of how to attack this. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what is right.
Leadership also begins within ourselves. The strongest leaders are almost always the most emotionally intelligent and self-reflective. Managing our own emotions allows us to better understand how to manage the emotions of others to bring their potential to life.
Is there a person in the world, or in the U.S., with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them.
I’m not sure if this counts, but one of my biggest inspirations has been Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who was a strong advocate and immense role model for female equality. Ruth, like me, was a proud Jewish woman. I would have loved to have had the opportunity to learn from her on a personal level.
How can our readers follow you online?
I can be reached on all the platforms below and am here to help any individual or organization in any way possible.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhoda_weisman/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rhoda.weisman
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhodaweisman/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/rhodaweisman?lang=en
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you continued success on your great work!
Rhoda Weisman Of Rhoda+Co: 5 Steps That Each Of Us Can Take To Proactively Help Heal Our Country was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.