I Can’t Get No Satisfaction: Tasha Champion, The Shenomenal Coach On Why So Many Of Us Are Feeling Unsatisfied & What We Can Do About It
An Interview With Drew Gerber
Gratitude — having gratitude will serve you repeatedly. Take what I do with my children and implement it in your home. Put a poster board in the main living area of your home. Each day for 30 days have each person write what they are grateful for. At the end of the 30 days discuss it, share the feeling of doing this exercise and what it means to each of you. Get in the habit of keeping a gratitude journal and every night, no matter how crazy or chaotic that day was, write 2 things you were grateful for. Now you get to go to sleep with gratitude being the last thing on your mind. It is a beautiful feeling.
From an objective standpoint, we are living in an unprecedented era of abundance. Yet so many of us are feeling unsatisfied. Why are we seemingly so insatiable? What is going on inside of us that is making us feel unsatisfied? What is the brain chemistry that makes us feel this way? Is our brain wired for endless insatiable consumption? What can we do about it? In this interview series, we are talking to credentialed experts such as psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, brain science experts, as well as spiritual and religious leaders, and mind-body-spirit coaches, to address why so many of us are feeling unsatisfied & what we can do about it.
As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Tasha Champion.
Tasha Champion, The Shenomenal Coach, is a Certified Master Life Coach, Intuitive Healer, Retreat & Workshop Facilitator, Award Nominated 2x Best Selling Author, Speaker and Breast Cancer Survivor. She supports women who feel overwhelmed, overworked, exhausted, and underappreciated by their extensive to-do list, awaken to be unapologetic about making their self-care and healing a priority. Tasha’s mission is to guide women to love the champion they are and live in their Shenomenal G.L.O.W.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to know how you got from “there to here.” Inspire us with your backstory!
Where do I begin? I swear my life is a four-part Lifetime movie! The beautiful part of my story is the awakening to my healing journey and taking action. Awakening to healing means there was a part of me that was hurting and feeling underappreciated. I felt I was behind the mark of where I should have been as a woman but also as a mother and wife. I was just existing day to day. I was married to the father of my four children but didn’t have a marriage. I was barely making ends meet sometimes and trying to hide it because I was embarrassed about my financial irresponsibleness. I didn’t believe I could have more than what I had, and I had not discovered my purpose, so I felt useless and worthless. I felt being a mom was the best I could do. I had dreams of being more but with no guidance, holding on to shame and embarrassment and limited beliefs, I didn’t think those dreams becoming a reality was even possible.
When I accepted that I needed a divorce and talked to my now “wasband” about it, he agreed, and we planned to tell the children the next day. My ex had multiple affairs, had become lazy and wouldn’t work, and I can’t even count the number of times I found explicit pictures and messages in his phone. What I never in life could have imagined is that he would sit the kids down to tell them not only were we getting a divorce, but that he would no longer be their father. That he needed to restart his life as if he was never married or had children. Taking no time to heal and process all the emotions of this new way of life, I jumped into another relationship, which turned out to be unhealthy for me and my children. I stayed in that relationship for 3 years, fighting for this person to love and be with me the same way I did with my “wasband.” Seeing I was just repeating habits and getting the same result, I knew something had to change and it could only be me. When God showed me that my life would continue on this path if I didn’t make the changes within myself, I admitted I needed help, because I could not do it on my own. I connected with a life coach and went on a complete mental, emotional, and spiritual healing journey.
I dug deep into the dark fears, tears, frustration and truth. I became aware of how I landed in this space and how I could now choose a different path. This wasn’t easy. I was awakening to possibilities I didn’t know existed. Most of us think this is just the way life must be and I was one of them. Although I desperately wanted better for myself, no one showed me that was possible, so I accepted life as it was. My life coach guided me to acknowledging and seeing myself just as I was. It wasn’t always easy, but it was always worth it. The more I did the work, the more the answers that were always in me revealed themselves. Healing is a journey I intentionally started, and it is why I am here today.
What lessons would you share with yourself if you had the opportunity to meet your younger self?
Get to know yourself before you need to learn who you are as a mother or a wife or any other title. Love yourself unapologetically. Teach people how to treat and love you by the way you treat and love yourself. Surround yourself with people who will pour into you and not just receive from you. This life will be as beautiful as you decide to make it but there will be obstacles. Learn and grow through each one. Ask for support, and never be ashamed to ask for the support you need.
None of us are able to experience success without support along the way. Is there a particular person for whom you are grateful because of the support they gave you to grow you from “there to here?” Can you share that story and why you are grateful for them?
December 31, 2014 was the day God told me I would need to make the biggest changes in my life. I was afraid, ashamed and felt I would be judged because I had already reached out to two people I thought I could trust and shared how I was feeling. I explained I felt I needed help. I didn’t feel like myself, and I felt I was drowning with no one around. I was vulnerable and they shot me down. One went as far as to say, “you just need to go to church,” so I locked up my thoughts and feelings yet again. This ran through my mind as I accepted God’s warning to change but I had to push through this time. I asked him to send me the person who could help me, and He sent me Elyse Falzone of Awake and Soulful.
Through unjudged love, I felt safe to disclose everything I was feeling. She became the container and held sacred healing space for me. She guided me inward and showed me greatness within myself. She showed me how I played a part in where I was in life, and I will say that was not easy. This helped me take responsibility rather than place blame. No matter how uncomfortable it became, I kept going, digging deeper and deeper into unpacking the hurt I thought I would never escape. She showed me how to take what I thought was “bad” about me and turn it into my superpowers. My work with Elyse changed my life. I thank her all the time and she reminds me it was me who did the work. Through working with her in my healing, I discovered my purpose to support others. I’ve always had a passion and enjoyment in helping others and now I wanted to support women in their healing so they, too, could experience the freedom I was feeling.
I am grateful Elyse Falzone is who God sent to me. Here we are 8 years later, and she is still a significant mentor in my life. Allowing the support she offered taught me how to accept support from others and throughout these 8 years, I’ve been blessed with many other persons who are mentors and guides in my life.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think it might help people?
I am always working on a new project! Things pop into my head all the time and if it is something that can help people, I am moving full speed ahead to bring it to fruition. I will be having my Empower Your Visions workshop soon. It is a fun vision board party, but of course, it is far more than just gluing pictures to a poster board. I do them at the end of the year to prepare for an amazing year of manifesting the things you desire. I will have my 3rd Annual Shenomenal Women’s Brunch in the summer of 2023, and I will be launching my Shenomenal Retreat in October 2023. In between the big events, I do smaller and more personalized workshops. Sometimes I put them together and sometimes I am requested to facilitate. One of my biggest projects that will premiere in the second quarter of 2023 is my transformation healing academy. It is a 6-month program that goes into the depths of healing, awakening and transforming through group coaching and soul activation.
Ok, thank you for sharing your inspired life. Let’s now talk about feeling “unsatisfied”. In the Western world, humans typically have their shelter, food, and survival needs met. What has led to us feeling we aren’t enough and don’t have enough?
What has led to us not feeling we are enough is the lack of gratitude for what we already have. As we look around at our everyday life, we continuously focus on what we don’t have. We give energy to the “ifs” in life. If I had more money, I could (fill in the blank). If I had a better relationship, I would (fill in the blank). If I lost weight, I would (fill in the blank). We are in unhealthy relationships with things that we don’t have, and it plays into our insecurities and ultimately we feel less than.
What is the wiring? Or in other words, how has nature and nurture played into how humans (in an otherwise “safe and secure” environment) experience feeling less than, or a need to have more than what is needed for basic survival?
It is interesting that it seems to be in our human nature to always be in a place of desiring more. While there is nothing wrong with seeking more in life, the problem arises when we disconnect from what we already have, and our value is placed in what we desire. We are taught to give thanks for food and shelter because so many people are without it. This way of thinking is displaced gratitude. We are only giving thanks because we have something someone else doesn’t have.
There is something I do with my children a few times a year, especially before the Christmas season, to be reminded of our daily blessings in life. I place a poster board in our living room on the wall. Each day for 30 days, we write something we are grateful for and at the end of the 30 days we get to see just how much we have. Our everyday living can cause us to simply “forget” what we have and what we have access to. If every time I open the refrigerator and I can grab exactly what I want, the appreciation of food and having the appliance to keep it fresh is forgotten about. We are not reminded that this food is a basic need because it is so easily available. As we become intentional about being grateful for what we have, we will see the fullness in our everyday environment.
We are also taught to stress about paying bills rather than appreciating that the bill exists because it provides a basic need in life. For instance, you have an electric bill because you have lights in your home. A water bill because you have running water to flush toilets, wash your hands, and shower. A gas bill to heat the water and heat your home in the cold. You have a cell phone bill because anywhere you go, you have access to call someone. Just for a moment, pause and give thanks and gratitude for your home life (rent/mortgage), utility bills (gas, water, electric), bonus bills (cable, internet, cell phone), insurance (life, home, and auto because this protects you). See these things as more than just money going out. Give thanks for the money that pays these bills every month. If we can rewire our brain to be in gratitude for what exists in our current everyday life, the very things that we have that make life worth living, we will return to appreciating our basic needs. Being in this space of gratitude for what you already have, opens the door for you to have more without your self-value and self- worth being attached.
How are societies different? For example, capitalistic societies trade differently than communists. Developed nations trade differently than developing nations. In your opinion, how does society shape a human’s experience and feelings of satisfaction?
Society has assured people to never feel they have enough. Whatever you have, we are taught there is a higher level or a more advanced product that will help us feel better about ourselves. You can get a value meal at a drive thru restaurant but to feel satisfied you must get the larger size, or upgrade from a soft drink to a shake. We are constantly bombarded with “get more,” and if you don’t, you will feel like crap.
Every day, social media and commercials show us how happy people are because of what they have, so what do we do? We seek out these items because we “need to feel happy.” We have become a nation built on seeking joy and satisfaction outside of ourselves and if we live this way, we will never have enough. What does this cause? Companies to develop more and more products that play into our insecurities. People will jump up and buy these things and feel all this sense of accomplishments and gratitude and yet that feeling only lasts for a moment. It is not sustainable satisfaction. How do we shift this? By returning inward and learning that happiness, joy, and security are an inside job. If you don’t feel it internally, nothing externally will provide it.
With a specific focus on brain function, how has the brain and its dominion over the body and beliefs been impacted by the societal construct?
It’s simple, our experiences shape our beliefs. Our beliefs are a culmination of our thoughts and experiences which create our perspectives. As long as you experience something over and over again, your brain becomes wired to believe it as it happened. Someone could tell you a story about yourself that never happened. If they repeat it long enough and often enough, eventually your brain will consider it as true. Let’s think about this in terms of “having.” Say you drive a $10,000 car, you are single and feeling down on yourself because you want more. Your co-worker pulls up every day in their $80,000 car. They hop out in the nicest suit and a big smile on their face. They get in the office and talk about their fun date or loving relationship, and you sit back wishing you could feel like this. Subconsciously, you tell yourself you are less than because you don’t have what they have. Now you’re home watching tv and a commercial flashes that same beautiful car your co-worker has. Before bed, you watch that love comedy movie where everyone has these happy loving relationships. All these things are developing in the brain that without these things you are nothing and eventually you believe it as true. You now need what your co-worker has and what the movie has shown you, in order to feel better about yourself. This is your new belief system and the experience of seeing this repeatedly, has shaped it.
Do you think the way our society markets and advertises goods and services, has affected people’s feelings of satisfaction? Can you explain what you mean?
Absolutely. As long as your television is on or you have your electronic device scrolling through social media, you are always alerted to what you don’t have. There is a constant bombardment of “hey you should get this” or “you need that,” and if you don’t have it you are “less than.” The best of the best have these products, wear these clothes and shoes, or drive this car. Then add to these products and services, the influencers who advertise them are the ones the teens and young adult generation admire. What we already have is not good enough and I will be valued if I get what others have.
I work in marketing so I’m very cognizant of this question. In your opinion, how do you think marketing professionals can be more responsible for how their advertising shapes humans’ health and experience of happiness overall?
Wow, this is a question not many people seem to be asking so thank you for asking. The first thing that needs to be done is to consider mental health. There is so much pressure these days to be, do and have more to feel worthy and that can directly affect mental health. The second thing is implementing some type of gratitude in the messaging. Maybe for every 3 commercials shoving things down your throat, there is 1 commercial that reminds you to be grateful for what you have. Third, show equality. Just like the fashion industry has started to show models of all sizes, marketing of other products should be somewhat the same. For instance, show children accepting a pair of Wal-Mart And1 shoes with the same intensity they would in accepting a pair of name brand basketball shoes. Or maybe show people getting treated with the same love and respect regardless of what they have on or in their physical possession. It’s interesting that we show people with special differences being celebrated and treated as equal as we should, why have we not done that in the marketing of products?
For you personally, if you have all your basic needs met, do you feel you have enough in life?
Yes, and I had to learn this the hard way. I used to look around and focus on what everyone else had and I would feel ashamed that I didn’t have those things and I judged myself thinking others were judging me. I didn’t give thanks to anything I had because it wasn’t enough, I should have more. It was in learning gratitude through self-exploration and learning self-love that I was able to see just how much I had and by not comparing myself to others released the self-judgment.
Having my basic needs met now keeps me grounded in gratitude and yet I can keep myself open to being able to have more when I desire it. However, I don’t tie my value to having more. As long as my basic needs are met, I feel accomplished, that I have exactly what I need, and anything more is a blessed bonus. I celebrate my basic needs being met the same way I celebrate getting something I wanted.
Okay, fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview: Can you share with our readers your “5 things we can each do to address the feeling of not having enough.” Please share a story or example for each.
- Gratitude — having gratitude will serve you repeatedly. Take what I do with my children and implement it in your home. Put a poster board in the main living area of your home. Each day for 30 days have each person write what they are grateful for. At the end of the 30 days discuss it, share the feeling of doing this exercise and what it means to each of you. Get in the habit of keeping a gratitude journal and every night, no matter how crazy or chaotic that day was, write 2 things you were grateful for. Now you get to go to sleep with gratitude being the last thing on your mind. It is a beautiful feeling.
- Grace — give yourself some grace. This was not an easy thing for me to learn. The guilt of not having something and comparing it to my age (at this age, I should already have ______) made me feel behind the bar and less than. I had to learn how to give myself grace and acknowledge that everyone starts differently and although I may see people with more, I don’t know what it took for them to get there. Can you give yourself some grace because where you are right now is perfect? If you can acknowledge that, then you can have more without feeling you are not enough without it.
- Get support — maybe hire a life coach or go to therapy and seek out where this feeling of unworthiness stems from. Peeling back those layers can help you explore and identify why you don’t feel you are enough. I did this and I found that my feelings were tied to not being supported as a child. I wanted to sing and dance, and my parents ignored it. I was a cheerleader for 2 years and not one family member came to see me cheer. I didn’t feel my family saw me as valuable enough to support, and I carried that into adulthood, but it was through the support of a life coach that I was able to identify it. I was then able to work through those emotions and see myself as enough just as I was.
- Read books — find self-help books that teach you about gratitude, authenticity, abundance, self-love, and self-worth. Many of us don’t know why we feel a certain way because we’ve never learned any different. Reading these kinds of books will not only give you “aha” moments, but it will give you valuable lessons and tools to use so you know how to stay in the spirit of “I am enough.” I drive a lot, so it’s easy to turn on an audio book and just listen to the words. I learn something new with each book, especially if I listen to one more than once. These books make me feel the universe is supporting my efforts to recognize, “I am enough.”
- Accountability — you are not the only person that feels this way. Get you an accountability buddy. Sometimes it is easier to join a group and connect with a stranger than it is to connect with someone we know. Sit and talk with that person about the accountability you need and of course be receptive to what they need. You both will be able to see each other’s blind spots and bring awareness to one another. This process supported me because I easily got stuck in self-judgment and self-comparison. My accountability buddy would gently call me out. I would also sometimes see a reflection of self-judgment in them and that allowed me to see it more within myself to work through it.
We don’t always recognize when we are feeling less than and unfortunately, it sometimes takes a catastrophic incident for us to recognize it. Be sure to check in with yourself daily to see how you are feeling in your mind, body, and spirit. Journal about it so you can be aware of the subtle and big changes.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have inspired you to live with more joy in life?
Absolutely. Some of my favorite books are: The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes, Limitless by Brisa Alfaro, What I know for Sure by Oprah Winfrey, The Universe Has Your Back and Spirit Junkie by Gabby Bernstein, Peace from Broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant and Spirit Hacking by Shaman Durek. Of course I cannot forget about Shenomenal Women by Tasha Champion and 22 other amazing co-authors. For resources, I would say attending empowerment workshops for women that awaken and enhance my spiritual and mental well-being.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I am working on my Shenomenal movement as we speak. I am intentionally bringing women into the awareness of their greatness and their beauty no matter what they have been through. Purposely guiding women into healing and using their past to create their superpowers. I want every single woman to know they are Shenomenal, they were born Shenomenal. I want every young girl to look in the mirror and say I am a Shenomenal girl. A Shenomenal woman is the extraordinary phenomenal woman who supports & celebrates the uniqueness and beauty of other women. She gives up her excuses to make a way through life’s most challenging times so she can walk in her purpose and her Shenomenal G.L.O.W. Join this movement!
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
Follow me on social media platforms! My Facebook name is TC Champion and my Instagram is @TheShenomenalCoach. You can also watch my show, She is Shenomenal every Wednesday night on my YouTube channel, The Shenomenal Coach. You can also head over to shenomenal.com and sign up to receive my weekly newsletter and find out about upcoming events.
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
My pleasure. Thank you so much for having me!
About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity.
I Can’t Get No Satisfaction: Tasha Champion, The Shenomenal Coach On Why So Many Of Us Are Feeling… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.